Mama's Boy, Do They Ever Grow Up?

Danielle - posted on 12/19/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My DH and I have been married for almost 4 years. We unfortunately live with my MIL because my DH will not leave her because she has him believe she needs help doing everything and needs to be coddled and has no one else which she has 2 other kids. I am not sure if she has been that way since he was young or maybe once she was widowed but it's almost like my DH has become her replacement husband. I feel like a 4th wheel in the house. I have posted before that she has taken in her other son who is in his 40's who is an alcoholic/chain smoker/weed smoker (my DH is going down this path which scares me) and is basically supporting his habits by letting him live there for free (we at least pay bills) and basically believing he can do no wrong. I keep getting the run around that he is moving back into his condo but he has been with us for almost 3 years now. My DH and I have twin boys that are 6 months old. He decides to up and quit his job right before Thanksgiving and we were already living pay check to pay check so I had to return all the Christmas presents I had bought so we could pay bills. I know my DH thinks "Oh well Mommy will take care of us"! I am not having her pay for us! We are grown ups with two boys we need to take care of stuff. It drives me nuts that he always things that he can get away with so many things with his Mom and he does. She believes her children can do no wrong. So now here we are at Christmas time and we have no presents for our boys (luckily they are too young to realize) or anyone else. He can't get a job because he can't pass a pee test. I don't know what to do. I wish he could see what he and his MIL are doing to me. I have been so stressed lately and he doesn't see what he is doing.

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Monica Marie - posted on 12/19/2013

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Hello :) You may not want to hear this but it's the truth girl :) I don't know him but by the way you explained things it sounds like my soon to be ex-husband. Same thing happened to me and my soon to be ex-husband. We were back and fourth for a while and the very last time I took him back I set boundaries like : You have to stop drinking and smoking weed. You have to get a job and keep it. You have to move out of your mom's and get your own place and pay your bills. You see I was the one doing everything plus supporting his habits and his mom and nephews because I loved him so much.... but then I woke up one day crying and realized that I can do so much better for myself and my daughter... So when i gave him 3 months to do at least one of those things... He said I don't want to change... I left him and it's the best thing i have ever done for my daughter and myself... I'm not saying to leave him but if he hasn't even tried... Then he will never change.... Hopefully I'm wrong but like i said he sounds like my ex. Good luck girl :) I'm here if you need to talk :)

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