My husband and I havnt been together for 2 months an I feel he's changed alot

Nancy - posted on 04/18/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been married for five months and I'm 6 months pregnant with our second child. He is starting to be disrespectful and every time he gets a chance he insults me and makes me feel bad. Today was the worst day. I told him I love him and I wanna try to make our marriage work but he says no an makes up excuses to not wanna face me to talk about it. I feel like he's with someone else already what can I do to forget him and move on???

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Ty - posted on 04/24/2013

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Nancy,
I can relate...I to loved someone who was hurting me..not in the same way that you are talking about your partner hurting you, but hurting me nonetheless. I failed in university, I changed into a miserable person, I tried stopping myself from feeling which made me a bad mother and friend. I sought counseling for myself and tried to fix what I thought was wrong with me. In the end we stayed together because I realized over a long period of time that it wasn't me it was him and me together ruining our relationship and love for one another, We still love each other and we struggle everyday to do better but we are in this together and thats what keeps me going because we are working together. It sounds like you really love this guy and want to be with him but you want him to stop hurting you. Only he can decided when he is ready to stop and the only person's behavior you can change is your own even your emotional reactions to him. Try your best to build up your own inner self. Are you spiritual at all? If so..you know that you have God inside of you and your made in God's image so when you are suffering reach into yourself to God to find the strength you need to keep going and to comfort yourself. It's the only thing that has helped me. No one is going to meet all your needs emotionally..so meet them yourself with God.

t

Alisha - posted on 04/20/2013

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You definitely need to talk about it. That's tough if he doesn't want to. I wouldn't make any quick decisions, have you asked him what's bothering him so much? He won't respond? Did he say he is with someone else or are you just guessing? I would tell him you need honest answers so you know what's going on. I would not be mean to him back, that will just make it easier for him to be mean to you.

Ty - posted on 04/18/2013

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If what you want is to move on there are a lot of options there. Some women abrupbtly leave, others make a plan to get there education or get on financial footing before leaving, and others start having an affair, and many other things. Are you sure you want your marriage to end? If not...I'd seek counseling. I don't know him, but if he was different before and started to change and be like this...then maybe something is going on with him...maybe you both need to go to counseling together. Your a family and I think working things out is better than walking away from something you have invested so much in. Btw...I am in a seven year relationship...we just got engaged and things are far from perfect....sometimes when we fight or don't get along I think about if I want to walk away...but I remember that I love him...and I want to be with him...only you know what you want in your heart...life is about the choices we make and make sure yours is grounded in who you are and where you are trying to go.

good luck

t

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Ty - posted on 04/25/2013

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:-) I am happy you feel encouraged! What your going through seems so hard...if you ever want to talk just inbox me...good luck.

ty

Nancy - posted on 04/25/2013

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Ty,
Thankyou very much for everything... I mean that from the bottom of my heart, thankx to your words I feel very encouraged an better know an just like you said I will be seeking counseling an i will let God be my strength continue focusing on my schooling and kids an just let time speak for itself!

Nancy - posted on 04/23/2013

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Thankyou Ty for you advice it is very helpfull an encouraging and your right no matter how much it hurts me an how much I love him I must keep strong if possible stronger than ever for myself and my kids, but it is just so hard to accept that every tear every sacrifice and all the hard work ive done to support him mentally, emotionally and economiclly is going down the drain, I just wish my life could be as simple as his and just like him say its over and move on but saddley I do have a heart and I do have feelings and I do care, I know later on hes goin to wanna come around when my babys born but I want to be strong when that day comes an be as cold blooded as hes being know an say no your too laite I needed you three months ago an you laughed insulted an walked out on me and your kids so leave an laugh just like you did then.

Nancy - posted on 04/23/2013

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Alisha, yes I have asked him many many times an he keeps making up more and more excuses every time an Ive honestly grown tired of the excuses i have been trying everything that I can to try to save my marriage but saddley nothing I do is good enough for him an I just always end up humilliated and insulted by him, I just need to know how I can just accept the fact that my marriage is over an that I must be strong and move on with my kids an pregnancy alone as a single mother, this baby will be hear soon and I can already tell you that when im close to my due date I know hell wanna talk to me but just like he doesnt care know I want to be able to be ready an know how and what I should do an say when those days are hear??

Ty - posted on 04/19/2013

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Ok, so now your adding more details. One of which he basically says he is done and doesn't want to continue the relationship. Personally...I would go about my business getting my life together, I wouldn't even attempt to reconcile on my on...now if he decided to stop being as asshole and start acting right maybe I would consider talking to him but in the mean time I would get my educational, financial, and parental life on track for myself and my kids. I would not spend anymore time texting, pleading, or trying to get him to show me he loves me or cares for me and the kids. I would leave him alone. All of what I just said is extremely hard, you love him obviously...but you need to love your kids and yourself too. You are heading the family now because he has bolted emotionally out of it..do what you have to honey...we all are in our own ways doing what we have too.

t

Nancy - posted on 04/19/2013

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Ive tryed to do everything i can to try to work things out but hes just making up excuses he says weve hurt eachother too much an he doesnt wanna see me, we have a son together an im expecting another baby girl im 6 months pregnant an he hasnt been around not even once since we split up weve been together for four years already an ive always been there for him even when he lied to me an i found out he had dated a 17 year old girl in these four years hes been in jail most of the time or he just be out partying an doing drugs all kinds of girls an guys I love him so much that ive always forgave him an tryed my best to be there for him but i dont know whats going on with him that hes just mean everytime i txt him, he never answers my calls an when i tell him i love him he just seems to throw me off the plain saying watever i dont believe you, yestearday he txtd me the most hurtfull thing ever i asked him why are you like this why cant you tell me you love me or be atleast abite nicer to me are you with someone already please be honest an tell me whats wrong an he answerd TO BE HONEST I WISH I WAS WITH SOMEONE ALREADY, dat broke my heart i told him i hope god doesnt punish you later on in life for hurting the only real and honest thing in your life that is your wife and kidz and he responded with a laugh an said aaww poor victum... please mothers help an talk to me give me your advice an honest oppinions on what i should do an how i can get through this heart break an relationship!!

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