My husband went to a wedding and didn't ask if I wanted to go. Should I be angry?

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

So my husband tells me on a Friday that he has to go to a wedding on the following Saturday. Very last minute! If you didn't notice he didn't say "we" had to go, he just said "he" did. So I ask him if he is planning on going alone and he says "I mean I guess." he never invites me and our two year old daughter. So I ask if me and our little girl are invited and he says, " well I don't even wanna go and it would be trouble with the baby." I just waited and figured he'd ask us if we wanted to get ready and go the day of because he can be very last minute but no here us two girls are sitting at home alone while he is out at the wedding. He said he'd only be gone for an hour well it's been two. I know this may not seem like a big deal to a lot of wives, but this happens all the time and he never wants us to go to events or doesn't tell me about them. He is in the military so we are 700 miles from home for his post and I have never been introduced to any of his friends and am a stay at home mom so it's hard to make my own. Should this whole situation make me angry because I am.

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Denikka - posted on 08/19/2012

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Taken as a single event, I agree with Brittany that it may have been something other than *wanting* you to come along or not. If the invite is made out to only one person and not to So and So and guest/family/etc, then it is usually only meant for that single person and to bring more would be rude. Weddings are frequently planned out to the last guest and any deviation can cost a lot of extra hassle and money for the wedding party.
More and more weddings (that I have heard of) are also now asking to be adult only, no children. That could also have been a factor.

But as only one event in a series, I would absolutely be right pissed off. Even in a case as mentioned above, I would be pretty ticked that I was told last minute. You need to talk to your hubby. Just sit him down, be calm, and spell it out for him. Or, like Lacieanne, plan trips without him. If he's not going to let you know until last minute, make the assumption that he's going to be off doing other things. When he asks why he didn't get to go, especially after something special or important, just explain that you never knew when he was going to be making last second plans, so it wasn't fair to assume that he was going to go and then be disappointed when he made other plans.

Lacieann - posted on 08/18/2012

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If this were me and a repetitive issue then I would start planning trips out without him. If you've talked to him about it and he doesn't care enough to change his behavior then you've got bigger problems than him not inviting you places.

[deleted account]

It would come down to how the invitation was written. I went to a wedding recently where the only children were those in the wedding party. Traditionally if there is just one name of the invitation it is meant for just that person to go.

If he didn't want to go, why did he?

I could see it as being frustrating. But with this being a repetitive issue, I could understand anger.

Have you tried talking to him about it when there isn't an even looming? Some men need things spelled out, they can be thick headed and just not see the obvious.

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