My 10 month old Hits!

Lindsay - posted on 11/03/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 10 month old son has recently started hitting... hitting me, other adults and now other children in his daycare class. Sometimes you can tell by his facial expression that he is being sassy, other times it is not. Any suggestions??

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Quoting September:

At 10 months old hitting can be a form of communication. Because a 10 month old is not able to use words hitting can be a way to express himself. Hitting is never a good way to get your point across and that's where parent teaching comes into play. I would never recommended hitting your child back to teach him not to hit. Our children learn by example. So if you're hitting him how will he learn not to hit? I would suggest that you tell your son that it's not nice to hit. He is only 10 months old and does not understand that it's not nice so to reinforce the fact is a good place to start :) Good luck!


I couldn't agree with September more! all you teach a child by hitting them is that hitting is okay if you are bigger and older. Not something I want to do! While it may stop the behavior now  - lets think more long term. Not to mention a recent study showed spanked children have an IQ 10pts lower than non spanked children on average. Personally I want my kid as smart as possible. 



 



When my son (18 months at the time) started hitting I tried the same method that worked for biting - immediatly saying no biting! and putting him down and walking away. This worked great for biting, but two weeks later, it hadn't curbed the hitting. So I tried something else. 



In paying attention to my son's behavior I have noticed that he hits only when he is upset about something (he can't verbalise it/doesn't know how to deal with his emotions) so I immediatly capture his hands, hold them close to his body, look him straight in the eye and tell him sternly "we don't hit! it isn't nice!" and then I say "I know you are upset, you can tell me about it, you can also hug me really tight until you are feeling better" and I hug him close to my body (trapping his hands against me so he can't hit) until his temper has subsided. This worked almost immediatly. while he still has his moments, he now is much more likely to tell me what is wrong (in his baby babble) or just hug me tight. And I can't take credit for htis - I read about it on the Circle of Mom's boards. 



Whatever method works - just be non violent. 

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Vanessa - posted on 11/03/2009

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My daughters have issues with hitting as well. I found that if you see them about to hit someone, grab their hand mid-stride and tell them in a firm tone, "NO! Hitting is not nice. You need to be nice. Hitting hurts." and lightly hit their hand so they can see that hitting hurts. Then reiterate how hitting hurts and is not nice. For the most part, it's worked on my daughters as far as not hitting others... Keeping the two of them from hitting each other is a whole other story! lol I also had issues with biting, pinching, and pulling hair. In turn, I would bite, pinch, and pull their hair to show how it hurts them and that they shouldn't do it to others. Needless to say, they don't anymore.

Katrina - posted on 11/03/2009

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my daughter is 2 yrs old, and she hits me along with other kids and adults. i have tried everything in my power to get her to stop, but it seems the more i tell her "no it isnt nice" the more she does it, i have held her hands so she couldnt do it while i told her "no" and she will find some other way to hit me like kick. i have made her sit in time out, gave her lil spankings, which only made me feel horrible, i have sat her down and tried to talk to her to make her understand this isnt nice, but no matter what i do she just wont stop, i am running out of ways to make her stop, she is sooo stubborn and has an attitude. me and my husband recently split up, not that he was much help, but i am wondering if this is why she is acting out or is this a normal kid thing. i am so lost, and really need help!!!

September - posted on 11/03/2009

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At 10 months old hitting can be a form of communication. Because a 10 month old is not able to use words hitting can be a way to express himself. Hitting is never a good way to get your point across and that's where parent teaching comes into play. I would never recommended hitting your child back to teach him not to hit. Our children learn by example. So if you're hitting him how will he learn not to hit? I would suggest that you tell your son that it's not nice to hit. He is only 10 months old and does not understand that it's not nice so to reinforce the fact is a good place to start :) Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 11/03/2009

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this sounds drastic but what finally worked with my son was to hit him back. no harder than the usual spanking, usually on the upper arm. time outs are a good idea but if he is as stubborn and independant as my boy, they may not make an impact. i did the same when he started hitting his sister in the head with toys. i'd take the toy from his hand and bop him on the head explaining that it hurts and not to do it again. he ended his hitting within a week. don't hit back with anger though, that is not a good lesson to teach. if you choose this method remember that it only takes enough to sting for a second for him to realize that its not nice to be hit. again this is a drastic measure of learning and i hope time outs or something less severe work well for you.

Lize - posted on 11/03/2009

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You know the saying, "You gotta be cruel to be kind"? That's what will work here. I also struggled with my son with the same problem. It's simple. When he hits your, immediately put him on the ground and walk away from him. He will cry, he'll be upset. It will be quite a shocker. Just make sure that you are consequent. Do it every time he hits you. Within a week he will know not to do that.

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