Is it okay to let my soon to be ex-husband come in and out of my sons life?

Tamara - posted on 10/09/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband has been a drug addict for several years and we first separated in July when my son A.J. was 10 weeks old. Then his mom died so i was there for him and tried to give him one more opportunity to straighten his life up. Well, he got caught up at a "friends" house and went to jail for a methlab. i thought i would never have to deal with him again, but he got out of jail on Wednesday. Now he wants to see his son before he goes to prison, but my friends who have seen him since his release said he was higher than a kite!!! what do i do?? i dont want to be a bad mad by not letting my son see his dad, but i also dont want to be a bad mom for LETTING him see his dad!

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Ashley (Raye) - posted on 10/09/2009

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Different drugs, similar situation for myself and my daughter. Only it was over four years ago for me... I believe I have a different outlook than these previous responses. * If you are done with this man that only seemed to act as the spirm doner and apparently isn't willing to fix his life for his own child, then tell him he screwed up. He had his chance, good fathers don't go to prison. Good fathers get help to BECOME great fathers. If he's signed the birth certificate, find a free clinic (like a health department or if you are a member of WIC that is awsome to start with) and get the appropriate paper work to have him sign away his rights and provide YOU with the sole custody of your precious baby that deserves better. Him going to prison under the charges he's being convicted of is WAAAAAY more of a reason for the judge to allow it. Don't feel bad, honey. If 20 years down the line he's still alive and is getting out of prison life, allow him to meet his child if he/she wants to. Move on, and be strong. You and your baby will live a healthier life because of it.*

Tonya - posted on 10/09/2009

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Quoting Sarah:

Tell your husband that he can see your son, but he has to be sober during the visit and then remain with the two of them the entire time. If your husband shows up under the influence of drugs, then simply take A.J. and go home.


I agree with this but if your not comfortable being around your ex have a good friend of yours that you trust and can be tell the differace bewteen sober and high. But I still don't know that I would do it.

Sarah - posted on 10/09/2009

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Tell your husband that he can see your son, but he has to be sober during the visit and then remain with the two of them the entire time. If your husband shows up under the influence of drugs, then simply take A.J. and go home.

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