Just found out Im pregnant and dont know what to do.

Jennifer - posted on 06/30/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Hello,

Im 23 and just found out Im pregnant yesterday. The father wants nothing to do with it;Im not even with him anymore. He wants me to take the abortion pill. I dont feel right doing it but I cant afford this either. Im telling my mother today. Im wondering if anyone has an opinions or thoughts...Maybe regrets? or Ideas to help me make this choice?

Im feeling really lost and cant sleep. I dont want to put this baby for adoption either because I think Ill want to keep it if I go through 9 months of binding.

Please help me.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Elisha - posted on 07/22/2012

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Honey, you're 23, not 15. You're a grown woman, sweetie. The father has no right to demand that you abort your baby. You can do this. There is nothing in the world like being a mommy, trust me. You have everything you need to care for that precious little baby, and it will be the happiest, most demanding, most wonderful thing in the world you could ever do. My suggestion would be, love, to put on your big girl pants and get excited and enjoy that precious little bundle. You won't be without support, hon.

Meaghan - posted on 07/22/2012

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Never go the abortion route. You are a grown woman who had sex you need to deal with everything that goes along with that- unfortunetly Men don't few sex that way they just want to have it and don't think of the consequences they say adios and see you later-they will regret it later in life not to have seen their child but when you are in your twenties you are invinsible. Achild should never be thought of as a curse but a gift from GOd. Do you know how many couples out there can't get pregnant and would love to adopt a healthy child and give it a loving home. They are ready for a child have the money and you could give them no better gift. I knew a woman when I was younger who had two abortions before she got married. After she got married she couldn't get pregnant again and ended up adopting a child from China. Think of these couples that really want a baby. Talk to Catholic Charities about it - we had two preganant woman live with us before they gave their babies up for adoption-I kept congratulating them on the life they were brining into this world and how unselfish they were for giving life rather than taking a life. I would be interested to hear what you mom said.

Kendra - posted on 07/02/2012

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Im 22 @i have 3 little boys. I would never have even considered abortion. There are sp many people and places to help young mothers. You had sex. It is your responsibility.

Brittany - posted on 06/30/2012

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Hi Jennifer,

I'm sorry your in such a predicament. Depending on where you are from there are many social services here in canada that can help. Free healthcare will ensure you get an abortion if that is the route you choose. I know here, there are no pills to take once you are far enough along to get a positive test, you would actually have to go in for day surgery.

I've gone both routes. I became a mother at the age of 17, and had an abortion at 18. I love my son dearly and now that he is here, I would never consider the idea of aborting his pregnancy. However, due to my circumstances, I am not regretful that I had one at 18. It was the best choice for me and my little family at the time. I also don't think I could give a child up for adoption. I think I would have regretted that decesion although I'm sure there are women who are content with there situation and adoption.

Are you considering raising the baby? Are you secure, working, educated? Ready to take on the lifetime obligation?

Talk with your mother, and hopefully she will be supportive no matter which route you take.

I wish you well, I know time like this can be extremally challenging. Weigh all your options, and choose carefully. In canada we have planned parenthood, and also Home of the guardian angel (the later being more opt to pressure adoption) Both can help you in making a decesion.
If the father is not willing to cooperate, you need to make this decesion yourself. The same way you will need to make many should you choose to have the baby as a single mother.

Please feel free to email me if you want unbiased advice, some people on this site are very sensitive to the topic of abortion - which I do understand, however being on the other side of the fence, I also can understand the need. Take care Jennifer.

19 Comments

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Chatwattie - posted on 02/03/2013

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Having a baby takes a lot of patient and you will need all the help you can get. If you have all of that especially support from your mom and family you will do just fine. Having a baby is a beautiful gift and it will pay off in the future. Just make sure the father does his part by paying child support,don't let him off easy it takes 2 to make a baby and your gonna get the hardest part of the job like every mother.

Patricia - posted on 02/02/2013

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Elisha Baker-BEAUTIFUL Response :)
I couldn't have said that better myself :D
No need for me to add anything to an EXCELLENT and God Inspired Response ♥

Sasha - posted on 07/29/2012

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I agree with Chrissy P. Take a deap breath and relax (as much as you can). I know its a scary feeling being so out of controll. But, you will know the right thing for you once you can breath a bit better. Honestly, I am never for abortion. I was adopted. But....you just need a little break and can tackle this when you are a bit calmer. Best of luck dear!

Chrissy - posted on 07/29/2012

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Hey Hun, first of all you need to sleep and have a nice glass of herbal tea. This is a big decision to make and it should be done with rested mind and body. I pray your mother is supportive of you in all choices you make. If adoption is not an option for you and you dont feel right about abortion then i think you may already have your answer. There are sooo many places that are out there to help you, I know because i am an RN and i routinley help people find the social services as well as charity services and counseling groups they need. There is so much support out there for you, you may not know it yet but there are people out there that want to see you succeed and become a wonderful mother. I wish you the best of luck and i hope you keep us posted on your progress

Stevie - posted on 07/29/2012

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I'm anti-abortion just because I know they're millions of people out there who want children, but can't have them, carry them, etc. I think if you go into this know your going to give it up for adoption, it'll be easier. I mean it's not going to be easy, a bond with a child is like no other. But don't abort him/her, they did nothing wrong. And it's always best to have someone who understand and who will be there for you every step of the way, like a mom or a friend. If you decide that you want to keep him/her, then they're tons of help out there. Good luck! ♥

[deleted account]

The place I was thinking of is just called crisis pregnancy centers Google that for your state and something should come up. I believe they help with pregnancy and after the baby comes.

Deborah - posted on 07/28/2012

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Adoption! Please! There are thousands of people who would LOVE to give this child LOVE and a wonderful life and everything he/she could dream of. I never got to have a child of my own and so I have been a Foster parent for 6 years to 7 children of varied lengths of stay. Some people never get the gift of children. If you are not ready for motherhood, please consider giving thiw gift to someoen who is in a positon to care for this little one. If your Mom has issues over this, contact me. I would be happy to help you..I'm in Maryland. Deb

[deleted account]

Open adoption is a huge gift to both you and your unborn. There is a MAJOR difference in adoption and abortion. By choosing adoption your child will know you and still have a life that he/or she will thrive. Adoption is not easy but it is a life savor and gift to many.

Christina - posted on 07/13/2012

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Nicola, I would def. have to disagree with you. I know everyone has their own opinions but there's a big difference between having an abortion which is ending the life of your precious baby & adoption which is giving your precious baby the opportunity to be placed in a loving home.

Christina - posted on 07/13/2012

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I suggest adoption. There are lots of people out there that can't have babies that would love to adopt.

Nicole - posted on 07/02/2012

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I had my first baby at 20.... i remember feeling exactly the way you do now. Scared, unsure, overwhelmed. When i told my parents they were less then thrilled but at the mere suggestion of the dreaded a words my step father would hear none of it. I knew in my heart i would never be able to give my baby up once i had gone through with the pregnancy. As for dad, you dont need him to be there.... there are plenty of good men out there who will gladly take on the responsibilities of raising a child with you. It may take a while to find him but he does exist. I would not change a thing. I was in a place where i just couldn't afford it. But 7 years later we are in a bit of a better place i have two other children and a loving husband who loves those babiea unconditionally. Take it day by day and never feels ashamed to ask for help. As a member of the workforce you pay into these programs. Let them help you and give back when you can. Good luck and no matter how scared you are now: congratulations. Let your heart lead you. Love will keep you strong and let pepple help when they offer.

Amanda - posted on 07/02/2012

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This is a big decision to make! If the only reason you are thinking about abortion is because you think you cannot afford the child, then look into assitance programs for single mothers. There is food stamps, WIC, HEAP, there are child care programs and health care programs. There are alot of things out there to help single moms. If it was me personally, I couldn't get an abortion. That is a life inside me that I would regret the abortion for the rest of my life. Adoption is a possibility, therefore giving the child a loving home (more than likely to parents who cant have kids for whatever reason). You are the only one in the end that can make this decision - depending on your area there might be councelors to help you decide. Good luck to you on this!

Nicola - posted on 07/02/2012

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To me there is no difference between abortion and adoption. You give the child up in both cases. I'm 24 with 2 kids andI have a supportive husband which makes all the difference!
Keep the baby if it makes you happy but remember that your social, work and any new relationships take second place to your baby for the rest of your life! Even if you have a support network it is not their responsibility to raise your child.
I know so many women who are despirate to have a baby but can't conceive even with IVF. You could consider an open adoption where you get updates and photos and, depending on the adoptive parents, a role in their life so it doesn't have to be such a regret in your life. It may be the best option to take if you can't physically care for them the way another couple could.
You have a big decision to make but if you don't want an abortion you may end up regretting it more than adopting you precious baby out.

Danielle - posted on 06/30/2012

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Only you can make that decision, and only you will be the one who has to live with that decision the rest of your life.I don't know where you live but many states will offer you emotional and financial help look into what you are offered based on your area maybe that will help you decide.

[deleted account]

I can't remember what it's called right now but there are places that will help you if you decide to keep the baby. I believe that they will help with medical expenses during the pregnancy and with diapers, formula, possibly cloths for after it comes.

I don't know if it means anything to you but I will pray for you and just know that there are places out there that can help you. I'm going see if I can find what they are called.

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