Miserable working

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I recently had to get a job to keep food on the table and thankfully found a really good temp job. The job itself is awesome.



The thing is... it makes me horribly depressed. To the point that I often go to the bathroom during my breaks to cry. I barely see my children thanks to the commute. It takes me almost 2 hours to get home. By the time I do it is bedtime. I am away from the house 14+ hours a day.



Worse, my son (10 months) is still breastfed and refuses breastmilk from a cup. Since I started working he sleeps horribly. He clings to me even more than he used to.



My daughter (almost 3 years) talks about how she lost me and she wants me home. She is now having nightmares constantly about being abandoned.



My dad watches them for the 2 hours my husband's and my schedules overlap. While both enjoy his company, they don't prefer it.



All I am able to think about is how I now can't do anything with my kids. When I'm not working I'm trying to keep the house somewhat in order. My husband tries to help, but he doesn't have the motivation. He focuses on the kids over the house. It isn't a bad thing, but the house is so dirty now I can't keep up. I now am spending my days off cleaning the house.



I'm trying to keep myself going long enough to get through this temp job. But I'm not sure most days if I'm going to make it. It doesn't help that no one seems to understand how I feel. All they see is this nice job and how happy I should be to be "away" from my kids. When that is the problem.



I actually hate my life. I have had horrible thoughts. My children are literally the only things that are keeping me going.

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[deleted account]

Thank you. I have tried to explain to my daughter that it will only be for a short time. But she doesn't really seem to understand what that means. Sadly I don't have an exact answer for her. It could be as early as Jan 1 or as late as in to Feb. I don't like the unknown and she is a lot like me. Which helps in a way, for me to understand her feelings.

Theresa - posted on 11/19/2012

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That sounds terrible! I'm so sorry! *hugs* When my first child was 5 weeks old, I had to go back to work or else lose our house. So I went back full speed. While the commute was great, the hours were less than desirable. I worked 12 hour shifts 7 days a week. It had been over 3 weeks before I got a day off. The money was great, but I was terribly depressed. I just wanted to be with my baby.



Your daughter having abandonment nightmares is definitely a problem. That must be so hard on you! Have you explained to her that this is only temporary?



I know the economy is tough and jobs aren't in excess, but I would definitely encourage you to look for other employment. I left my "dream job" for less money and an awful commute, but it was enough to keep food on the table and I got to spend time with my precious little peanut. Again- *hugs*! Hang in there!

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