My husband refuses to understand what being a new mom is like.

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

When we found out we were going to have a baby we talked about west we executed our new day to day life to be like. My life which has changed, i feel dramatically, his has stayed pretty much the same. My husband expects me to not only take care of our two month old full time, but do ALL the house work unassisted, finish school, and some how make money. He complains about the house, which we just moved into being messy. He complains if there isnt a hot meal ready when he gets home. He complains if i dont want to be intimate with a crying baby around, and he tells me im a bad mother if our son crys. He compares me to his mother, saying that if she could do it with 5 kids i can do it with one. I have talked to her and she says she never did all what he expects of me. He makes me feel like a bad wife. Some times he acts like our child isn't even his. I understand he works a 9 to 5 and makes all the money, but when he comes home all he does is get on the computer until he goes to sleep. I feel the pressure to take care of the house makes me neglect stimulating my son during the day. I can't wait for him to fall asleep so i can try to clean so when my husband comes home he doesn't tell at me. Im not abused, im just not given any help. I want him to be aline with a baby for a week straight and do everything he thinks i should. Then he would understand how hard i try. I'm starting to hate my life, but i still love my family.

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Stephanie - posted on 03/17/2014

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I kinda know how u feel but not exactly the same situation my fiancée does help with my 5 month old son (who still doesn't sleep through the night) but complains when the house isn't clean I'm the one who holds our son almost all day long n I tel him if u want the house clean offer to hold him so I can n he thinks I should just see the house is dirty n start cleaning well excuse me I am tired from holding a 18 lb crying baby all day. Know what I mean?

User - posted on 03/12/2014

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I had this problem with my partner when we first had my daughter (now 4) it was my first home away from parents and my first child, and for 6 months i was driven into the ground juggling the house work and baby!! What made it worse my partner wasn't even working. After 1 long day of tidying my entire house whilst juggling a 6 month old, when i finally got her settled i broke down & said we needed to talk cause i didn't tend on being a single mum whilst in a relationship!! After a couple of hours talking we finally set up a routine that worked. He would do night shifts one night and i mornings then the next we would switch, we took turn in doing nappies, and feeds and he did baths while i got her ready for bed. Now he works 8-5 the routine shifted, i now do most of the work but he comes in does baths/ bedtime and i make him choose between taking the dog out or doing dishes, at one point it got to the point of knocking his console off just to make him see i was serious (only had to do that once) so try talking to him about how you feel & that things need to change, i wish you good luck

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