is it more then curiosity

Melanie - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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ok this is a sensitive subject i think. But im wondering if other moms ahave kids who are very curious about their privates. I might be a bit paranoid because of my past and i think it kinda influences my judgement. But my daughter who is almost 3 is potty training so she has alot more freedom to explore. Sometimes i see her putting toys near her vagina or on it and she is constantly touching herself. when i ask her what she doing she often stops startled (not that im yelling or anything) once or twice she says that she trying to see.please give me advice or tell me if yr kids do this 2 thanx

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Stacey - posted on 07/10/2009

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My son is 17 months old n starting to potty train him too...I say it's normal...just explain to her that objects dont go near there bc she'll hurt hurself n tell her that that is to b done in private. Tell her it is her vagina she is looking at (dont agree with naming it something else..u wouldnt tell her that her eyes r windows would u) But my son pulls on it..yanks it even to the point where I'm thinking "Man...doesnt that hurt?" I tell him it's his penis n he'll point to his scrotum n i tell him scrotum then he gets bored n plays with sumthing else or points to a different body part like his head or hair. I hope u find my answer a lil reasuring...good luck to u

Melanie - posted on 07/11/2009

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Quoting Felicia Neikolle:

I know that everyone has said it was normal ... and it is - BUT ... I have never heard the toys being put there as normal exploration ... in fact, it's the opposite for my story. That is how I found out that my daughter had been molested by her dad ... she put one inside of her and hurt herself and when we asked her why she did it she told us that that is what daddy does at his house. I would still be a little concerned and watch over it ... I know when I was that age I wasn't trying to put toys there ... I don't even remember being that curious either ... I think why it's being dubbed as "normal" is the heightened sense of sexuality in EVERYTHING these days. I'm not trying to scare you ... just trying to make you aware since there IS another side of this too.



thx...im soo sorry about what happened to yr daughter could not imagine what that could feel like for a mother.Is there any other signs aside from that?She doesnt put the toys in her vagina but near it or on it.  I ask her questions but for the times she does awnser she says that shes trying to see...If you recal anything else that i could look out for that would be great.



thx

Katie - posted on 07/13/2009

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Totally normal... As humans, if it feels nice, we do it, right? Take a back rub for example - you like it. Your daughter has absolutely no idea that what she is doing is meant for private or alone time, not in the living room! She is just exploring - but if it bothers you, you could always distract her with something else when you 'catch' her doing it? Maybe a book, or a craft or something?

Rachel - posted on 07/12/2009

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I don't have a child who does this, but my nephew constantly goes around fondling himself. It's perfectly normal. They are just curious and want to know what they have and don't have...does that make any sense? Anyway I would just talk to her, without giving to much information. I really hope the best for you!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/11/2009

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night terrors and bed wetting ... constantly being drawn to things of a sexual nature (like a movie is on that they are kissing or moaning and she stops dead in her tracks entranced by it more than usual) ... starts asking a LOT when around other kids to see theirs or a constant touching ... it's so unfair and difficult with girls b/c the clitoris feels good with stimulation at EVERY age so although they know it's wrong/bad for someone to touch them it confuses them b/c it still feels good physically. Oh, and LOTS of anger issues/tantrums/acting out w/screaming and throwing of things ... these are all signs. You can even Google symptoms of sexual abuse and see the list that psychologists state are typical with it ... definitely if any kind of insertion occurs I would be concerned.

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Christina - posted on 07/12/2009

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Don't sweat it! My kids did that and in my Developmental Psych we talked about it. It's totally normal!

Melanie - posted on 07/12/2009

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thx alot Felicia.youve eased my mind with those cause she doesnt do an y of those other things.thx everyone:)

Heidi - posted on 07/12/2009

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My daughter is very interested in her vagina - and mine! I just tell her 'if you want to look at ur vagina you need to do it in your room' and when she trys to touch me (in the bath/shower) I say 'thats mummies special vagina and only I can tough it and thats yours and only you can touch it! I try to be as honest and relaxed as I can be

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2009

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So normal, ( you have probably got that by now). My son has been doing that since about 6 months, he pulls it to his belly button, when I change his nappy.
Quite a funny story- He has started being very curious about others lately, so we had a talk, you only touch yours because thats yours and if any one touches it you must tell mummy or daddy etc. Two days or so after the talk I was changing his nappy, finished and he got up and ran to his dad and said "mim (what he calls his dad) mummy touch it, mummy touch it) At least I know it sunk in.

Taffi - posted on 07/11/2009

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I think this is a lot more common when potty training. kids always want to know "why" and how. and now that they can touch themselves because they aren't wearing a diaper or pull up its going to be a sensation they're not used to feeling and will be curious. My son still sits to pee on the potty cuz we haven't mastered pooping yet. And today I went in to check on him cuz he was being quiet. he was sitting on the potty touching his penis. We never have made a big deal out of body parts-thats a learned behavior to be ashamed. We will have to have the privacy talk with him but for right now I'm a stay at home Mom and he's never with anyone else. But he doesn't do it in public or any other time so why make a big deal out of it? Then he'll want to.

Vanessa - posted on 07/11/2009

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my daughter is 3 1/2 and she used to do this at that age and i think its totally normal she was just exploring her body, i used to tell her that if she touched it too much shed get sore coz shed put germs there and she grew out of it.

Brenda - posted on 07/10/2009

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Oh yes, my four year old was trying to put a cap on his parts yesterday......

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2009

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normal explain to her though that it's o but it needs to be done in her bedroom with the door closed..

LISA - posted on 07/10/2009

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it's normal... my boy is only 1o mths and is so curious in the bath tub about his stuff... I remember when I was little the curiousity was more of what down there because you can't see it but yet you are able to pee and poop think about how interesting that must be to a child... and the doctor has told me that it is not anything sexual at all... don't worry and just when she is trying to see ignore it because you don't want her to think it is wrong to wonder about what she looks like... doc's say that it can make them learn to be ashamed of themselves... she's fine they explore find and get over stuff very quickly

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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I know that everyone has said it was normal ... and it is - BUT ... I have never heard the toys being put there as normal exploration ... in fact, it's the opposite for my story. That is how I found out that my daughter had been molested by her dad ... she put one inside of her and hurt herself and when we asked her why she did it she told us that that is what daddy does at his house. I would still be a little concerned and watch over it ... I know when I was that age I wasn't trying to put toys there ... I don't even remember being that curious either ... I think why it's being dubbed as "normal" is the heightened sense of sexuality in EVERYTHING these days. I'm not trying to scare you ... just trying to make you aware since there IS another side of this too.

Stephanie - posted on 07/10/2009

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My son does the same thing. He touches everything in sight so I'd be more surprised if he didn't. Yesterday it made me laugh because he was sitting down and when I checked on him he had a bunch of toys in his shorts. He was shoving them in there and kept saying pockets pockets. You're daughter is fine.

Brandie - posted on 07/10/2009

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My daughter is 3 she got potty trained at 2 and she still does this, I tell her to quit and she does for a little bit but to me its normal.

Abby - posted on 07/10/2009

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my son likes to check his bits are all down there still when i take his nappy off, just checks it's there and then carries on, specially in the bath. it's curiosity. i just say yes ur winkle is still there he laughs and starts playing with his toys!! x

Ann - posted on 07/10/2009

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It is sad that in the world today we have to teach our children acceptable touch. I started the talk at 2 with my daughter. Its good to let them know they are in charge of their body, and that no one should make them uncomfortable

Melanie - posted on 07/10/2009

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OOhhh wow thx everyone deffinetly eased my mind. :) i knew exploring was normal but i wasnt too sure about the toys needing to explore aswell. happy to hear yr kids do it aswell. I try not to make a big deal out of it like u guys have said and i do tell her that only momy and daddy can touch it to wipe her. I just would hate like im sure u do to that something like that would happen to her as a mother i need to protect her and i think the statistics are 1 in 3 girls get melasted i want her to be in the 2 that were never touched unapropiatly.Well thanks everyone i will feel more comfterble letting her explore safely :)

Ann - posted on 07/10/2009

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Absolutely normal. It is a stage of development....dont worry, and teach her that exploration is not bad, its just not for public or to share with friends.

[deleted account]

My 9 month old is already playing with his private parts every time I take off his diaper. This is a normal part of development and like Emma says it's a good learning opportunity for them. Make sure to tell her that it's only something we touch at home and that only she should be allowed to touch it. If anyone else touches that area she should tell mommy and daddy right away. And make sure to tell her not to be embarrassed if someone else touches it, that they are doing a bad thing and not her. Sex offenders know how to make kids feel guilty so they think it's their fault.

[deleted account]

My kids' pediatrician said this is totally normal. They're just realizing that their bodies have all these different things going on all over the place, so it's natural to explore the possibilities. I read somewhere not to make a big deal out of it (you don't want them to become embarassed by their bodies). My son gets a big kick out of his private parts, and as long as we're at home I don't even acknowledge it. If we're in public, I treat it the same way I would if he were picking his nose.

Corena - posted on 07/10/2009

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This is completely normal! Nothing to worry about! I am a preschool teacher and a mother to a five year old boy, so I understand what you are going through. I would begin to worry if your child makes inappropriate sexual comments or acts out sexually. This would be a sign of something other than just "curiosity". If she is potty training she is simply becoming more aware of her body and is curious about what is going on down there. I would explain to her that she could hurt herself if she puts toys down there (like Amber said), but this behavior is perfectly normal.

Emma - posted on 07/10/2009

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My 2 1/2 year old dose this 2,. ive just exsplained that they are her privet parts and must not do this anywhere but at home. i also exsplained that the only person aloud to touch her privet parts is her and that she must tell mommy or daddy if anyone else touches them.

Sabrina - posted on 07/10/2009

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It is normal. All of my kids have been curious about their privates. My 2 year old even touches it when she has to take a bath. Or if she sees her brother she will look at it like I dont have one. I just tell them that we dont touch down there unless we are wiping ourself. Im just afraid of them doing something that could hurt themselves.

Amber - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have caught my daughter recently putting toys down there and she has a brother and sometimes they act curious about private parts and I am also super paranoid because I used to work with teenage sex offenders. But I think that its pretty normal and as far as the toys down there, I always just tell her to stop and that she might hurt herself doing theat.

Amy - posted on 07/10/2009

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this is soo normal...nothing to worry about...dont even ask her what she is doing. my daughter is just over one and is already doing stuff like that. there just exploring. actually i read an article in a parenting mag about this but their little boy got way more into it and the dr said it was perfectly normal.

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