Is she my friend or foe

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I have a friend whom whenever I tell her something in regards to my child she always gives negative feedback and even often says harsh things. Like my son had an issue w/his schl whereas the schl states he has to walk home and my house is 1mile and he is the only child on our end of the street but a bus comes down the other end but he cant ride it. My friend was like he's big enough to walk by himself. (Yes true he is 9yrs and weigh 134lbs, but that was downright ugly for her to say) Now whenever she tells me something about her child and I tell her something she deems negative she gets defensive and wants to pick an argument. So she told me whenever she says she is coming to someone house they ask if her child is with her. (Im like i wonder why) So I told her maybe if you discipline your child more you wldnt have issues w/ppl not wanting you to bring your child. She got mad and was like whatever why is everyone telling me what I need to do w/my child? What the best way to let her now that her child is not angel and im not saying mine is a saint but if you want to give me advice allow me to give you advice as well.

4 Comments

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Catherine - posted on 08/23/2009

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My experience is to not tell her that her kid sucks. Hahaha, she sounds like she's already totally insecure about her parenting skills so telling her she's a failure of a mom would probably end in her blowing up in your face. She is probably giving you advice because she wants to put a cover on her own insecurity. I wouldn't keep someone like that around simply because I get annoyed with people who give unsolicited advice (my mother has a huge problem with trying to tell me how to raise my kids). You should also probably keep in mind that people are bugging her with unsolicited advice about raising her kid too. Basically people, (especially mothers) get very defensive when others judge their mother skills. So they tend to blow situations out of proportion. I hope this helps.

Amanda - posted on 08/23/2009

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That seems extremely stressful... If she is really your friend than you should be able to say anything... I do with my friends and their kids and vice versa. If you can't speak your mind than maybe she is just an equatence and not a real friend which is alot easier for you when you make your decision...

[deleted account]

To be totally honest I would drop her like an old worn out hat! If all she can do is be negative and yet has issues with her own child, you certainly don't need any of that.



You can be nice and explain that if she is going to be like that and cannot keep her child in control when your together then its time you found another friend, or she can be a little more nice and work things out.



Having someone so negative around isn't really a good thing and can hurt you in the long run (Ive seen good people hit rock bottom because of one negative person in their life) if you cant work things out try to find someone else who can be there for friendship and support.

Sarah - posted on 08/23/2009

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i'd bite my tongue when it comes to her child. She'll find out when her little angel is older and in trouble and yours isnt that wow you really are a good mom and she really should have done a lot more to help her kid get on the right path!

if she is rude about your kiddo, i'd kindly tell her i dont appreciate her being rude and if thats how its going to be then maybe you shouldnt talk about your kids together at all .. harsh, but maybe itll get through to her! let her know you like her as a person but your parenting views and values are wayy different and if she isnt going to be supportive then you dont want her help!

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