Mother in Laws

Danielle - posted on 09/15/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I was recently married last year, and luckily got pregnant right away, but I am finding it difficult dealing with a mother in law that wants to be over 1-2/week (she's European, doesn't work). I am used to being very independent. Any tips on boundaries? My baby is 4 months and still exclusively breastfeeding. HELP!!!

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LeeAnn - posted on 09/15/2009

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I would advise to talk to your husband about it before you say anything to her. With her being from a different culture than you, he would have the best insight as to how you should proceed, with the least amount of collateral damage as possible. I am sure that she doesn't realize that she is imposing, and only wants to relish her grandbaby as much as possible. With that said, I don't think you should just let her have her way: Been there done that, and it doesn't help things, and will only lead to a bigger problem later. If your husband doesn't want to say anything, then you just need to be as honest as possible, but don't let your emotions fuel the conversation. Try discussing it in a neutral place, or at her home. If she feels like you are attacking her, she may be less inclined to really listen to what you have to say. Remember one very important thing: Someday, you will be a Mother in Law, and will want to see your grandchild. Try to keep the conversation as light as possible, but get the point across, so you don't delay further awkward moments. Good Luck!

Esmeralda - posted on 09/15/2009

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i can understand that.



is there anyway you can talk with her about scheduling a certain day of the week for her to come?



and maybe including your husband in the decision would be a good idea too.



make it like "family night" or somethng.she can come over an hour before dinner, so she can visit and yall can catch up,eat dinner,then its time for her to go so your family can do your nightly routine and relax.

Jamie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Flat out tell her, you need time to yourself and your baby. make sure to tell her she needs to call before coming over an has to limit her time there to say 1 or 2 hours per visit.

Jamie - posted on 09/15/2009

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Flat out tell her, you need time to yourself and your baby. make sure to tell her she needs to call before coming over an has to limit her time there to say 1 or 2 hours per visit.

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