Its just me and my son at home. Im lonely

Tasiana - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 31 moms have responded )

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I am living in Houston Tx with the father of my son. I have one family member out here but she is a teacher and has started school already. I just started my online education today and i wish my boyfriend was here to handle my son while i am in class for an hr. Dont get me wrong i love my son and wouldnt trade him for the world but i just wish i saw my boyfriend more. He works 10am to 10pm and when he gets home i feel like a little puppy happy to his owner because i just start talking and following him because i missed him so much. Its like im on house arrest. I dont care about being home and taking care of him and my son but i just wish i had my family to come by and see me or have a car to visit my aunt at school or just go to Borders to just get out of the house, I already was in the house for 6 mths bc i was pregnant and stopped working after 3 months but now im like damn i just want a FRIENDS.I do ask my man to go to my aunts every blue moon but i just feel like he thinks im going to do something or im scared he is going to have someone over. since we already have some trust issues i dont want anything suspect to happen. Anybody having the same problem

31 Comments

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Tasiana - posted on 09/02/2010

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I cant drive my hubbys car either bc its a old school and has mechanial problems

Tasiana - posted on 09/02/2010

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The only problem i have right now is not having a car. My mom is moving out here this month n gettin a car so i wont be stuck in this house for long. i have to get out and then we r moving at the end of october so i cant wait and will b picking the apt i like lol

Faith - posted on 08/30/2010

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I went through this when we moved bases to here and the nearest anything besides walmart is like 70 miles away. However I found this website, its meetup.com and you can put in your zip code and find a mothers group somewhere near by. I know you mentioned you didn't have a car, but maybe if you find a playgroup around you could just drop your bf off for work on those days you want to do something. Its worth a shot anyway, I know I was going insane after 4 months of very little human contact.

Karen - posted on 08/30/2010

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I have the same problem right now too. haven't been able to drive my van for 3 months now. I cant drive my hubby's cuz it's stick shift. Plus he'd never let me anyway. And Walmart is my favorite place too cus it's about the only place I get to go too. lol. He thinks I'm wierd for wanting to spend half the day there. heck even just putting jeans/ tshirt to go to walmart remindes me of the feeling I get when I used to get all dressed up to go to a nice steakhouse or something lol. hang in there. Things are bound to get better someday.

Valynn - posted on 08/30/2010

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Tasiana - I am a stay at home mom who also lives in Houston. Trust me, i totally understand how you feel. My husband works from 4a.m. to 4 p.m. and when he gets home its almost always straight to the room to take a nap, then he gets up to play with our son. I have learned to just get up and go by myself since everyone else works, or has plans. Get the car for a day and take your baby to the zoo, or the childrens museum, they have the "tot spot: upstairs that is great for babies and tummy time. Althought at 7 weeks just sitting at home with mommy is the best thing. There are parks and many different places that are kid friendly. I dont know what your income staus is but there are baby gym classes at the little gym and also reading groups for kids at every library in houston. My husband doesnt go with us many places cause he is always working or he wants to chill at home. I understand that he works hardm, but we need time too. See if your aunt can watch the baby, or try taking your baby with you. This is a great city full of things for you to do. All you have to do is get up and go! This heat is no joke so just keep that baby safe. We stay home till dusk now, let the sun go down alittle unless the place will be closed. Send me a message if you need anymore info. What side of town are you on and I can send you more specific info.

Nanci - posted on 08/30/2010

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well i felt the same way several times.. im married but sweperated for a while... he doesnt want the family anymore.. but when i felt like crap but knew both my boys were tired of being cooped up in the house i went to the park.. we enjoy the walk and ther are stay at home moms there who probneed a friend as well... i found alot of my good friends that way.. its a group thig we do together... i enjoy it n we moms can go crazy together while the kids play...lol.. we luv it..n i dont feel lonely at all.. i ca live with out a man in my life cuz i have my kids..n they r my whole life...

Tasiana - posted on 08/29/2010

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Laura i would go talk to someone around my apartment but they all speak spanish so that doesnt work lol

Tasiana - posted on 08/29/2010

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Charmaine, I do agree. I sit and think of different things and i drive myself crazy. and ill have to call my mom to get my mind back bc my thoughts will drive me crazy. I went to my aunts this weekend and it felt so good so i told myself im going to go either every other weekend or every weekend. and finally just not be scared and what is meant will happen

Carly - posted on 08/29/2010

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Same! Well.. almost. I moved miles away from all I knew to support my hubs career, thus making me extremley lonely in the process. My son is 9 months old and I love him with all my heart but sometimes you need a bit of coversation that's not babble talk. Haha! I joined an excercise class, went to mother & children groups and met friends. Im not so lonely anymore :D

Tara - posted on 08/28/2010

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I see where you are coming from, I am also a stay at home ma, my daughter is 7 and my son is almost 3, my husband is always gone, he is in the military, he is currently gone for 3 weeks! I also do online college, I am shooting for my bachelors degree in Health Care Administration, I am about 2 yrs from getting my degree. I see where you are coming from, I am lonely during the day and when my hubby gets home from work I am always wanting to be with him, it is normal, dont beat youreslf up for that!

Theresa - posted on 08/28/2010

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at least yours gots a job oh and btw i feel the same way except for the puppy part lol im always home i can never get out cuz were so far from town i have no car its just me and my daughter and her brother soon i feel so traped you have no idea and i recently enrolled in a school that is a fu**ing scam just more to add on to my stress hope this made you feel a lil bit better if you ever need to tlk message me

Nicole - posted on 08/28/2010

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i agree with laura..i do live in an apartment complex and even in the parking lot i would take my daughter out and stroll her around even when she was 2 months old!
and she has ablinism ! where the sun is almost like poison to my daughter( unless she has sunblock ) sunblock is meant for babies 6 months and over but in special cases as my daughters we were told the best choices are titanium and zinc oxide based sunblocks. neutrogena baby is one of them we were told was ok for the smaller ones =) as they are safest for smaller kids because many sunblocks are not tested on those under 6 months.

i see the problem living off the free way though. i probably would not walk to our mall even though its not off a free way its just there is a lot of traffic by our mall and crossing the street just to get there would be hectic. but i really do suggest taking a stroll. im guilty of not doing it every day because i fall into the hands of depression and get the why bother feeling.

i think cheating isnt what you should be worried about with out proof either. i will admit if my SO wanted to it would be so easy for him to do so. the only thing consistent about his job is the time he leaves in the morning all he would have to do is say that it was a late day. but so far no reason to not trust him he comes home moody because of his job and some time the guys he works with are being complete D. bags to him.

[deleted account]

If you stay in the house all the time you are going to go NUTS......Get a stroller and take a walk . If you live in a apartment complex I am sure there are people in the complex that have kids and you can make friends that way. And to avoid the heat Just walk in the morning or early afternoon.....

Josephine - posted on 08/27/2010

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I say you need to deal with the trust issues, that way y'all can both feel comfortable with you getting out the house!!!

Charmaine - posted on 08/27/2010

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Yes i agree he should be man enough to tell you... but do you think that maybe sitting around at home being lonely all the time when he is at work is making you think and be more paranoid then you should be? Cause i know when i am sitting at home bored and lonely I am always like what if he is cheating (even though he is sitting on a rig full of men lol) sometimes when your left alone and all you have is your thoughts they can drive you crazy... why not join a mommy and me group and everything... and he is the father of your child so you should give him the benefit of the dout... he could have changed now, maybe he has manned up? I dont know him so i dont know... but its best to say "innocent until proven guilty". although u have had problems people can change and if he does love you then he will change... and maybe when he comes home u think he doesnt recognize you but maybe he is just tired for being at work all day? Just follow your heart but I think you really need to get out of the house bf you make some bad decision... i know i go crazy sitting at home, i get super bitchy and i ended up taking my bordom out on my man haha

Tasiana - posted on 08/27/2010

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Charmaine i guess i feel if hes gonna cheat he needs to be man enough to let me leave and just do his own thing i dont need to be here. im greatful he comes home but if he comes home and doesnt recognize me whats the point of being here, and i am not a patient person when it comes to this because we have had problem so its either we r gonna b happy or apart.

Tasiana - posted on 08/27/2010

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Brittany i have talked to him but he just said we r doing what we need to do now to get by or he just shakes his head and says i dont know. and i just havent really got the time to just relax or just let it b me and him and sometimes i just cry and cry. and have no clue why. i started school wednesday so i hope i can jsut be busy with that. i just dont want to lose us ya kno

Charmaine - posted on 08/27/2010

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at least your man comes home! my man works out of town on the oil rigs (he's an engineer) so i barely seem him... I am also a student (full time) but I have my son in daycare. You do know that if your man is going to cheat he is going to cheat regardless if your home or not.. he is gone 12hrs he could go cheat on his lunch break... so stop worrying about it, get out of the house and smile and be happy.. being locked up isnt going to make you happier and isnt going to prevent cheating.

Brittaney - posted on 08/27/2010

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Wow! Girl I felt the same way! My boyfriend went to work from 1-9:30 and I use to feel so lonely. I even got postpartum depression just crying for no reason. All my family members live in Birmingham, Alabama and im in Montgomery, Alabama. Now I attend Alabama State University and now Im not bored. Instead, Im always busy with the baby and with my boyfriend. Cleaning the house and on top of that homework. I just wish he can understand more that im in school and at least watch the baby more. I love my baby and him but its hard taking care of two babies! LMBO!! but I feel where you coming from and you are not alone. Just talk to your boyfriend and see if yall can come up with a schedule that works for the both of you.

Tasiana - posted on 08/27/2010

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Ann my bf he just started helping me in the middle of the night with my newborn. Its like a good step but now i need us to have our time. esp when we have to get his kids for the weekend so its like our time isnt gonna happen then he goes back to work. and by the time he gets a day off we r mad at each other bc of something else and one of us has to swallow our pride which is always me.

Tasiana - posted on 08/27/2010

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I am near a mall but getting there is the problem i live right off the freeway thats to dangerous to walk a newborn esp with texas drivers they can drive.

Tasiana - posted on 08/27/2010

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Tah. I would love to find a place but the hardest part is getting there.I cant have my son in this Texas heat. But im going to try to see if my aunt can get me for a night just to get out. I spend most of my time on the computer and i know my bf looks at me like im doing something guilty but hey im bored. I also hate when he gets home and i need his attn like bad but his whole attitude just shut my spirit down. Then when i do try to tell him how i feel he comes at me like its a debate like when havent i showed u attn or defend myself. and its like why does it always have to be that. its like im talking to a wall.

Nicole - posted on 08/26/2010

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omg im not the only one that gets excited about going to the store! my bf told me i was weird for just wanting to go to the super walmart across the street just to walk around. we went there just for cheese the other day and it turned into a 1 hour trip because i didn't really want to come home.



trust me i did yell at some kids...i would have marched right into the management office and complained about the pool attendant not doing her job had it not been after hours.=(



are you near a mall? some malls have a family club like the one by us and they host some free events and some buy one get one free deals at participating retailers every month we do those kinds of things together



sadly kids do not play together till they are about 2-3 yrs early ages they will play sitting next to another however they do not interact much. =/



like a previous mother stated you can Google a mom and child group...but id suggest searching the local libraries or maybe a community college first as they may be closer meeting areas. Google might send you all the way though Texas half way to Georgia.



btw i spend a lot of time on COM because i get really bored. especially when all the chores are done and my daughters asleep or playing /doing her own thing. im guilty of spending a lot of my free time on the computer for lack of activities and in this i have found myself full of the most random knowledge i bet i could win trivial pursuit a million times over.

Anna - posted on 08/26/2010

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yea..i have that problem..my boyfriend sleeps most of the day cause he works from 10pm to 6:30am and doesnt get home til 7am and taking care of my 4 1/2 month old son..takes alot from me cause he's teething and fighting sleep cause he doesnt feel good and i felt alone and i talked to my boyfriend about my feelings and he missed me just as much..since we had that talk sometimes he doesnt go to sleep til 5pm so that we can have family time...so my suggestion to you is talk to him bout how your feeling..it worked for me...and i feel so much better..i start online school monday and he said he's going to do as much as he can before work and he'll be there for my son and i on his days off...so try talking to him...good luck to ya.,.

Tah - posted on 08/26/2010

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google mommy groups in tx..whatever area you are in...or playgroups..just cause your baby isnt running around doesnt mean you cant go..its also for moms to get out of the house, and you can look around on COM...heck..start your own comminity on here..stay at home moms in such and such texas and i bet you'll find many moms, shoot they might live around the corner...

Tasiana - posted on 08/26/2010

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Kylie i do talk to him about it but his response is well that what we have to deal with right now bc of are financial situation and he does say go to my aunts house for a night but he has two other kids and he gets them on the wkends so i have to watch them on sat when he works and he gets off aroudn 7 or 8 so my aunt is either about to go out or isnt going to drive 45 mins to get me. so im stuck once again

Tasiana - posted on 08/26/2010

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Nicole, im glad im not alone with this, my apts has 4 pools but i am not taking my son out there ill have to yell at a lil kid if they splashed water at my son. I get happy as hell when he or i have a drs appt or me n my bf have to go to walmart bc im finally getting out of the house. i dont know how to act bc im finally out.

Tasiana - posted on 08/26/2010

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TAH, my son is 7 wks old he isnt goin to play with anyone for awhile, and my bfs car is a old chevy caprice that i would not drive bc it has mechanical problems trust me if i could i would. how do i find a playgroup online what would i search? when my mom moves down here n gets a car i will b at borders doin my work just to get out. ive tried to walk at least once or twice a day just to get out, but when he gets home late i try to spend time first with him then its to late to go walking.

Nicole - posted on 08/25/2010

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wow you just explained my day to day life. i had to sell my car to help us move to our current location. i stay home all day long and yes i follow my SO around the house.some times he gets frustrated with me because he wants some time to himself and he cant really get it.

i go nowhere...except my daughters doctor appts. i lucked out because out current apt now has a swimming pool so i can do that but it gets old and especially when older kids splash your 5 month old in the face wiht water repeatedly.

i too lost my job when i was about 2-3 months pregnant. i was really sick and in the bathroom more then being on the phone as a CSR making the company money. my mom now lives about 40 min or more away and no one ever comes over. i have been in search of a mother child play group. i finally started going back to church because i found one i liked in our new area. so Sundays wont be too bad. but i lose my mind talking to a baby that cant talk back to me yet.

[deleted account]

have you talked to him about lonely you feel? you might be suprise that he may feel a similar way. also if you want to make friends try and find a mothers group, esp if they have kids the age of your son. I live far from my family to, i know what you mean.

Tah - posted on 08/25/2010

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so..and i always read between the lines..theres always something there...you are going to keep your self a prisoner for over 12 hours a day because you dont want him to have someone over.....so we are agreed that it doesnt help you okay..okay..now..you need to find a playgroup online and maybe once or twice a week drop him off at work..put that baby in a stroller, get his toys, go to borders, get a book you want and sit with him in the childrens area and read while he plays, and go around naptime with his stroller and he will sleep, you get a latte and do some work, find some friends, do u have neighbors..get to know the ones with children your baby's age and maybe some older ones whose grandkids are states away..they love kids and love to babysit...you all could trade off or have playdates....i have 3..i work more than one job and i take classes online and on campus, you have to have time to yourself and you have to have some independence....i wish you the best...

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