Low body confidence

Sarah Louise - posted on 07/24/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hi Everyone! I have a two year old boy and ever since he was born i have really struggled coming to terms with how my body has changed. To the point where i get very down and cant look in morrors etc. Its not the fact i think im massive, i have a bit of a stomach, and hips now!! My bra size has also gone from a b to a dd. Im most unhappy though about my stomach and love handles. I have a fiance that says he loves my body etc, but i just feel like a let down for him cos i dont feel confident at all. Has anyone else felt like this, and does it get any better in time?

Thanks

x

11 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 07/24/2009

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i know how you feel .. my son is 7 months old and i feel awful about myself .. and it doesn't help that i am still not back to work. my son has sever eczma so he requires alot of creams and treatment during they day and i just can't put that on someone else or trust they will do it. so i am home all day bored and depressed and i feel like i am gainng weight but when i went to the dr she said i lost weight well could someone pleas show me where?

Crystal - posted on 07/24/2009

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I have had three kids and believe me my stomach is uggghhhh but you know what i am finally coming to terms with it because my kids is what caused it and i love them so much and it is truly what is on the inside that counts..your fiancee probably truly loves your body...you will learn to love your new body

Amanda - posted on 07/24/2009

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just remember your fiance is with you and not some one who didn't have a child. we all can't look like jessica alba after having babies. i think it would help if the media showed what REAL women look like after birth, i honestly thought i would be leaving the hospital back to my normal self!!! LMAO, not so much! 9 months later i am back down in weight and size but i have that back fat roll, stretch marks ALL OVER, and my tummy skin is so loose and baggy (i was 107 when i got preggers and the baby was 10lbs 8 oz!!), oh and my boobs got up to a D and suddenly dropped down to a barely A!?. for the longest time i didnt let the hubby see me naked, but i am just now getting comfortable with my body changes, he thinks i look awesome... the way i see it is i look decent in clothing, and he is the only one who sees me naked so life is good:)

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2009

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I think women's views of their bodies are so messed up they don't know what's what anymore. Have you ever seen this show "How to Look Good Naked"? It used to be on Lifetime in the US (not sure where you're from) and it's a fantastic show. Some of the things they do to put the women's views of themselves in perspective is take a picture of them and some other models in their underwear and cover the faces and have them pick out the most attractive body. And guess what, they unknowingly pick out their own! Another thing they do is have the woman guess other women's sizes, but they pick women that are all the same size as the participant so she can see there's all kinds of 10s or 12s or whatever size. Another thing you can do is draw a life-size silhoutte (sp?) of yourself, what you think you look like, and then have your fiancee trace your real shape over it. Men like women with curves, we're the ones that think we have to be stick thin. Ask any man, he'll tell you the same thing! Also, consider this: for every woman you compare yourself too, I wish I had her legs/boobs/butt/whatever, another one is probably comparing herself to you! And you can't compare yourself to women that have never had children. It's apples and oranges, 2 different things. It's almost as bad as comparing yourself to celebrities!

Charlie - posted on 07/24/2009

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i feel exactly the same except my DD's are now an F ! i would love to be a DD again , i am very insecure about my stomach as i have terrible stretch marks on it , he says he loves me unconditionally and loves my bod but i cringe when his hands even go near my stomach , i know i really need to stop this but am finding it hard . i know its more my insecurety . you are not alone Sarah one thing that does make me feel better is going for a walk it really clears the mind and gets those endorphins running .

Adrienne - posted on 07/24/2009

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Agreed…society does make u think that looking anorexic is great. I after three children I have the muffin top and the tiger claws on my stomach too. I mean after my first child I never could only look at a bikini. But I learned how to wear things that fit my body shape and I generally like myself at 29 years old and so does my husband and children. Also keep in mind that I do have a 12 year old daughter that I have to raise. It’s bad enough that in these times there is so much more pressure on our little girls to look a certain way so I try to teach my daughter to be happy with herself and I try to follow my own advice.

Tara - posted on 07/24/2009

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Society puts so much pressure on us to look like anorexic teenagers regardless of our age.It's really tough to come to grips with the 'kitty cat pooch' belly and the saggy boobs and the stretch marks when all the magazines and movies tell us that beautiful women don't look like that.It's hard to believe that just a few hundred years ago the beautiful women where the women with the rounded curves and the plump belly , because these women were proven child bearers and healthy to boot.I know after 4 kids I get pretty down that I certainly will never fit back in a size 3 again, heck I'll be lucky to get back in a 10 but I do have this. I have 4 amazing little boys and a hubby that thinks I'm hot regardless of how big my belly is.A real man that loves you loves you for you , and is probably smart enough to realize that those stretch marks are a badge of courage and a symbol that your a real woman.

Destiny - posted on 07/24/2009

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I am going thru this too, I was having trouble getting a regular menstrual cycle when I was trying to conceive my 1st son so I lost 71lbs and got pregnant I did awesome during the pregnancy but after he was born I put about 51lbs back on and then 1yr later I was pregnant with my 2nd son I lost a good amount of weight when he was born but it is slowly creeping up again... My husband says he still find me attractive and he gets very mad at me when I talk bad about how I feel about my body. I just cant seem to find the motivation to start getting active! Or I try and east right for a week and expect to see huge results and at the end of the week there not there so I give up! I think it is hard for us moms, Im mean we have so much on our plates.. kids, spouse, house, groceries. I think we need to take time to make ourselves feel better!

Adrienne - posted on 07/24/2009

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I am a mother of three. I had my daughter at 17 so my body really bounced back. By time I had my son (who is four) I defiantly noticed that my body changed and I was okay with the change. I recently gave birth a third time and again my body changed. The point that I would like to make is that for me each pregnancy is affected my body differently and I had no choice but to embraced the changes. I don’t have the finance to change every aspect of my body that I don’t like so when I look in the mirror I see a healthy mother of three. I know that it is hard sometimes to be happy with the way we look and society doesn’t make it any better but it’s our duty to dig down deep and accept who we are for our own sanity.

Sarah Louise - posted on 07/24/2009

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Thanks for that made me smile :) I think one of the biggest issues i have is that my fiance is not my sons dad, we got together when my son was a year. also he hasint been with anyone before who has had a child, so i think surely the sight of me would not be what he wants to see, given the fact their are so many women with lovely figures.

Cristina - posted on 07/24/2009

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Uck I have a 5 week old and I have lost 50 pounds rapidly without really trying so my body looks a hot mess right now. My fiance asked me to take a shower with me I use to enjoy these times with him, but as I got undressed I was looking in the mirror and I wanted to cry. Now after showers I run to get dressed. He too says he loves what my body looks like now but I cant understand how. On a better note if your fiance is anything like mine he just might be telling the truth about liking your body. My brother and his wife's relationship bloomed big time after she had my nephew same thing with my best friend and his wife. They say now the are looking at beautiful figured woman. I think someday we should come to terms that what we went through makes us more beautiful. Also if your fiance still looks at you with the passion he had for you before you had your child I'm sure he thinks your still beautiful and to me my fiance's opinion is all i need to make me feel better when I'm down.

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