my eldest son seems to have to do the opposite of everything i ask him. everythings a battle, i end up shouting then feel like crap???? help!!!

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User - posted on 04/15/2009

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thanks 4 the advice guys, he'll be 4 this sept 6th. hes a lovely boy - very headstrong tho!! my partner and i really appreciate the advice thanks again x

User - posted on 04/15/2009

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What is he gaining from the situation?? Attention, power, control? Take a step back. Remove your emotion from the situation, then evaluate what the issue is. "What is he trying to gain?" If it's attention don't give in to negative attention. Quickly redirect and find something to give him posotive attention. If it is control give many choices throughout the day but be constant and stand your ground. For instance; Say you give your child a choice of what they would like for breakfest, egg or cereal. He chooses cereal. But half way though desides that he doesn't want the cereal. (This is the part where you don't give in) The choice was cereal. Say, you can have your cereal you choose or you can wait until lunch. leaving it at that. Now know once anyone starts a "New disiplane policy" I child will resist to test boundries. (throw fits) Be strong and know whatever you choose as your disapline policy... you know best because you are the mom.
The best example I have ever experianced was consistancy.

Maura - posted on 04/15/2009

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Well how old is he? Try keeping him really busy and give him all kinds of "important" jobs to do throughout the house and yard. Try reverse psychology and start doing the opposite too. Whatever you do...keep your cool. This is very hard but so important, otherwise he will start to feed off of the negative response. Ask him if he needs a hug. Sometimes they are just feeling frustrated and think about it, their support network is really small. Just mommy and daddy. They can't get on the phone and call up their friends if they are having a rough one.

Gemma - posted on 04/15/2009

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how old is your son?

i have a four year old who has his own mind and doesnt like 2 listen or do as he told last nite i was so fed up with him after spending all day taking him to the pictures and buying him prsents he started playing up so i took everything away i had got him whilst we were out and made a reward chart if he good he can earn them back.



i no how it fels wen u shout at them then feel guilty ive done that maybe if you try a reward chart it will help Cameron has be good 2day (so far) because he knows he isnt going to win the war and he wants his treats back.

hope this helps a little

Gemma - posted on 04/15/2009

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how old is your son?

i have a four year old who has his own mind and doesnt like 2 listen or do as he told last nite i was so fed up with him after spending all day taking him to the pictures and buying him prsents he started playing up so i took everything away i had got him whilst we were out and made a reward chart if he good he can earn them back.



i no how it fels wen u shout at them then feel guilty ive done that maybe if you try a reward chart it will help Cameron has be good 2day (so far) because he knows he isnt going to win the war and he wants his treats back.

hope this helps a little

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