Jealousy

Leilana - posted on 07/26/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hey all, i need ur help please. since i gave birth to my daughter 2 months ago my 4 yr old has started throwing things at me,punching, pushing and yelling at me. My back is full of bruises and i'm at my wits end. When he does something wrong i send him to his room where he screams for 20 mins comes out says sorry then 10 mins later he's doing it again. Advice please???

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Kassie - posted on 07/26/2009

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You just need to include him as much as possible. It was just him and mommy for 4yrs and now there's a baby tha demand so much attention...attention that he used to get. If he feels like he is an important part in taking care of the new baby a lot of the jealousy will stop. Also see if you can get a babysitter for the baby just for an hour or two so you and him can do something fun together.

[deleted account]

I think he is needing some extra "mommy time". Could you possibly plan an activity (such as coloring, playing with play-doh, etc) that just you and your little boy could do, maybe while the baby is napping? Or do you have someone who could watch the baby while you take your little boy on an outing to the park or for a walk? I went through a little bit of this when my second child was born and I found that when I carved out just a little more time for the first child, that things were ALOT easier. Also, we bought our first child a "baby" that she took care of when I was taking care of the second child. It helped also. So while I was feeding the second child, I would tell her to go get her baby and feed her baby or while I was changing a diaper, I would tell her to get her baby and change her babies diaper. Also, encourage your son to help with his new sister. And just remember, it will not be like this forever!! I hope this helps!!

Brandi - posted on 07/26/2009

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Oh goodness! I am about to be in the same boat, I'm expecting in January and my son is about to turn 4 soon. I can imagine your frustration! Perhaps his jealousy is because he feels that the new baby is stealing all of the spotlight and his acting out is solely for attention. Somehow you have to make time to give him your undivided attention and give him positive reinforcement. When he gets in trouble, always explain to him what he did wrong and try redirecting him to proper behavior. Maybe having him be your special helper with the new baby will help boost his confidence and give him some sense of involvement. He might feel excluded right now and he needs to be reassured that he's not being replaced. I can only imagine the way my son may start acting to get attention. I plan to keep him and my stepson as involved as possible, but I'll also have to make time for just them -- maybe when the hubby takes over for a little bit or during a nap. I wish you luck! Stay positive, it's temporary. :o)

Valerie - posted on 07/26/2009

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do you let him help in any part of taking care of the baby i think that might help like help hold the bottle or help with a bath or something small that might change some of the jealousy hes having i hope this works for you

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