My husband left me last week.

Betsy - posted on 07/03/2009 ( 85 moms have responded )

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My husband left me last week, and I want to go back to school and get a part time job. My mom will watch the kids for me. Do you think this will be too hard for me to do??





Hey!! Just wanted to update you all, and say thank you for all the support. I have since learned that my husband moved in with another woman, straight from my house, so him leaving was a blessing. I have started going back to church, and I'm loving it, I know God can see me through. I learned that my mom can't get paid by 4c's, (government funding) to watch my children if we live in the same house, so I will be sending my 3 beautiful little girls to daycare, they are 6, 5, and 2. I have to either work part-time and go to school part-time, or go to school full time in order to receive 4c's, also, so I am going to work part time, and go to school part time to eventually get my RN.



Thank you all so very much. Your comments really helped, and meant alot to me.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jennifer - posted on 07/03/2009

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Go for it!

It is the BEST feeling seeing your name with -undergraduate or what have you next to it..its a real confidence boost.

you'll inspire yourself, your kids and those around you.

Lorraine - posted on 07/03/2009

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nope in fact I think it is excellent. as long as you are organized you can do anything. and having the support of your mother is a real nice bonus. there is never anything wrong with furthering your education. you would be a good example to your children if you did this. Also most universities have work opportunities on campus such as tutering or even food services and because they are on campus they usally pay pretty good. I know even the A&W resturant on our campus pays like $14.50 per hour when our minimum wage is 9 something. my husband did tutering on campus for $20/hour.

It is great that you want to live your life and do something for your self.

good luck!

Sarah - posted on 07/03/2009

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Not at all if its what you really want and if you have the support of your family you'll be fine. Sorry to hear that your husband left but at the end of the day it might be the incentive to get you going and to do this for yourself and your kids. Best of luck!!!!

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85 Comments

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Kacey - posted on 07/13/2009

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you can do anything you commit to do! dont let your husband leaving you determine who you are and what you do with your life. Im not saying it will be easy but there are plenty of single moms out there that are attending college and working. perhaps if your are afraid it will be too much for you, you could look into online classes rather than actually attending a college. where there's a will there's a way.

[deleted account]

Hello, you can do iT! I started studying part time last year (1 course for semester..then 2) and I am going Full time on sept 2009 while also working part time(4 days). Some days are pretty stressfull, but the fight is so worth it. You will end up with a better paying job for the rest of your life =). You can do iT!!!!!!! and my mother helps me everyday from morning until afternoon which is a HUGE help..

Amelia - posted on 07/10/2009

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I am a single mom, a full time student, and I work 30hrs + a week. It is totally do-able. My parents help out a lot with my son. Some days you will want to pull your hair out and others will seem like a breeze. Know that many have walked the path before you so you are not alone. Keep your chin up and keep pressing forward.

Jenn - posted on 07/09/2009

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No! And try to see it as a blessing! Remember as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death. ( Are low points) There cant be a shadow with out light!! You can do it!

User - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hang in their I am a single mom of two and I have been for 9 years. A man doesn't compete you, When I was going through hard times I simply looked to the only man that could fulfill all His promises and be faithful through everything, His name is Jesus Christ I am not on here to throw religion at you but I do wanna encourage you to seek Him because He is the best and most faithful God, and He excepts us for who we are and will never leave us no matter how many times we fall short. I will be praying for you.

Sonia - posted on 07/09/2009

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Don't think of it as hard before you even start it. think of it as something positive and that is best for you. I had two children when i went back to school and got my degree. it is different than if you were single with no kids but not difficult if you set your mind on wanting to go back to school and stay with that positive thinking, you will accomplish it.

Katie - posted on 07/09/2009

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Girl as long as you put your mind to it, you can do it! My mom did it with 4 of us after my dad left! I am certain you can do it to. Also, I don't know your situation or if you're a christian but if you are, you have to work at it. He may have left but don't just jump into a divorce. It is very hard on your kids and the bible says "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:32 so if you are a christian pretty much you are supposed to try to work it out no matter what. You are in my prayers!

Ginger - posted on 07/09/2009

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It will feel absolutely impossible at first but you can totally do it!!! I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and when I left my husband last year and moved in with my parents, I felt like a total failure. Now I am working fulltime, starting classes in the fall and buying a house all by myself and the feeling of absolute independence is indescribable! My kids are surrounded by family and doing better than ever and the lame-o ex is still living in a one bedroom apartment across the country (where he is probably safer! J/K) Also, the busier you can stay, the easier things will be. Don't dwell on the past, move forward to an even more amazing future!!!

Britta - posted on 07/08/2009

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Not at all.... that's gr8t you ll have the support from your mom. MOM's are the best!!! Sometimes things may feel stressful, but God doesn't give you more then you can handle...Im not religious like that, but I've been told lots of times and believe it. Be strong make the best for you and your babies. Best Luck to ya

Andrea - posted on 07/08/2009

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I know for a fact that you can do it. It will be hard, trust me. I left my husband last year and took the kids with me. We have three boys and i am now a full time college student, half way to my associates in applied science, and i work part time, and i am a great mom. It will all be worth it in the end. I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time, and i'm sure you're sick of hearing that things happen for a reason but they do. This too shall pass, and now is the time to focus on your children and you. A woman can do anything that she puts her mind to. Hang in there.

User - posted on 07/08/2009

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Not at all…it will be a bit of a challenge to balance everything but if this is what you want and believe in yourself you will be ok. Some time there may not be anyone around to give you a pick me up so you will have to learn to be your own cheerleader. I am a single mom of a nine month old baby girl. Her father has decided not to help. I work full time and go to school full time. At least you have your mother to help. I have no help and I’m making it. Plus the school money helps me out and I get day care ass for being a student.

Stephany - posted on 07/08/2009

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No. My husband left me and I am now in school at Owens and I got a grant to go plus I work part-time at a hospital. You can do it.

Trisha - posted on 07/08/2009

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Your gonna have your ups and downs but just think of not only what you'll be doing for yourself but also what you'll be teaching your kids. No matter how hard things get you have to hold your head hight and keep on going. Good luck you can do it

Mary - posted on 07/08/2009

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Darling just go for it. Good on you for wanting to do something with your life after the terrible time. Just remember that you are always a mother first and make sure you make plenty of time for them. I hope that you succeed.

Samantha - posted on 07/08/2009

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I think you should go back to school if that's what you want. I am a navy wife and I was without my husband for 9 months. I stayed with my mom while he was away but really I was raising 2 kids by myself and working a full time job. I think you will do just fine if you keep a positive attitude while your doing it.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/08/2009

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Absolutely not! I started college last year when my boyfriend was in jail out of town for getting in a fight at a theme park (stupid, I know). It was difficult but also very rewarding, especially if you look at it from the right perspective. You're now missing out on his household income, so going back to school to have a better career is a good thing for you to do.

Maggie - posted on 07/08/2009

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Sorry to hear that. Hope you are ok, however if that is what you want to do then I say go for it!!!!!!! If you have someone to watch your children then there is no reason why you can't expand your horizons! Go for it girl! Good Luck!

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2009

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im sorry about your husband. :( you can do it though! thats why god made us women strong! this is something that you have to do for your kids to live a good comfortable life! and dont just do it for them, do it for yourself!!! it will be hard, but so worth it in the end. awesome that your mom can help too. hang in there girl, because this will majorly pay off in the end! lots of luck to you and your family :)

Keira - posted on 07/08/2009

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I say go for it. Give yourself some time to heal, and get your life as it is now in order so when you take on a new responsibility it isn't such a huge change for you or your little one. Online classes will probably be the easiest transition, since you don't have to leave for a few hours at a time, and find a sitter every week (even if your mom is willing and able to help, it doesn't necessarily mean she'll be able to every single week).

It will be hard but there is always something hard about school (I finished my master's while pregnant....morning sickness and four hour classes don't mix well), and the best way to do it is to jump right in. As for working part time in addition, don't do it if you don't have to. If you need to in order to afford classes or rent, then it is a necessity, but if you can wait on that one responsibility, wait as long as you can.

Best of luck to you!

Alexandra - posted on 07/08/2009

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I am sorry, or maybe not so sorry for your loss. But I think that school will help you keep your mind focus on the now. You go girl!

EVI - posted on 07/08/2009

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hi,u do da best u can,,patient n nava give up...lol..coz u do for u kids,n suport from u family make u have more power to do thing in u life,sorry to hear u husband left,,gbu

[deleted account]

Do what you think will be best for your future, as well as your child's future. You will spend a lot of time studying and working on papers at night, so remember to spend some time for sleep and relaxation. You can do it! Good luck!

Cody - posted on 07/07/2009

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I did it! I never thought i could raise our son on my own, but i have for 2 years now and have been in school for one. You can do it!

Paige - posted on 07/07/2009

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relationships ending is never easy. I'm sorry to hear that. But when it comes to your studying i think its a great idea, you are not only bettering yourself, but also going to help with yours and your childrens future. I'm just about to start studying myself, your lucky you have you mum there to care for your kids too! It wont be easy, but it will get easier and be so worth it in the end! The best of luck to you!

Tameeka - posted on 07/07/2009

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it might be a little tuff at the beginning but you develop a system you willl do ggggrrreeaattt

Matthea - posted on 07/07/2009

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It will be hard but you can do it. My husband left in February and it has been very hard but if you want to go back to school you should do it. I have been thinking about going back myself but I am not quite ready for that yet, maybe next year. What do you want to go to school for?

Lucy - posted on 07/07/2009

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Just do it things will work out I went through nursing school with two boys and no husband there is so much help out there to help pay for it and lucky you you have a wonderful mom just like i do. I'm not going to say it wasn't har and I wanted to quit from time to time but I pulled through. And now I can provide a better life for my family. oh ya I didn't and still don't recieve child support, so don't count on that!!!

Michelle - posted on 07/07/2009

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Nope, wont be too hard at all. There is a lot of financial aid for single mothers out there. My husband and I seperated for over a year and almost got a divorce. I worked part time and got into nursing school. My family lives hundred of miles away. You can do anything that you put your mind to and I deeply respect the fact that you are looking ahead and trying to figure out how to improve your life rather than sitting in the problem...good for you and good luck!

Miranda - posted on 07/07/2009

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I'm very sorry. I have not gone thru it but I think as a lot of things it will be hard at first but I think you will get thru it!!! Having your mom there to help with help you out a lot since you will not have to pay for Child Care. And I don't know if you are going to be living with your mom but there are so many things out there to help you out. I don't know where you live but we have Benifits for single moms and people who need it...Medical help, tuition help, food help and even daycare help. This is the site for Wisconsin http://www.badgercareplus.org/ But whee you are they probably have it also. I don't know how old your children are but there is also WIC. I know they help up to the age of 5 years old!!! But check out they site and check with your state to see what they have to offer!!!

Debbie - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

No!!!
Definitely not too hard... I mean there will be hard days of course, but that's just the way of life.
Women need to realize we are stronger and more capable than we even know!!


 

Ronnie - posted on 07/07/2009

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no not at all, just be there 4 your kids and be happy!!! a happy mum makes happy children. it will be hard at first but do wat feels right 4 u and your family!!

Brittney - posted on 07/07/2009

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I have one daughter and it was hard for me to finish school but i want you to know that with support... it is definately possible! without my Mother In Law I never would have made it because she was always there and when she wasnt my mom was right there to pick up the slack... and with no hubby then there is no guilt about the things that won't get done around the house... :) It is possible and I believe that you can do it!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/07/2009

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You can do whatever you set your mind too. You have the support so you should be fine. I'm not saying its going to be easy, but if this is what you want, you can accomplish anything you set your mind too.

LISA - posted on 07/07/2009

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sad to say yes... but you got to do what you got to do for your kids... there really is no advice except try your best and work hard...but most of all try to keep patient

Louise - posted on 07/07/2009

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Kudos to your mom! I went back to college after my son was born thanks to my wonderful family & support system. Got a degree in cs, not some under water basket weaving degree. If you're going back to college, please note that some colleges market to you useless degrees that might not be helpful when you graduate. If you do go back to school, pick a degree that would help you and your kids in the long run. I wish you the best. You can do it!

Karla - posted on 07/07/2009

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I believe it will help you focus on you and your needs, it will help you be a better woman and therefore a better mom for your kids. Sorry to hear he left, but you gotta think everything happens for a reason and time will help you heal. Good luck with school!

Jessica - posted on 07/07/2009

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Mine left me and our 4 young children 9 months ago and I had no idea what I was going to do. If it's something you really want to do, then you can do it. It will be hard, but everything's hard! My only advice, it's only been a week, take your time, get yourself sorted before you make any big changes. Good luck

Angela - posted on 07/07/2009

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That doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.My fiancee left me a month ago and we are now working things out.During the time we were apart,I felt so lost and confused.I think its so great that you are wanting to do something to better yourself!It may take some getting used to but I'm sure the payoff will be worth it.Keeping busy will also help you to get through this time.Maybe start with one thing at a time and see how you handle it before you go all in with it all.Good luck to you, it sounds like you're headed in the right direction!

Nichole - posted on 07/07/2009

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You can do anything you set your mind to! I'm a single mom who lost my factory job when I was pregnant with my youngest so I decided to go back to school. I have two semesters down, two to go. It's hard at times but definitely worth it. You are bettering your life so you can take care of your kids in the long run. It helps if you have family/friends who support your decision and are willing to help you. There are grants out there for single moms and you can get assistance with daycare if needed. Good luck!

Emma - posted on 07/07/2009

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If you set your heart or mind on anything and really want it then it won't be hard. good luck

Carman - posted on 07/07/2009

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What in life isnt hard. Since your husband decided to leave, you need to step up to plate and go for it. With the help of your family, you can do it. Good luck to you!!!

Amy Marie Rose - posted on 07/07/2009

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Just do it. Don't let him hurt you and srew up your plans. Going back to school will totally get your mind off of that jerk and will in the long run help you to better support your family. The same thing happened to me. I know it is rough. There will be good days and bad days but just stay strong. Something good will come out of it. I promise.

Leanne - posted on 07/07/2009

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I say go for it girl! Be something that makes your soon to be x-husband say, what was I thinking. It is going to be tough, but what part of life isn't. As long as you put your mind to it...you can do anything. Best of luck to you!

Raven - posted on 07/06/2009

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NOPE....YOUR A WOMAN...U WERE MADE TO HANDLE THINGS....WHEN 1 DOOR CLOSES ANOTHER DOOR OPENS.....YOULL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME I'M SUCH A SCORPIO...BUT SINCE HE DECIDED TO B NASTY...AND SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE U SHOULD B TOO JUST A LITTLE...HIT HIS ASS WITH THAT LETS MAKE VERBAL AGREEMENTS ON WHAT HE'S GONNA PAY U EVERY MONTH....IF HE DOESNT SPEAK WOMAN....LOL...THAN MARCH RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE CHILD SUPPORT OFFICE....K.

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