My Children and my step children

Sarah - posted on 06/16/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Okay I'm a 23 year old mother of a three year old little girl and a 2 month old little girl. I have two step daughters 11 and 8. This might sound horrible but I can't stand them! I met there father 4 years ago. I never had a problem with them till now. There mother is a piece of work. She is strung out on pain pills. Not to mention she always needs money she is on disability for crashing her car drunk! Yeah.. She gets that check food stamps Medicaid and money under the table and she gets 500 a month from my husband. And lives with her mom and pays 400 a month and only other bill is her phone! And still asks for more. As for us we are a one Income household with two children two car payments and house payment and others. But my problem is she tells her kids he is a piggy bank. They always go home crying to her saying how mean we are and how we don't let them do anything. It's always a issues. The only time they are happy is when we take them to do things and we spend money on them. I'm so tired of it. They are so mean to my three year old! The oldest just said last weekend she never wanted to come back. I was happy if you don't want to listen and deal with our rules then don't. but he told their mother he would take them shopping so she is here. I don't know what to do its coming between me and my husband. Not to mention he thinks that should just love them like I love my girls and I can't they aren't mine.

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Alisha - posted on 06/16/2013

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They are playing the typical divorce game pit the parents against each other. It does sound bad that you don't like them but I think it is more you don't like the way they act. The home life they have with there mom is very unstable and the only stability they do have is around you and I think don't understand that what you guys are giving them is stability. They do need a better motherly role in their lives and you seem to be it. I am sorry that they are playing that game with you guys but I find it sad that he feels like he has to take his girls shopping to make them feel loved by him. When you walked into his life I think you already knew the situation about the kids and you walked into it the oldest is hitting puberty and who knows how she is treated by others at school and by their mom when they are home seeing as the mom is full of pain pills. I really don't know what advised to give you other then to sit the kids down and lay they law out to them and tell them pretty much what you said here. Just leave out the I hate you part. Cause all that will do is cause more problems and could even end your marriage no one likes to hear I hate your kids. Or as a child I hate you. Ask them what does their mom tell them about there dad when you guys aren't around? and tell them to be honest the kids could very well be taking advantage of the situation. I know I seem to be repeating myself but as you said until now things were great and smooth so something has to be going on for them to start doing this. What have you been doing with them you said you just had another baby they could be jealous of yet another change in the house. There dad left them started another family, their mom seems to be a drug addict and a danger to society and one is starting puberty..that is a lot to take in and the wreck their mom was in sounds to be pretty bad for her to be disable so, in their eyes they almost lost her. Just do what you can is all I can say you loved them before and to think you have two girls of your own who will one day go though puberty so think of this as training for the others. Not to say that your little girls will be like that but puberty and society today doesn't mix well. If nothing else call a free counseling hotline for advice about what to do with the kids. Just remember in a way your making your husband choose between his families and that is a real tough place to put him, he is obviously desperate to see his kids and not many dads do what he is doing.

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