Is it normal to feel as lost as a step mom as the step child does

Dorothy - posted on 08/03/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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No matter what u do or how long u have been in the picture ur not trying to be mommy but will the child or children ever accept ur there and not going anywhere?

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Dorothy - posted on 08/03/2009

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i tell the kids all the time i am not here to replace their mom they only have one mom and one dad and all these other people get to be apart of their life. And my husband always tells them that just becuz he n their mom dont love eachother doesnt mean they dont love them. mommy found someone to make her better and he found someone to make him better, i guess i was just hoping after 5 yrs it got alittle easier

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Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

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Speaking from experience, my step-son has only known me and his father for just over a year. We weren't aware that my husband had another child until the child was almost 3. It was really hard on all of us because when we found out about him, my husband was in Iraq. My step-son, Leroy, is just now coming around to where he knows that his daddy and mommy will not be together or married. He does ask alot of questions about it..... My husband and I are just honest with him about everything and take it one day at a time. It may take a week or even 10 years, but just be honest and treat the child or children as if they were your own. eventually they will come around and except the fact that you are there..... Hope this helps....

Sylvia - posted on 08/03/2009

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It takes time. My Husband and I have been married for 5 years. I have two step daughters 11 and 12. It is getting better. The first year, I was scared to death. There are times now when they would rather be with me than my husband. It is normal to feel out of place but don't worry in time you all will be a family.

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