lost my husband to a game

Julie - posted on 11/12/2008 ( 13 moms have responded )

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my husband only seems to play with the kids or spend time with me when it is convenient for him. he goes to work before we get up and is back at supper time. after supper he gets on the computer and plays warhammer for hours. on weekends, he is stuck at the computer unless i make plans were we have to leave the house. he says that he likes to escape reality into his games. and that they challenge him. he gets bored easily and i am not too sure he isnt undiagnosed adhd. i just want him to want to play with the kids more. i mean they didnt pick him as a father, and i think he should be the best father for them.

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Me - posted on 10/28/2011

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im in my 40's with adult children and also a 3 year old with my 2nd husband. he works hard pays the bills. outside of that he has never much been active around the house. i do my work and he mows the lawn and puts the garbage out. all the other guy stuff he will pay someone to do it. i clean up after 2 teens him a 3 year old and 2 dogs. he walks in works at anytime in his office sleeps lies in the bedroom 2 watch tv does whatever he wants. eats dinner in or out whatever he feels like. who am i cooking for each day who knows. so after my day of trying to be ultra mom and being permantely connected to a 3 year old or driving teens around i put my toddler to bed and by then he is usually on his computer gaming. family participation when he feels like it. son participation when he feels like it. the gaming with some tank game started a few months ago and now its out of control i leave him alone cos he is working and then see he is on this stupid game. its taken over his life outside of working and he says its because of the stress of a blended family. to the point where when he is in room we dont connect and its easier he isnt around. torn between good he is out my way to why is he doing this. disconnecton mood swings omg

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Dana - posted on 11/13/2008

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I wanna post something:

I've been there with you guys. My hubby used to work 18-22 hour days & it was HORRIBLE!!!! The worst thing that happened to him has been the best thing for us. He got injured last year & has been off work for a year with back surgeries. I go to school & I work during the day. He does get STUCK on the computer when he's having a down day, but we have 4 kids & the 2 little boys are at home & both still in diapers, so he does the Mr. Mom thing now. We cut cable (for money reasons) & have dial-up internet (SLOW) He's gotten bored with his few PS2 games. He's now getting to know his kids in a way that most men NEVER get or take the time for. He's changed his opinion of what Mom's do majorly. His new opinion is: How can Dad's not get to know their kids like this? He says he wishes all dads had this chance.

I wish all of you the best of luck, but I don't suggest you break his legs or anything to get this started. LOLOLOLOLOL

Anna - posted on 11/13/2008

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Well my husband informed me he thinks he should CHOOSE when to help around the house...that women stay at home all the time and get everything done with no problem....and he feels like that because he works from 3 or 4 in the morning to 5+ at night and i guess what we do is easy or not important since we dont bring home money which is total bullshit! So i'm expected to do 2 loads of laundry, clean, and cook while breastfeeding changing diapers and entertaining my 1 and a half old!! Yeah right

Tonya - posted on 11/13/2008

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idk about u guys but i wish i could escape reality. My hubby leaves for work right before I have to start getting the kids up. I get my 6 yr old & my 3 yr old with special needs on the bus. Then about that time my 1 yr old wakes up. My hubby gets home right after the kids. Just in time to get on the computer. I help my 1st grader with her homework and then deal with the daily challenges of my 3 yr old with seizures. He does fix supper for us but then it is back to the computer. He is addicted to Mobsters on Myspace. Last night I was balling because I was sooooo stressed out and he just doesn't get it. He thinks I just sit on the computer all day while he is at work. Somehow the house gets cleaned, laundry gets done, his dog is taken care of, & his daughter is in one piece when he gets home. I have no car so I am confined to the house all day. Yippee! I don't know why men think we are so hard to understand. We just want a little compassion and a little help with the kids. If they would do it without being asked that would be even better.

Julie - posted on 11/13/2008

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its because hes a rarity. my son is the same way. he sees me much more but he gets all excited when daddy gets home. my kids get annoyed with my husband. they will ask him to come see something and he'll say in a minute and by the second or third time asking they give up and are like screw you. and we wind up the same way every night. i am watching tv or doing things for school and he is on the computer. we have a really lousy relationship because of this. it is always strained. and what really upsets me is when we are intimiate he gets up smokes and is back on the computer very quickly. i don't get any damn snuggle time. i should be a single parent. my kids don't get enough attention as is. and what really pisses me off is we have joint custody of our daughter and she has mentioned this to her mom. her mom has even said something to him and no change.

Melissa - posted on 11/13/2008

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wow i guess i am not alone in this.... sometimes i wish there werent games like these...but my husband doesnt get home untill 10 and by then i am tired cause i take care of kids in the house with my own and he says theres no point in comeing in a hanging with me cause he know i will just go to sleep in a little while but i have even tryed staying up real late with him but all he does is play on the computer and i end up just watching tv all by myself and he like never does anything with our lil girl and the funny thing is that she just has to hear his voice and she lights up why not with me she see me alot more then him u would think she would care more about me

Ashley - posted on 11/13/2008

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My ˙husband is also addicted to the computer. Games games games. We came to a compromise. I leave him alone to play for a while, (when he needs to escape), and then he engages in our family life. Playing with our 4 year old or whatever that may mean. But if he wants peace and quiet to 'play' he has to balance it with taking part in our family.

Vicky - posted on 11/13/2008

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your so not alone.... my husband is in the forces, he works on shift patterns and occasionally works away, so seeing him at all is lucky. I made the mistake of buying him a playstation 2 when we 1st got together about 5 yrs ago... and i thought that was a big mistake! Until my husband thought buying a damn psp would be a great idea... that thing is unbreakable and the cause of so many arguments in our house. he takes it everywhere with him! All i wish is that he would just spend some time with our two boys, Joshua 3 and lucas 1. him being away and on shifts they hardly see him and there is only so much a mum can do. A break from the boys would be lovely, but i would so much prefer seeing him spend time with them.What can i do? It's just nice seeing other mum's like yourself in the same situation..

The other alternative his join them, beat them, they'll get mad and hopefully smash it up! haha now that just sounds too good to be true! Men hey!

Anna - posted on 11/12/2008

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my husband is obsessed with fantasy football and is constantly messin with it...that and he's also obsessed with regular football too! on the weekends (the only time we get to have "family time") i never see him...he's either in the computer room or in another room watchin some damn football game!

Julie - posted on 11/12/2008

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I tired to throw the computer tower out the front door. to no avail though. he didnt get the hint. and i tried putting him on a schedule similiar to yours and he became such an asshole i told him to go play is damn game and get out of my face.

Krista - posted on 11/12/2008

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ughh I wish I just lost mine to a video game. I lost mine to his god damn job. He decided that he was going to work the night shift, without even consulting me on it, and now he works all damn night and sleeps all damn day. I might see him for an hour a day. It's pathetic. We're not actually married and we don't even live together but DAMN, I just became a single mother! Then he comes here tonight and tells me he would gladly change places with me cuz all I do is take care of kids all day. UGHHHHH!!!!!!! Sorry, just needed to vent LOL

Eloise - posted on 11/12/2008

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oh god do i know this problem!!!

im a warhammer widow too x

weve made a rule that if he does the reading homework and the bed time routine he can go on as long as he wants and at the weekend he has to help on saturdays with the kids so i can get on with shopping and housework that doesnt get done in the week if he can do that he can go on on saterday night and on sunday there is not computer at all we spend the day as a family then when the kids are in bed we sit and watch a film together or just spend time talking

i know it sound like he get treated like a child but thats what he acts like when he's not alound on the blooming game, i did have to threaten the computer with a hammer for him to agree to all this though! lol good luck x

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