Lazy, Spoiled children

Schollin - posted on 04/18/2009 ( 36 moms have responded )

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Okay, my son is 2 and I expect him pick up his toys, help out around the house, make his bed etc (of course I dont expect it to be perfect) and people keep expressing there concerns I'm too hard on him..



Seriously??? He doesn't seem to upset by it, today he even helped me pack(we're moving) and was soooo proud of himself telling me its a happy day , happy day. I'm sorry I dont want my child to grow up incapable of taking care of himself and its not like its hurting him in anyway.

These are the same people who are teaching there college bound children how to use a washer. I teach him how to do these things because thats what parents are suppose to do and I swear when my child moves out he'll know how to do laundry.

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Jamie - posted on 04/19/2009

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I totally agree, I am the same way with my children. I see how spoiled, lazy and disrespectful my step son is. The kid cant even get up and get his own cup on the counter 3 feet away. We are working on him but since we only have him on the weekends its hard. I refuse to have spoiled children who believe the world owes them something. I want them to have the attitude if they want something they need to get it themselves. We are even as bad as they arent allowed toys for thier bdays(we buy them one or 2 small toys or one large gift, my daughter got a power wheel last year). The grandparents and everyone are to get them savings bonds, this way when my kids turn 16 and are responsible enough they will have enough money to buy thier own car, or to save it for college. My kids are 2 and 3 and already have a couple thousand dollars in bonds. yes my children do have toys, quite a few actually, but thier future is just as important as the present and we need to be sure we are setting a solid foundation for them. My SS, his mom just lets everyone get him toys, yes he has all the latest gadgets and tons of toys but she will never be able to provide for himin his future and is more into spoiling him the teaching him how to be a man.

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Lorraine - posted on 04/21/2009

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Good on you!!! When I was growing up by time my sisters and I were 9 and 10 we could run the whole house(cooking, cleaning, washing-twin tub not automatic, ironing, etc) and do a lot of the farm work too. My mother was unwell and my father had a job so we just did it. My parents started teaching us to wash and dry (only the plastics for starters lol) when we were only 3 or so. Gradually we learnt other things. I sure am glad my mother taught us to work and I don't ever remember disliking her for making us clean and so on.

Now with mine who are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 they pack their toys and books away every night. The older one enjoys drying the dishes(plastics, cutlery, etc) and my younger one tries but it just doens't quite work but I aren't about to stop them. They help my put the shopping away and so on. I figure while they want to help why not teach them as much as I can as to them it is just a game. I've gotten some ideas of what more things I can teach them from you other ladies :)

Kristin - posted on 04/21/2009

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Good for you!!! Why wait until it becomes an issue to pick up. Now your son will grow up understanding that is what is expected of him and rather than argue about it, he will just know to do it. I agree with you entirely!!! And frankly I think that more people should take charge earlier in their children's lives when it comes to behavior instead of waiting until it becomes an issue!!! Your son will thank you someday!

[deleted account]

I think that is a great idea.

However my Mum did that to me, but made me clean up after my younger sister and brother (plus my parents). They are 5-6years younger then me.

My sister didn't have to start helping me with the household chores until she was 10 (and that was only drying dishes!!!).

Once I moved out,the household chores were then passed on to them.

My dad used to say "thats what kids are for".

Angela - posted on 04/21/2009

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My 16 month old loves to help mommy do her chores...she s so impressed with herself that she did a good job. The look on her face when she has accomplished such a task is so awesome! I have my rules too that she has to abide by (picking up her own toys at the end of a day) but I truly feel that it will instill some values into her. Too many kids have absolutely no respect for their toys or anyone else's and Im a firm believer that if you show them how to take care of your things and to pick up after yourself you are better preparing your child to be a productive citizen. You go girl!!! If your son enjoys it, down the road it will pay off ten fold

Kristen - posted on 04/21/2009

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Great work... I try to have my 20 month old help with picking up toys and taking care of things too

Bianca - posted on 04/21/2009

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making his own bed is extreme. u need to chill out and make him happy by playing with him instead of thinking he gets enjoyment from picking up after himself. he would see this as a form of play, your son will do his own washing when he moves out and probably also have obsessive compulsive disorder too if u are making him do things so extreme....my son is 2 also and capable of picking up after himself but as far as chores go his not forced into anything at his age its not necessary.

Shanna - posted on 04/21/2009

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I think your child will rise to whatever expectation you have of them. If you are consistant learning responsibility early will only make him more willing to help as he gets older. I have a two year old and she has a little chart that has some ways for her to help around the house. She gets a star on her chart each time she helps with a chore. I dont ground her if she doesnt do it but she likes getting her stars and really just likes helping mommy and daddy. She usually just helps feed the dogs, bring her laundry to the laundry room, and clean up her toys. As she gets older she will have more responibilities.

T_cjones108 - posted on 04/21/2009

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Quoting Sara:

You are doing his future wife a HUGE favor. :) If only my mother-in-law had that kind of foresight... :)



i really wish my mother inlaw would have done this with my hubby!! my boy is only 9 months right now but he will have chores like put laundry away make bed...ect...! i hate that he cant do laundy (well he can he just mixes colours and withes or shrinks stuff)! i think it makes them more indepentant later on in life!!! good for you and keep up the great work!! :)

Andrea - posted on 04/21/2009

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you are doing him a favour for when he is an adult.I have five children and 1 on the way and they all have there own little chores apart from my 10 month old,my children are 11,9,7,4 and 10 months can you imagine what my house would look like if they wasnt made to pick up after them or wot i would be like lol i would be running round like an headless chicken! my kids love to help out and they love the thought that they helped mummy i certanitly dont want my eldest son who is 11 to be a mummy's boy when he has left home i want him to help and treasure his future wife.i have friend that have grown up children and they wouldnt even know how to put a washing machine on or even load a dishwasher,and they are the most aggorant people i no they think the world owes them! i think you are doing a good thing for your child by doing some chores he will appretiate things more,be independant and be more loving when he finally leaves home and it wont harm him one bit he will thank you for it 1 day x

Holly - posted on 04/20/2009

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You are doing him and yourself a huge favor. You are already instilling in him the values that you have and it won't be such a struggle to get him to do these things when he is older. My twins will be 3 in a week and they help with the household chores. My daughter sets the table, they put their dirty dishes in the sink, they help empty and load the dishwasher, and I give them sponges and a bucket of water and they help me mop the floors. And the love to do it, I can hardly keep them out of the kitchen when i am cleaning or doing the dishes. Not to mention they love to help cook.
You just need to ignore when people give you unsolicited advice, and follow your own instincts, you are his mother and you know what is best for him.

Sarah - posted on 04/20/2009

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It's a good thing that you are teaching him at a young age to help pick up the toys & help you a little around the house. You aren't asking him to do anything major & if he's enjoying it, then why stop it? It will help him out in the long run.

Emily - posted on 04/20/2009

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Sounds like you are doing a great job! Just keep it fun for him. My kids loved picking their toys up and washing dishes, the floor, counters at age two. My six year old doesn't really like it anymore but she still knows how to put away her clothes and help out when I need it.

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2009

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Quoting Schollin:

Lazy, Spoiled children

Okay, my son is 2 and I expect him pick up his toys, help out around the house, make his bed etc (of course I dont expect it to be perfect) and people keep expressing there concerns I'm too hard on him..

Seriously??? He doesn't seem to upset by it, today he even helped me pack(we're moving) and was soooo proud of himself telling me its a happy day , happy day. I'm sorry I dont want my child to grow up incapable of taking care of himself and its not like its hurting him in anyway.
These are the same people who are teaching there college bound children how to use a washer. I teach him how to do these things because thats what parents are suppose to do and I swear when my child moves out he'll know how to do laundry.



Great Job!



My own mother wasn't hard enough on me, I knew how to do laundry and clean, but was never expected to do it. I can't stand how some parents let their kids walk all over them. My daughter is 2 and knows when she comes inside she takes her shoes off and puts them in her bin in the closet, She'll pick garbage up and throw it away, she puts her dishes in the sink when she's finished, she picks up her toys before she takes out a new one(most of the time), helps vaccuum (she has her own little one), and wipes down the coffee tables. If she spills she helps clean it up with a towel, and she also helps me cook... to some extent.



It's not being hard on them to give them responsibilities, its teaching them to be an active member of the family. She absolutely loves helping out, she see's mommy cleaning and wants to clean up too, I don't see anything wrong with that at all. Children need that kind of structure, two year olds especially crave it or they get out of hand.

Racheal - posted on 04/20/2009

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Keep up the good work. I was like that with my first child. She was a great little helper. And when you have a child that love to clean up after themselves you get so much more time that you can spend with them doing the things you enjoy doing together. It's a pity I didn't keep it up with her. Now she is 6 and has been spoilt. I let other peoples ideas and attitudes creep in and slowly she slipped away from that kind compassionate and helpful little girl she once was. Now I have 2 children, and am afraid to say I have not been consistent with their little chores, and now it's really hard to get them on track. So don't let anyone tell you anything different. Especially witht he age appropriate thing, how many 2 yr olds do you see trying to lay out a blanket on the floor or bed? If they can and will do something, let them. It makes everyones life easier when things are just done out of natural compulsion to do them, rather than having the age old fight about keepign rooms clean, putting rubbish in the bin or for heavens sake, go and get your drink off the table yourself. Thanks for giving our world one more responsible child. We need many more parents willign to do what you are doing with your son.

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2009

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Congradulations, You are helping him get started with his work ethic and teaching him how to be interdependent(how to help out and be helped out). the more we expect out of are children the more they expect out of them selfs. go you.

Schollin - posted on 04/19/2009

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Quoting Rachel:

I think thats totally awesome that youre doing that! It teaches them good habits early! Im sure he has his fun time, but sometimes are for work, and thats good as long as theres a good balance! I hope to do that with my son too.



  Exactly people automatically assume if you're young you don't know what you're doing. Yes I may be the mom that makes her kid work, but i'm also the mom that will spend hours on end playing GI Joes or hotwheels on the floor with my son and I'm the same mom that takes my kid to the park and plays on the swings and goes down the slide w/ him if he wants me too, I'm the mom that puts on music and whether i'm in my living room or out in my yard I will dance to it with him..(I never said I was mature, and yes my son does have friends his age he plays with by himself.):)

Tiffany - posted on 04/19/2009

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My 2.5 yr old does the same. He loves to help me clean up his toys (most of the time, lol) or pretend to vacuum. He loves to try to help me out, and he feels like such a big boy when he does.

I dont' think you're being too hard on him. Better than trying to instill these things in him when he's a rebellious teenager and it's too late!

Claire - posted on 04/19/2009

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I think it's the best thing to do. Instill it in them so when they get old it isnt a sudden chagne of pace. And lets face it if a kid is old enough to get a toy out im fairly sure they are old enough to put it away. I make sure my son (who is 3 v nearly 4) puts his toys away both in his room and in the playroom. I refuse to have kids that don't do things for themselves. Mums have enough to do without constantly picking up toys etc

Katie - posted on 04/19/2009

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I'm with you on this one. My daughter was 2 in December and she has chores and loves helping. I'm working on getting my 15 month old son on board with chores and he loves helping as well. My daughter clears her plate from the table when she is done eating (we started this chore when she was around 15 months old) , she takes it to the kitchen and empties her plate into the composter and puts her plate and fork in the dishwasher. She will then go and ask to help clear the table more. She is expected to but her dirty clothes in her laundry hamper and to put her toys away, among other things. She loves helping and is always trying to help with dishes and cook and clean. My son is just starting to clear his plate, although most of the leftover food is left in a trail towards the kitchen, he is still trying and learning that he needs to help. I feel it is our job as parents to teach our kids these things. The present generation of kids are lazy and lack any responsibility. Keep up the good work!

Josella - posted on 04/19/2009

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I say that if he enjoys helping out then you should stick to encouraging him to help out around the house. People will always have something to say whether you are doing something good or bad but the important thing is that you are his mother and you know what is best for him. Opinions and advice from others are very helpful but ultimately you are the final decision maker and you may not always take everyone's advice. That's just the way it is sometimes. I too am including my two children in helping out around the house and I am glad that I have done that. May I also say that it gives the children that responsibility piece that is very important.

Victoria - posted on 04/19/2009

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As long as your child is happy and not upset by what u ask him to do then i dont see a problem people spoil kids too much now a days and dont think to teach them life skills from a younger age which at the end of the day will only teach them independace

Gemma - posted on 04/19/2009

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Mine are so hit and miss on the helping out thing. I think your right they do need to learn to hlp and look after themselves a bit. It helps take the pressure off and quote often with tidying they quite enjoy it. My little one loves helping me sweep up he has his own broom, probably makes more mess to be honest but he enjoys it and it does him no harm.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2009

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If your son is happy doing it then why not? I have 3 kids of 6 and 3/4 (I musn't forget the 3/4 lol) 5 and 17 months and they have to help tidy up admittidly the youngest then messes it all up again but hey shes a baby! good luck to you like some1 else said everyone has an opinion but he is your child and as long as hes happy thats the main thing

[deleted account]

I do the same to my kids...don't feel bad...I am 28 years old have a 6 year old 24 month and 10 month old and am still spoiled because my mother waited on me hand and foot. She was Suzie home maker. So I still have a hard time w/ responsibilities like housework and getting things taken care of. I put myself through school when I had my daughter, I have a good job and work from home, I am driven...but when it comes to house work and cooking and getting shot records...I suck...I don't want my kids to go through what I still am at 28 three kids later. If you teach them to do things for themselves very young just like you are doing...they won't know any different. Until they go to a friends house that has a mom like my mother...but by that time you can explain to them your logic...especially with the dog eat dog world we live in now. You have to be a very motivated person to get by in our society now. Only the strongest survive.

Naomi - posted on 04/18/2009

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I have a very lazy, spoilt nine yr old now due to the fact that I didn't take on your approach to parenthood earlier! I admire the fact that you care for his future and well being and are doing something about it from day dot! I've just recently decided that I've had it, and finally taught my daughter how to use the washing machine and asked her to do more of the washing up and aiding in cooking dinner. The feeling of satisfaction and pride she getsafter she completes these simple daily tasks is wonderful. But because it has taken me so long to give her responsibilities around the house, it's always a fight to get her to start anything. I have a 1 and a 2 yr aswell, and i'll be damned if they grow up without the knowledge of basic living skills. Thnx for your post Schollin! Your boy will thank you when he's older :)

Lisa - posted on 04/18/2009

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I think its great! Learning to help others and take care of yourself are vital lessons for life! Kids love helping and feeling important and im teaching my toddlers how to do their bit and it becomes a normal way of life after awhile. I think its true that alot of kids are becoming lazy and are mummied too much...its not helping them in the long run as they end being too dependant on others and lookout for only themselves...just stick to what u feel is right!!

Amie - posted on 04/18/2009

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Quoting Schollin:



Thats what I figure but its not like I expect him to do the dishes or take out the trash. He enjoys helping and like I said its never expected to be perfect for example when he makes his bed his blanket is usually side ways and the sheets sometimes aren't even on. I'm not looking to make a robot or the perfect child, I just want him to put effort into things. If I let him only do just the things most kids are capable of doing at his age, aren't I just holding him back? If he struggles with something we practice at it .If ever he really just didn't like to do something because its to diffuclt I wouldn't make him do it. I don't force things upon him, I just teach him.(i'm sorry if this comes off rude, its not at all meant to be. I appreciate your advice.)





I know what you mean and I didn't find you to be rude. I hope my post wasn't taken that way. It's hard interpreting sometimes when only reading text but trust me I know how irritating it is to have others butt in. =) Keep it up.. like another mom said... you're doing his future wife a huge favor. LOL!!

Tierney - posted on 04/18/2009

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I have my son help me pick up toys also. Making his bed may be going to far when it comes to age appropriate chores. But it's completely up to you. I understand where you're coming from. I went to college for ECED so I kinda go off the books with my son.

[deleted account]

I think thats totally awesome that youre doing that! It teaches them good habits early! Im sure he has his fun time, but sometimes are for work, and thats good as long as theres a good balance! I hope to do that with my son too.

Sara - posted on 04/18/2009

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You are doing his future wife a HUGE favor. :) If only my mother-in-law had that kind of foresight... :)

Schollin - posted on 04/18/2009

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Quoting Amie:

Every parent is different... my own have chores to do as well but their age appropriate. Maybe some just think what you're having him do isn't. There's always someone with an opinion... especially family. It's like they figure we're related so I can say whatever I want. It's really annoying, I know. I just had a blow out with my mom last night because of her opinions and mine. =)


Thats what I figure but its not like I expect him to do the dishes or take out the trash. He enjoys helping and like I said its never expected to be perfect for example when he makes his bed his blanket is usually side ways and the sheets sometimes aren't even on. I'm not looking to make a robot or the perfect child, I just want him to put effort into things. If I let him only do just the things most kids are capable of doing at his age, aren't I just holding him back? If he struggles with something we practice at it .If ever he really just didn't like to do something because its to diffuclt I wouldn't make him do it. I don't force things upon him, I just teach him.(i'm sorry if this comes off rude, its not at all meant to be. I appreciate your advice.)

Schollin - posted on 04/18/2009

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Quoting Amie:

Every parent is different... my own have chores to do as well but their age appropriate. Maybe some just think what you're having him do isn't. There's always someone with an opinion... especially family. It's like they figure we're related so I can say whatever I want. It's really annoying, I know. I just had a blow out with my mom last night because of her opinions and mine. =)


Thats what I figure but its not like I expect him to do the dishes or take out the trash. He enjoys helping and like I said its never expected to be perfect for example when he makes his bed his blanket is usually side ways and the sheets sometimes aren't even on. I'm not looking to make a robot or the perfect child, I just want him to put effort into things. If I let him only do just the things most kids are capable of doing at his age, aren't I just holding him back? If he struggles with something we practice at it .If ever he really just didn't like to do something because its to diffuclt I wouldn't make him do it. I don't force things upon him, I just teach him.(i'm sorry if this comes off rude, its not at all meant to be. I appreciate your advice.)

Amie - posted on 04/18/2009

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Every parent is different... my own have chores to do as well but their age appropriate. Maybe some just think what you're having him do isn't. There's always someone with an opinion... especially family. It's like they figure we're related so I can say whatever I want. It's really annoying, I know. I just had a blow out with my mom last night because of her opinions and mine. =)

Amie - posted on 04/18/2009

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Every parent is different... my own have chores to do as well but their age appropriate. Maybe some just think what you're having him do isn't. There's always someone with an opinion... especially family. It's like they figure we're related so I can say whatever I want. It's really annoying, I know. I just had a blow out with my mom last night because of her opinions and mine. =)

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