Looking at the situation rationally?

Theresa - posted on 12/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My fiance and I have two boys, a two year old and an almost four month old. We always talked about moving to Tennessee and raising our kids there. Well when I was three months pregnant with our second, we broke up. He left and went to Tennessee with another woman. When we got back together, I was obviously furious (and mostly heartbroken.) He kept talking about moving to Tennessee, and I told him I would never be able to go there with him after that.



Well last night he sprung it on me- SURPRISE let's go to Tennessee this weekend. It's been 6 months since he went with that other girl, and I keep telling myself that if we're going to be together then I need to let that go. Leave the past in the past & get over it, or else don't be with him. I can't half-forgive him, right?



So I didn't say anything, just.. "oh.. that sounds fun..." because I can't start yelling about how he went with another girl while I was pregnant with our son and rehash the fight that we're supposed to be past. But I keep thinking that there's no way I'll enjoy myself there with him. I'll be thinking about how he was sitting underneath that waterfall kissing her six months ago. Everywhere he takes me, he took her six months ago. And I already have all these images of him & her in Tennessee, doing romantic things, having fun, and I don't want to solidify those images.



On the other hand- it's foolish to imagine that your boyfriend isn't going to take you places he went with an ex. That'd leave restaurants, movie theaters, even the car off limits. It's more reasonable to be flattered that he wants to share a beautiful place with me, than it is to be insulted that he invited me somewhere he went with another woman in the past. I'm trying to tell myself that it's nice that he thought of me & wants to share it with me, and that it'd be immature and selfish to ruin it. I'm also thinking how STUPID it would be for me to say I'll never travel to a beautiful state just because he went there with someone else previously. I shouldn't let that define my life, my future, my trips & the fun I have.



I'm still having a hard time with the idea, no matter how mature & reasonable I'm trying to be. There's that jealous, childish little girl inside. But I'd really like to go make memories with my little family, and have a romantic weekend with the hubbs- we've never done anything fun & exciting like this. And of course the smart, manipulative woman in me is thinking "go to Tennessee with him and have a blast- blow that b**** out of the water, and anytime he thinks about Tennessee from here on out he'll think about you instead of her." ha :)



Any thoughts ladies?

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Rosa - posted on 12/13/2012

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Usually when situations like that come up. I try to just forget about the past. People make mistakes. So go on and try to enjoy your self for u and most important your family!!

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