Mother of 4 wanting another baby. Good idea or no?

Amanda - posted on 01/03/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Okay here goes. Me and my husband have 4 boys. Two are his and one is mine, and one we had together. We have alot of stuff we need to get caught up bill wise, but after my brother and his wife had thier lil girl I wanted a baby so bad. I want a lil girl which I always have. I want to get pregnant, but scared it will be another boy. Should I try one more time to have my girl or not. Hubby is 12 years older than me. I'm 24 he is 37. What should I do. I have took 2 preg tests but both were neg. I didn't think it would bother me, but I feel sad. Yes I know they grow up. Which is great cause I could have mommy daughter time. I would so love that. I have done alot of praying. Just don't know what to do really.

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Sarah - posted on 01/04/2013

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First I would say make sure you are financially able to provide for another child. You stated that there are some bills that needed to be caught up, so make sure that you are still able to catch up on those bills if you have another child right now. If you are not able to do that then get those paid off first and then look into having another child. Both you and your husband are still young...even with him being 37. There are many people waiting to have their first until they are in their 40's and then having 2-3 kids in their 40's.

Second I would say you need to be ok with a boy or a girl. I can understand that want to have a girl. I had a boy first and for my second I was really hoping for a girl. But you have to be ok with a boy and not feel resentment for that child being a boy. A child is a blessing no matter if it is a boy or a girl.

Third I would say is to not dwell too much on the mommy daughter thing. Think back when you were younger.....did you want to do mommy daughter things when you were 13, 14, 15 yrs old. Most of us wanted to be dropped off at the mall somewhere in a spot where no one would see your mom dropping you off. That is most likely how it will be when your daughter is that age too. My son is 15 yrs old and recently went to a homecoming dance with a girl....this is a dance where both the girls and the guys dress up....a step down from prom, but still girls buy the nice fancy dresses. I was talking with the girl's mom saying how I look forward to that time when my daughter gets that age (she is 11 yrs now). I said how it would be fun to do her hair and help her get ready. The mom said, Oh she (the girlfriend) did not want the mom's help. That is when reality set in for me and I remembered how when I was that age I did not want my mom's help either. To a 15 yr old we are old and not someone they want to "hang" out with....even though we don't feel old and may even still listen and dance to the same music we are no longer a teen. :)

Cleaver - posted on 01/04/2013

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if it were up to me we would have a big house full of kids but thats because i want alot of kids not a specific sexe

Cecilia - posted on 01/03/2013

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I agree with you Ariana. Tons of children get lost in the system. I thought social services check finances was all.. I don't know since i never tried.

Amanda, if you're okay with a boy or girl then i say go for it.

Amanda - posted on 01/03/2013

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I love boys and girls. I mean if I had a boy thats fine. Just I already have 4 to take care of.

Cecilia - posted on 01/03/2013

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Ariana, she said her and her husband need to get caught up on bills. I'm sure if someone looks at their finances- they will probably tell them no. If you go through a private adoption agency, the mother's pick the parents they want. Even if you get picked- the sex isn't 100% until the child is born... that's just mean to walk away from the mother who choose you... because it was born a boy.

Cecilia - posted on 01/03/2013

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I would say if you're scared of having a little boy then don't do it. What happens if it's a boy? I think every woman understands the want to have a little girl ( just as men want lil boys)

My personal suggestion- Take your niece as much as you can and bond with her. There is nothing wrong with adoring your niece. I had 2 boys and my sister had a girl. I would spoil the hell out of that lil pumpkin. Tutus, feather boas, tea sets.. you know all the girly stuff.

I then had a girl, who was a tom-boy since she had two older brothers.... guess what it happens. She wore truck shirts and i couldn't get her into a dress. Truth is, boy or girl babies you don't know if it will be what you envision. Love your children for who they are and how unique they each are, not basing it on what plumbing they were born with.

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