Marriage problems after a baby

Stephanie - posted on 02/19/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My husband and I are just falling apart out son will be 9 months old this month and ever since he was born my husband has changed and not for the better either. We fight all the time I really don't know what to do I don't know why he has become so angry and I just can't do anything right in his eyes it's awful. I am starting to really just become indifferent to him I just don't even know what to do. I feel like maybe it's just time to give up I have tried talking to him and tried doing things to help make his life less stressful and have tried being super nice but I just can't take it any more I am misserable. I don't want to be a single mom and I never thought I would get divorced but it really isn't looking good. Help!!!

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Saleha - posted on 07/23/2014

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Dont wry Stephenie. ..everything will b fi9....keep a babysitter for ur child...and spend some quality time with ur hubby....this will surely improve ur relationship....

Anna - posted on 02/19/2010

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Im sorry, its hard enough dealing with a baby for the first time. Well my advice would be to see a marraige counselor. Often times, a different perspective is needed. Its hard to look at the other side when you are already angry. Sometimes an outsider can make things more clear to each indivdual. Also, if you are trying to talk and its not working, try writing everything down. I tell everyone this. You can be mad as hell and if you write it down, you start seeign the way you talk to eachother and start to try and communicate in a different way. Make mommy&daddy time too. Maybe your huuby is feeling 2nd rate to your child. Its easy to do, becasue you get so consumed in what the baby needs. You start to forget about eachothers needs. I hope that this helps and I hope you two find some solution. Good luck and let me know how everything goes.

Amber - posted on 02/19/2010

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Lack of sleep is a big thing that comes when you have a baby. Not only lack of sleep but also lack of time (personal time, time for yourself) can really make people cranky. If you've been married for a while you know your husband and he knows you, but the change in life style of having a child can also change you as a person. I'm most definately not the same person I was before I had a child. I know it can be hard but just try to talk about it. Get someone to babysit go on a date and talk. Good Luck!

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Go find a good couples cousellor. They will facilitate communication between the two of you to identify what the reall problems are - then you can decide whether they are something you can overcome together.

One of the hardest things a relationship will ever have to weather is having kids - it is a complete change of both of your lives. Dont feel like you are alone - many of us go through the same thing. If you both make the effort to fmake it work then chances are it will.

Stephanie - posted on 02/19/2010

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Thank you to both of you, Terra, your situation sounds so fimiliar to me so maybe we just have more adjusting to do thanxs for the advice and support it's good to know I am not alone

Terra - posted on 02/19/2010

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My hubby and I were having alot of problems for a few months after Carson was born. It was rough but we finally got it all out in the open and talked through it. I felt like he didn't spend any time with me and what I did wasn't ever enough for him. He felt like he was helping but like I didn't think it was enough and (even though it sounded strange to me) he feels like his time with me all went to our son. Either way it is a major adjustment when you bring a child into the mix. Try to talk it through... it takes a while to get them into a conversation. If you can't and really want to try and work through it I would go with a counselor like Carolee said.

Carolee - posted on 02/19/2010

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See if he's willing to try going to a counselor. If he's not, he's given up on the relationship... if he is willing to give it a try, you'll most likely make it and be very happy. I hope he's willing.

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