my boyfriends had enough

L.Maria - posted on 04/15/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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my emotions have been every where since i got pregnant they havnt evened out at all in the 3rd trimester my nearly 2 year old daughter bounced with me through it all

treating her father with distaine when i did and coldness when i did nw my

bf is fed up when i left to cool off at my moms house get some laundry don he moved his co- worker in and told me i was no longer welcome and i needed to get our daughters stuff out so this girl could move in

im so mad and confused i feel regret and i need to keep a smile on for my kids

10 Comments

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Tiffany - posted on 04/17/2009

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That's terrible! I honestly believe it is better to go through it now, rather than much later. My daughter's father (now ex husband) stuck around throughout the entire pregnancy, but he was never really there. He was rarely ever home and I wasn't working because of how sick I was which was HIS choice to have me not work. He had me quit my job and moved us 4 hours away from any friends or family. He then stayed out and was gone for long periods of time left me in a house with no food, no access to money, he'd leave me with nothing. He also didn't pay the water bill and utilities a few times and left me there to fend for myself. He didn't think he should have to buy anything for the arrival of the child because he said that's what baby showers are for. He wasn't even there for her birth. When I was released from the hospital all he did was yell at me at the house. He was gone for a week for work and left us with nothing. I had to return things I had received from my baby shower just to buy formula for her. There's a lot more to the story.... Years of mental, physical and emotional abuse by him but anywas....I kicked him out when she was 3 weeks old and I have never looked back. I have no regrets and you shouldn't either. You haven't done anything wrong. What he did was wrong. You need to ask yourself if you really want your kids raised in that kind of environment or someone with those kind of morals. I know I sure as hell didn't want my daughter raised thinking it was ok to be treated like that by any man.

User - posted on 04/17/2009

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The father of my little boy walked out on me when he was 2 days old, my first night at home with him because Alex was crying. I took him back again and again because I thought that was the best thing for me and my child but it wasnt. He has other children who he has only recently started seeing again. It hurts and its hard but I am happier without him. I hope you hav good friends and family to rely on and remember you will get through this and hav a beautiful baby to love. Its his loss.

L.Maria - posted on 04/16/2009

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thank you all for the kind words and advce



its good to get an outside look at whats happining to me

my daughter is starting to perk up from the lack of negativity

she is missing her dad though

as for the girl living in her room i have no idea really whats going on between them

his lack of comunication on it makes me fear the worst

Helen - posted on 04/16/2009

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My fella was like "I can't wait for you to come out of the 'crazy' stage" and I can completely understand that partners would feel this, but your man has treated you appallingly!! You need to confront him with a neutral friend to make arrangements for his part of the child care arrangements (of lack of) - don't stand for being treated this way.....!!

Amie - posted on 04/15/2009

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That's pretty childish of him. I can understand him getting upset and fed up with the emotions, I got fed up with my own when I was pregnant, but to boot you out whilst pregnant and with another one already? Behind your back? That's something else.
I don't even know where to begin without sounding snarky or jaded. He is definitely not worth the effort if he's willing to let it all go for hormonal emotions that are almost done with anyway. My fiance absolutely hates it when I'm pregnant, I'm the same way you are. I get very turbulent emotions and I'm not always crying, sometimes I about rip his head off. He knows it's not me though and stood by me. Seeing our little ones being born made up for all of it he says. Some guys need a good swift kick and a reality check... it's not all about them, being pregnant is hard enough on women without putting up with crap like that.
Move forward with your life as best you can. It's ok to be upset about this, any one would be. So take the time you need to grieve over it and then set it aside and take care of yourself and your babies. They deserve your attention and love, this guy doesn't.

[deleted account]

that is absolutely horrifing. Honestly, yes, it sucks, but HE is the father, and as the father part of his job is to support you and his children. He failed that test miserably. And I know you don't want to hear this, probably, but really, if that's how he is, he should be as far away from the babies as possible. and you need someone who will love and support you for everything. My boyfriend -- well, he thinks im looney but he puts up with it because Im that important to him, and because the baby im carrying is his and That means something to him. I dont know if this is helpful, but I really dont think this guy is worth the time it takes to be angry.

Nicole - posted on 04/15/2009

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oh huge hugs sent out to you. I agree at least you found out now rather than be left with a brand new baby. I can only say try to keep smiling and think of the amazing event in a couple of weeks

Hayley - posted on 04/15/2009

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men dont understand the changes that happen when a woman is pregnant, and because they can never feel any of it, it makes it harder for them.. at the end of the day he shouldnt have done what he did, but if he is able to throw it all away over emotions then its it really worth it, let him see the your kids and take it from there. dont regret anythin it will make it harder for you and your kids,



take care

Emily - posted on 04/15/2009

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That's terrible. It's good you found out now what a mean person he is and not two weeks post partum. I wish there was something I could say to help make it easier but I think time is the only thing that might be able to do that. Stay strong for those babies!

Rachel - posted on 04/15/2009

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Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear it...he needs to be more understanding. Is he in a relationship with this co-worker? Or is he just helping her out for a while? I can't believe he would do this to his own kids, too....If you want to talk just let me know. You shouldn't regret anything, just remember that.  Your kids will probably realize that something is wrong sooner or later. We don't all have to be super moms. Perhaps explain to them that there is some sort of rough patch going on, without bashing dad?  I'm no expert of course...but I wish you the best of luck. god bless

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