Lonely mum

Lisa - posted on 10/04/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

3

0

1

I adore my kids (6year old boy and 2 year old boy) I haven't worked for 5 years and have enjoyed being a stay at home mum, but I feel so isolated and lonely. I have found that my old friends have stopped asking me out (cause I always want to be in bed by 9pm just cause I'm so drained at night) I have a great partner but I really miss having girlfriends! Has anyone else experienced these feelings?

8 Comments

View replies by

Melissa - posted on 10/05/2012

87

12

14

If you feel going back to work is the best thing for you then you should. But you should really look into all the aspects of it first. I've found it's actually financially better for us for me to stay home with the kids, the cost of daycare alone would be almost my entire paycheck, plus I'm able to do more cooking/baking and not buy pre-made meals and just grab fast food on the way home because I'm tired, by cooking from scratch I was able to cut our food bill in half from what we were spending when I was working. I'm also not spending all the gas money getting to and from work or having to buy clothes for work, etc. I too fell that it's best for the kids to be raised at home instead of a daycare with so many kids to so few teachers and I enjoy being so involved in my kids lives and being able to watch them grow and not miss anything.

Sarah - posted on 10/05/2012

2

0

0

I know exactly how you feel. I have a daughter who just had her first birthday. Although she is my world it does tend to get pretty lonely at my house aswell. My husband works so im always home with the baby. So not having any friends and my family living far away makes it hard to not feel lonely. I know im a great mom and im doing the right thing but doesnt change the fact its extremely lonely having no interaction with other people.

Kim - posted on 10/05/2012

462

11

27

Yes. In my case a few really good friends got divorced. They have weekends off and do things together while we usually do family things on weekends. They also started working so no time during the week to hang out anymore. I also met some friends thru my kids' preschool but now the kids are in Elementary school and we never see each other anymore. My bff is now a Nun in another state and a few friends live in other states now too. I literally have no friends near by. Oh and the biggest kicker is 2 people I talked to all the time and enjoyed spending time with-my Mom and Grandmother, both died within 18 months of each other. So I truely have no one to hang out with.



I did enjoy being home with my kids. Like I said back then I had friends I met at the Library playgroup or storytime, and I met other parents from my kids' Preschool, like the 2 that got divorced. I would not give up seeing all their firsts and getting to spend that time with them for some friends. I am now looking at volunteering at my kids' school more. Something I really could not do having a young one at home or running to and from Preschool. I'd get a job but I want to be able to go on field trips with my kids, and go to presentations they have. I'm also a GS leader, so I stay pretty busy.

Janessa - posted on 10/05/2012

289

10

0

If you honestly feel like going back to work is the best thing for your family then do it. I find however in so many situations it makes such a difference in the kids lives if the mother is at home, more than does money. I was teaching when my first 2 were born for one reason only,because we knew it was the right thing to do,my husband stayed home and finished school and I worked. My last day was the happiest of my life, and I haven't looked back, but I have had lonely days, and so I have done play groups, book clubs, and church activities, this has made a huge difference. You do need outlets and me time,but your children need lots of mommy time which may or may not happen if you go back to work. I believe that raising kids is one of the most important jobs anyone could do. They are our future. We need to do the very best we can by them,but I do recognize that sometimes it is the best thing to go back to work,only make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

Carly - posted on 10/04/2012

1

0

0

Thanks for the acknowledgement guys, you brightened my day :-) I'm toying with the idea of going back to work (I'm keen to work, my partner prefers a more traditional gender roles tho) adult conversation/interaction plus more money for the family sounds like a win to me just hope I can convince him of that.

Melissa - posted on 10/04/2012

87

12

14

I know how your feeling! I try to find moms in my area with kids similar ages to mine to have play dates with to get some adult conversation in.

Jamie - posted on 10/04/2012

13

10

0

Everyday. My oldest is five, and I have a 20 month old. I haven't worked in a job job for three years now. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy!

Cristy - posted on 10/04/2012

5

14

2

i know what you mean, a break from the kids means relaxation and sleep for me!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms