My 4 month old wants to be held all the time! how can I break him out of this?

Helena - posted on 04/03/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )




My 4 month old loves to be held and when we (me and my hubby) put him down after we have made sure he is fed, burped, changed, well rested, and played with he screams. We have a 4 year old we need to do things with as well. I am sure its temporary, but I need some input. Oh to mention my hubby has them during the day when my big boy is not in school and I have them at night ( we work different shifts). ANY INPUT?


Jamie - posted on 04/03/2009




My daughter did this, and its actually bad for thier development to hold them all the time. Try different activities. I would put my daughter in her jumperoo for a bit, then on the floor under her baby gym, then in her bouncy seat. i would just move her to different things about every 15 mins. If she started crying I would go console her and show her the toys but I wouldnt pick her up. Id go through the cycle once then pick her up and play with her for 15 mins then start again. This worked with both my kids.

Chet - posted on 08/29/2014




I completely agree with the baby carrier suggestion below. Physical touch, the motion of a warm body, the sound of language... that's the best thing for your infant's development right now. He wants to be carried and held because that's how his brain and his body are wired to learn.

We had four kids born in the span of five and a half years. I used baby carriers, I learned to do stuff with one hand, I let some stuff slide, and when friends and relatives visited they got to hold, carry and talk to the baby as much as they wanted while I showered and did any of the things I needed both hands and a full range of motion for.


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Katy - posted on 08/28/2014




Its so tough at that age bc they need to be held and everyone says you can't spoil an infant but I do think they get used to being held nonstop. Cant you blame him haha! Our LO got used to this too and at night she would cry for us when we put her in the crib. We started to use the zipadee zip sleep sack and she loved it! She felt super cozy & secure and it really helped with this issue for us.

Krystal - posted on 08/26/2014




Let the baby cry! Don't give in! Babies are very smart and know how to play on you intelligence. It won't hurt them to cry, but they have to learn. If your child was in daycare or a babysitter, they would let them cry because no one can hold your child all day, not even you because you have things to do, you'll never be able to find a sitter while you go out for enjoyment because no one wants to hear that crying! When people spoil their babies, the baby is the on suffering, because he/ she will cry!!

Emily - posted on 04/03/2009




Do it a little at a time. Make certain you are interacting with him when he is not in your arms. He might like a swing or a toy but probably won't like anything for more thatn 5-15 minutes and that is okay just pick him up when he gets upset. Once he can sit he'll probably be happier with his surroundings and content to be on his own for short amounts of time. At four months old it is absolutely developmentally appropriate to be held all the time.

Heather - posted on 04/03/2009




I loved bouncy seats for this problem. I could put the bouncer near me, while i was washing dishes or folding laundry or whatever needed to be done, she could still see me and know i didn't leave her. I nthe beginning crying is going to occur, but try to comfort her without picking her up each time. A soothing voice and a gentle touch goes a long way. I know this is tough, but it will make life easier once you get through it.

Heather - posted on 04/03/2009




u jus gotta let him cry. i did that to my son, hes now 1 1/2 yrs old held him all the time, when he cried in his crib i'd put him in my arm n in my bed with me.. yeah, now i cannot put this lil monster down at all. if i gotta sitter and wanna go out, im back in like 2 hours cuz my son wont stop crying looking for me.
def a habit u wanna braek outta, unless u dont mind holding him all the time

Jamie - posted on 04/03/2009




My son is almost 10 months and when he started sitting up and playing with his toys we would just leave the room.. not to where we couldn't hear him or see him.. but i would go to the kitchen and do dishes. He would cry and be upset that no one was right next to him.. it sucked doing it but now we can sit on the couch and watch tv and he will play by himself for over an hour and not even care if we are there or not.. i think this is kind of on the lines of what people say about self soothing. Now at night when he starts to get tired we can just put him in his crib and he goes to sleep on his own without crying or anything. I don't really know if what we did just made him more independant or if he would have done it anyway but that ismy suggestion.

Tandi - posted on 04/03/2009




may i suggest a baby carrier? i know it is the complete opposite idea here, but those things are soo effective, and they free up your hands so you can do other things. there are ones that just strap the baby to the chest, can be worn by either partner, and have lower lumbar support so you barley feel the extra weight.

we used one of these and my little girl just slept soundly or was jsut so content and calm to hole time she was in it. i say enjoy the stage when they want to be held because it is over before y ou know it! my little girl is now 7 months old, and she is just WAY too busy to be bothered to cuddle with mom now lol

or there are also all kinds of swings out there. a swing also did wonders to keep mine calm when i had to pump and couldnt "wear" her

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