Lazy ass worthless M'fer!!!! ADVICE PLEASE

Jenny - posted on 04/26/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My bf and I have a 2month old together and we live together. Problems is he is so disrespectful!! He constantly calls me degrading names. It's an ever day thing with the name calling its just ridiculous! He has no intention on getting a job. All he does is spend time on Facebook and text his "friends". He has no car. He just has nothing! Honestly he's getting me to the point I just hate him. My dumbass is still here because he is a good daddy. daddy mean I do everything bathe her, get up at night, change, everything. But it makes me so happy to see her smiling because he plays with her. I never knew my dad so I feel it necessary for her to have her father around. But I just can't handle the abuse or the lazyness. I known I should leave but I still need advice on how to go about me leaving#

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User - posted on 04/29/2013

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yea do you think there could be any chance of him changing? I think you should try your best to keep a healthy relationship expecially for your baby. But You do not need him disrespecting you all the time and your baby doesnt either. Have you all tried any type of therapy? I hope that something will trigger him to change, but if he doesnt, its just not healthy for you and your baby to be around someone ike that. You only have one life to live and you need to make the best of it and for a baby, shes just starting out, she doesnt deserve that life. Do what is best for your family.Maybe you can do a test run and leave with the baby for a week or two and have no contact with him. Maybe that could be a wakeup for him.
If you feel that you can still have something in your relationship and theres something inside of you that does want to make it work, dont give in quickly (dont take none of his stuff either) try your best to work as a team and try to make things better. Together try consulting others with your issues, do therapies, have several sit down talks with him to make him understand your ultimatum. Hope the best for you and your family!

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/23/2013

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My husband use to say mean things when he got angry. He grew up thinking it was normal and when he saw how hurt it made me , he really put effort into changing his attitude. I knew he loved me though but had a problem controlling his temper. If you feel your boyfriend honestly loves you then instead of responding with more name calling tell him how much it hurts when he says mean things. If he had the attitude like he doesn't care if he's hurting you then it's probably time to leave the relationship. Tell him you tried explaining to him what you needed from him in order to have a happy relationship and he didn't care to put in the effort .

Ceatana - posted on 05/23/2013

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Look I dealt with this so many times you need to leave him because those tyoe of people never change it just gets worse but leaving isnt gonna be easy ge reminds me of my first 2 kids father I tried to leave he said not with my daughter so you leave when he's gonelook your daughter doesn't need a father who doesn't do anything to help better her life if he really cared and loved her he'd change but as many times as you tell men that they dont I know at first itll be hard but you'll be happier I was.now if things get bad and you cant leave or her starts threating you if your not married you have all the parental rights even if he signed the birthcertificate he still has to prove paternity so if he starts up with trying to threaten you go get an injunction in the best interest of you child it'll last a year

Shannon - posted on 05/03/2013

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I dealt with this with my kids' father too. Hopefully you don't have to get out the way I did, and that was leave him after he got arrested for his fourth domestic dispute with ANOTHER woman. But honestly, it gets to a point where you just throw your hands in the air and say "I'm done." I'd suggest doing it as mature as possible. Sit him down, tell him that you're leaving and do NOT let him convince you otherwise. If you're starting to hate him, the relationship is already over.

Amy - posted on 05/02/2013

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First off, "lazy ass," "worthless," "mother effer..." Are these names that you call him to his face, or are they reserved solely for use behind his back? You have to earn respect, outs not automatically given. If you are saying these like this to him, you're being just as abusive as he is. He is not legally your spouse, so, yeah, it's easy to just walk out, but a child is forever. It's not just playing house. No matter what you decide to do now, you will ALWAYS be connected to him because you brought a life into this world together.

I was in your situation once, and if I had just stuck through it a few more years, yearsI could've spared my daughter the heartbreak of living in 2 separate houses, 2 separate sets of rules, 2 separate lives.

You sound young. Start changing your attitude toward your boyfriend. Be kind even when he doesn't deserve it. Encourage him to be something. Respect him even when he doesn't respect you. And stick it out. Having children in a "young" relationship where thou haven't had years to get to know each other & get used to each other's quirks is difficult, but if you stick it out and change your attitude y toward him, it might change his attitude toward you, and things might get better.

Only you can decide how long you're willing to put up with it, and you might want to make a deal with yourself to say, "Ok. I'm going to behave better toward him, and if he doesn't start to show me that he can change, to, then I'm going to be done in x amount of time."

Jay - posted on 04/28/2013

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before you leave him, figure out if he can be fixed. give him a warning by having a sit down talk and telling him your intentions if he doesnt get his crap together. stick to your word. if he does not respond, kick him out. if you are unable to kick him out, move out and take the baby. sounds like he is young and needs to have his toys taken away before he can value them.

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2013

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Perhaps some counselling would help you with a bit more resilience to allowing yourself to be treated this way. You need to do at least that for your daughter.

Jenny - posted on 04/27/2013

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I guess me not leaving is by choice. Hoping he will treat me better and change. If I I've always been bad with relationships. Always had guy's treat me wrong and I stay. I'm clueless. I'm not sure I have the balls to leave and not come back or txt and call!

Jodi - posted on 04/26/2013

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A child can still have a father without you having to put up with his shit. Let's say you did decide to leave him? Unless you make the decision to deprive your child of a relationship with her dad (which would be very wrong), she will still have a father in her life.

Ask yourself this question. Do you want your daughter being treated the way you are being treated one day? or do you want more than that for her? Because you will be teaching her she has to put up with it if you accept it as it is right now. It sounds like he is not supporting you anyway at this point, so what are the issues with leaving right now?

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