Love life dissipating...

Jacki - posted on 06/24/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my husband and I have been together for only about 2 years (this time around), when we were first together we had sex ALL the time! now, since i got pregnant and had our daughter I haven't wanted to have sex..like absolutely no desire. He's so frustrated I'm afraid he may look elsewhere. I miss having that WANT for sex..how do I regain that feeling before it's too late?

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Desiree - posted on 06/24/2009

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I am not sure about herbs or medications to help, but on another forum the women were talking about a 30 day sex challenge. (Not quite sure on how long it went) The principle was every day no matter who is or isn't in the mood you have sex for 30 days. Supposedly increasing frequency increases the desire to have have sex more often. Oh and quite a few anti-depressants cause a decrease in sex drive. That could be something you could ask your doctor about.

Christine - posted on 06/24/2009

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I have two sons, and it's the same story here. My youngest is two months, and because i'm nursing him, i have no desire, it was the same story with first too. The hormones released after pregnancy affect different women differently, and nursing will also throw a wrench in the works. Dont feel obligated, but be willing and let him know that there will be a reduction frequency, and use some lube, because you'll notice lubrication is not what it once naturally was. Just because you don't feel like it doesn't mean you cant enjoy yourself. give it a go.

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Marabeth - posted on 06/24/2009

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if youre nursing you have much less estrogen (less desire and lubrication). also the closeness of nursing often satisfies a woman's need of intimacy completely so desire for your husband takes a back seat. i just try and think about what makes him him, why i love him.. somethin usually stars stirring after awhile of that. oh, and dont try and do it on a full stomach. that ruins it.

[deleted account]

same here. i thought it would pick back up after i weened baby pie, but it has only increased a little. nowhere near what it was before baby.

Jacki - posted on 06/24/2009

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Quoting Cherie:

I was worried that i was the only one who had that prob. my son is nearly 3, and im in the same boat as you. We're pretty easy going, so we have a "take it rule", that sounds bad, but we show each other enough respect that when the other REALLY doesnt want to, we dont "take it" it actually works in getting you in the mood, when they initiate it, you get into the groove pretty quick. Christine Patterson, I definately agree with u on the lube!. after a couple of weeks of the "take it rule" you do actually feel like initiating it yourself.


doing this IS about the only time we have sex...however it's like both sides gave up..we're also "out of sync" due to work schedules, so when one wants to have sex, the other is too tired...ugh, so frustrating! are there any herbs or medication (that doesn't interfere with BC and anti-depressants) that may also help?

Cherie - posted on 06/24/2009

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I was worried that i was the only one who had that prob. my son is nearly 3, and im in the same boat as you. We're pretty easy going, so we have a "take it rule", that sounds bad, but we show each other enough respect that when the other REALLY doesnt want to, we dont "take it" it actually works in getting you in the mood, when they initiate it, you get into the groove pretty quick. Christine Patterson, I definately agree with u on the lube!. after a couple of weeks of the "take it rule" you do actually feel like initiating it yourself.

Sarah - posted on 06/24/2009

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now this is a lil' personal but have you tried pleasing yourself, finding out what you like and telling him, showing him what & how to do it? 4 play will also entice the mood, films etc.....lol can't say I've ever had a convo like this, but I hope it helps! if none of that does talk to your doctor

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