Just Don't Feel appreciated in my House

Tiny - posted on 07/23/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm 38 years old I been with my husband for 15 years and I have a 13 year old son and I just feel like they don't appreciate me or the things I do. Do anybody else feel like that sometimes from their family?

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Chet - posted on 07/30/2014

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Sometimes people don't appreciate what you do because they don't see it as necessary, and because you really are doing it for yourself to some extent. If your son and husband have a higher tolerance for clutter than you, are perfectly happy wearing wrinkled clothing, and would be just as happy eating a peanut butter sandwich as a hot meal than they will never appreciate cleaning, ironing and cooking as much you think they should. You need to look at the situation carefully and figure out if you're going that extra mile for yourself because you have higher standards.

Sometimes people do take things for granted. Often this comes down to routines and to communication. You're doing the jobs you've always done, and other don't know you feel unappreciated. It's just how the division of labour worked out. It's fine to let people know that you feel unappreciated. Not in a critical way, in a genuine, "I'm telling you what I need" sort of way.

Sometimes too, people don't appreciate what you do because they don't know enough about what you do. If you've taken over certain household task, done a good job at them, and made them look easy, it's hard for other to fully appreciate what you do. And in this case, it can really help to involve others in the jobs that you do... but you need to be patient, because they might not be nearly as good at them as you are.

Lindsay - posted on 07/30/2014

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Hi! Im 30 and have only been married for a year and a half (together for 6 years) and we have a 10month old and I have a 9 year old step son. I too feel the same way at times. I feel as if I do 98% of the work at home (I'm a SAHM) and for the kids, my hubby just pays the bills and goes about life as he normally would. He relaxes and does stuff he wants but I get no breaks. I don't think he intentionally does this, I just think he feels he works to pay the bills and assumes I can handle the rest. He's 31 and still plays video games to relax, instead of hanging with his family relaxing. Frustrating!!!

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