Is it even worth it anymore? Relationship advice please!

Brittncay - posted on 07/13/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Okay ladies bare with me here

My ex boyfriend and I were together for a month before getting pregnant with my son, at first I kind of thought I would be a single mom but then about a week later he came around and we decided to keep the baby. Throughout my pregnancy he was there 100% and treated me amazing. We had our odd fight but things were amazing, he would leave me notes, and text me cute messages throughout the day. When the baby came things started to really go down hill, although he woke up with baby and helped out when he wasn't at work we still fought and on several occasions broke up, and then a week later rekindled. Well later things have really turned for the worst, we broke up and I served him custody papers out of spite, we ended up talking it out and I dropped the case, well we just broke up again about a month ago and he served me custody papers, again I think he did it out of spite, we were separated for about a month and then agreed to talk and both agreed we wanted to work things out. During this time, he was very amazing, he would send me texts saying how he loves us with all his heart, and misses us so much, always asking how my day was, ect. . He is currently living at a house with a few buddies so I get upset because our little guy was sick and my ex wasn't around to help me. So we started arguing and saying hurtful things to eachother, He told me he just needed his space. At first I respected it because I didn't want to lose him, but then I started to think the "wanting space" could mean several things, was he not interested anymore? is he seeing someone else? did he really just need space? I overthink WAYY to much. He ended up coming over and we talked and he said "please don't take this space thing the wrong way, i just don't think we should see eachother everyday" but if you really love someone who can you go a day without them? Anyways he ended up, having sex that night and he left, he texted me briefly the next day asking about our son and how we were doing, I finally was fed up with this waiting game and false hopes so I sent him a message stating " I don't think you love me anymore, i should just save myself the heartbreak and let go, your not giving me any hope, ect" his reply back was "Thanks for giving up, but if you want to move forward that's your choice as long as your happy" what does that even mean? We haven't spoken in three days.. ive heard mixed things about no contact, I honestly still love him and want to be together, I realize that I may have overreacted but If he's acting this way, it makes me think he doesn't want this anymore? But how could he write all these nice things to me and a week later want nothing to do with me? Please help I'm a mess. What should I do?


Michelle - posted on 07/13/2013




Sometimes we need to walk away for the sake of our children. Raising children in a household that is fighting most of the time isn't the best at all. The fact you are fighting suggests that it's not the right time or person.
I can honestly say that my husband and I have never had a fight. Yes we have disagreed on things but it has never turned into a fight. This is my 2nd marriage and the first one was completely different. We were always fighting and I had enough one day and left. It was hard but it was the best thing for myself and my children.


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Samantha - posted on 07/13/2013





Wow sounds like we share a common thing loving someone that isn't quite sure they want to be a part of the bigger picture. I've known my guy for 8 years and we were together a year when our daughter was born. The connection and love we used to have was AMAZING but like your situation when it gets bad it gets really bad. He also did the space thing and in fact was living a double life (had a girlfriend on the side). He came home recently and I stupidly checked his voicemail and there she was telling him she loved him. The relationship is obviously not over. I'm trying SO hard to not contact him but I understand the feeling like a mess. I want our family to work he is the love of my life but I'm also starting to realize when guys need space they aren't in it as much as we are. I agree if you really love someone how can you choose to be away from them especially your child. Good luck. If you need a friend add me!

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