Mother-in-laws living with you.

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Ok so my husband and I have been married for only 14 months with a son who is almost 8 months old. She is one of those mothers who couldn't wait to have a grandchild. Now that she does she's happy. She's also the type that spoils him so much it makes my day even harder and more stressful when he's with me. The good thing was that she lived in Arizona but now she will be living with us a year from now. I love my mother-in-law I do but I've heard stories and first hand about this situation. What do I do and how do I handle this without feeling like I'm gonna have a breakdown? Or better yet how do I still keep our relationship strong but at the same time put my footdown???? Help pls I'm already freaking out......


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Ritika - posted on 07/23/2009




Hi i have been staying with my mom in law and dad in law for the past six yrs since i got married. Although she is a big help with my son who is five it was difficult when he started growing up and could understand all the spoiling ,so i had a straight forward conversation with her about how she wld feel if it was her son getting spoiled.And she understood so now a days she just shuts her door when i am scolding my son.I was of course fortunate that she is very understanding . In our country it is very common for parents to stay with their son.On one hand its tough adjusting but on the other its gr8 as i can go out and do my stuff leaving my son at home with my mom in law and not feeling guilty

[deleted account]

First of all, let me just say that you are a saint for opening your home to your mother-in-law! Do you and your mom-in-law have a cool relationship? I had to deal with this in reverse a few years ago. You see, when my husband and I first moved from FL to PA we had to wait 3 months until our apartment was ready (and my hubby started his job STAT!), so we moved in with his mom and her boyfriend. OMG! It is a totall different relationship once people are under the same roof! I finally had to pull her aside and say firmly, but kindly that while we really appreciated her letting us stay with her, if she didn't stop undermining my authority and butting into our parenting our son, we were going to have to find somewhere else to stay. Turns out, she was just so excited about having us there, she didn't even realize how obnoxious she was being! After I told her about it, things were much better. So I would recommend laying down your expectations as early as possible (maybe even before she moves in). This could really help avoid an ugly confrontation later on. Good luck!

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