Lonely at home!

Winnie Takyiwah - posted on 07/22/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 month old and a stay at home mum. My husband is very supportive and spend his time at home all the time after work. My problem is that, I wish I had friends that I could hang out with sometime so that he can also see some of his friends for a boy's nite out or something. Didn't really think about having friends when I was working but now that I am home with baby 24/7 I get lonely and need some adult time sometimes in the day, with or without baby. At least I can have a meaningful communication
Am I just going crazy or this happens to people? Plus I have been in the U.S. for only 3 years.
I need some encouragement and strength from you mums.

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[deleted account]

You aren't crazy at all I think lots of moms go through this. Not even just moms, anyone who stays home all the time with no one to really socialize with can go through this. I definitely feel your pain, some days are better than others but I'm down to one friend which is kind of discouraging in itself lol. I don't know how to tell you to find new friends because I haven't found any either, I find it so hard to connect to people now especially when they don't have kids. I have heard that a mom and tot group might help but haven't tried it myself. I found that if I'm feeling down or lonely I will put my son in his stroller and go for a walk. Even though I'm still by myself I feel so much better after I get some fresh air. Sometimes even just taking him and the dogs outside in the yard and relaxing on a blanket helps. The playground can be a great way to meet other moms in your area too. Bottom line is you aren't crazy! This is totally normal just try and find something to occupy your time and hopefully you will meet someone you have things in common with.

Shalaina - posted on 07/25/2010

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I also understand because we moved out of our hometown (before we had our son) for college and I do not know anyone up here.

[deleted account]

I know exactly how you feel. We move alot so it's quiet hard to meet new friends. We moved to new zealand 7 months ago and this time i just decided to look after myself for a change. I joined a painting class the first week i got hear, joined the gym. If you want something to do with the baby, take her to swimming lessons. A really nice way to meet other women. I know it sounds selfish but you have to do something for you, something that you really love. You just need to put your thinking cap on and really figure out what you like and what kind of people you like. If you love music or dancing, take up tango lessons, a language course. It's not all about money but sometimes it's alot cheaper than what your husband will have to spend when we have a breakdown from being depressed. Your well-being is the most important thing to keeping a happy household. Well that's what i tell me husband. LOL

Winnie Takyiwah - posted on 07/24/2010

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thanks for all the encouragement. I have a couple of good friends but they are all out of state. I get to talk to them every other week if am very lucky cos they all work full time and have their own lives to live.
@ Kim, just got a library card. So I will go there to see if I can make myself useful.lol
@ Jayde, I was the only one that had a baby that day in the hospital. Its a pretty new one and so they didn't have that many patients. I didn't not meet one single mom there. My baby was the only one in the nursery whenever I took her there.
I will see what happens

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2010

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Yeah, I feel the same way.... to me it seems like when I told my friends we were prego are stopped coming around and calling. When I was put on bed rest not one of my so called friends came over or called to see how I was!! And one I still talk to (not sure I will keep talking to her) because it's a one sided friendship I ALWAY have to go to her house when we I go over there I end up either watching her 3 kids or sitting in the living room alone with my daughter and her kids watching tv and shes in her room.... wait I think am a free babysitter to her not a friend thou she gives me the "friend" title!

Jayde - posted on 07/24/2010

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When i was on maternity leave for 10months, my hubby n i moved to Sydney & 1month after Summer was born he was deployed overseas for 5months- so i definitely know how you feel about loneliness. I had no family around (except my sister but she working full time) I ended up forcing myself (when she was 4 months old) to message one of the mothers from antenatal classes, i am pretty shy, & now we are really close friends AND our babies are the same age. I did a lot of travelling to see my family too. Granted i only have 1 friend but i had to go back to work (part time) 1 is all i need. I look forward to seeing her every week for female adult conversation & someone who's going through the same as me. Did you meet anyone in the hospital? Good luck hun :)

Emma - posted on 07/24/2010

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it can happen i have felt really lonely since i moved as moved away from friends and family what i do is make time to go and see them and catch up even if its only a phone call. it is important to have adult time for yourself with others so u can have proper conversations and fell like more than just a mum

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2010

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I understand exactly what you mean. I felt like this for a while after having my daughter because I was home all day with a baby and no one to talk to. The best thing I did was put myself in school. Not only did it help my future but it got me interacting with people. It seems like when we get older and start our families and/or have kids we put all of ourselves into that (our children/ husbands/boyfriends/ etc.) and tend to lose people we were once close to. I think the best thing to do is try to meet some new people and see if you like interacting with them and of course your on here and it may help making online friends even if they are across the country!

Brittany - posted on 07/23/2010

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I understand exactly what your going thru. I have two babies and I don't really talk to anyone one, i have one friend that claims she is my friend but yet when it comes to coming over she always calls at last minute i can't come. Everyone gets lonely even if they have a loved one sitting next to them. When i found this website I was like maybe i can meet some mom and chat, even if it is on here its at least talking to someone. but i know exactly how you feel. hope all is well, give it time maybe that friend will come along that is what i keep telling my self.

Kimberly - posted on 07/22/2010

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I completely understand what you're going through. The only people I know in this new town I'm in are my in-laws. However, you can go to the library or the park to meet other moms!

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