My mom wants to be in the delivery room??

Christle - posted on 03/03/2010 ( 151 moms have responded )

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Im pregnant with my 1st baby and my mom keeps telling she better be in the delivery room....Good idea to have her in there or is it better to just have my feiance in there??

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Sarah - posted on 03/05/2010

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It all depends on your relationship with your mom for my first son I had both my mom and my now ex mother in law in the room and I found having my mom who is also my best friend in the room helped.I had my mom in the room for my second son as well so I would say if you are close to her its a good idea if she is going to stress you out or fight with your man or whatever then tell her to wait in the waiting room.Good luck.

[deleted account]

I had my mom in the room the first time and if I could do that over I would have just told to her to wait in the hall! She drove me and everyone else nuts! She was not in the room when I had my other two and those were the easiest births I had. Good luck with the decision.

Rebecca - posted on 03/05/2010

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Base that decision solely on your comfort zone. Your fiance will get over his discomfort if she is there. Consider how your mom handles under pressure, is she a soothing force in your life during distress, or does she cause you to become more stressed? If she is someone who you depend on, have her there for support. Don't make the decision to have her there because she is saying "I better be there". The worst she can do is pout in the waiting room until that beautiful baby is born and then she'll forget she was ever mad.

Jasmine - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had to have my mom, we are close and shes been through it bf lol.. and i also had my boyfriend/babys daddy in there! I could not of done it if it was not for them, my grandma was also in there tell it was time to push!

Allia - posted on 03/05/2010

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I am an only child so everyone of my kids (I have three) was a big deal for my mother. She was there to witness all three. It was great. My husband was my support but my mother was there to witness and celebrate with us. You will want her there in the end.

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Dale - posted on 03/05/2010

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for my first i was not in a realationship, and i knew having my mom in there with me was a bad call as they (doc and nurses) would be picking her up off the floor, my support person ended up being my dad, i had a c-section and it was a really special moment for him to get to be the first to hold his first grandchild.

As for you decision that is your call, it might not be fair of your mom putting that kind of pressure on you but remember it's your call!

Francesca - posted on 03/05/2010

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You do whatever it is that you want to do. And of course you can always change your mind in the process. I don't know about the hospital you will be delivering in, but when I got there, the nurse asked me to list anyone I wanted in the room, or no one, and they would be the guards to the room (since my entire extended family decided to show up) and I was able to tweak that. And before the actual pushing started, I have many people in and out included all my brothers and sisters, their significant others, my parents, friends, my dad even called my aunts and uncles. But when it came time to push, the nurse got to be the bad guy and pushed everyone except my Dh, older sister, and my best friend :) And then let them back in after I was done pushing.



Some of my other siblings were upset they were not allowed in the room too, but the nurse used an excuse that there was too many people in the room and that the doctor wouldn't allow it (not true) but it kept me from having to be the bad guy and hurt anyone's feelings.



You have to do whatever it is that you think will make you the most comfortable. Your mother should understand that.



Congradulations and good luck.

Markie - posted on 03/05/2010

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Whatever u think is good for u, my mom hates my boys dad and with both my kids her and my babys dad were in the room and i was glad, they put problems aside for a special ocassion and they are the 2 most important people in my life.

Erica - posted on 03/05/2010

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i had my mom in the delivery room with both of my kids and she was my biggest support, but my hubby was not the greatest with seein all the "bloody" stuff either.. i think that it makes more of a connection for ur mom as well...

Sheryll - posted on 03/05/2010

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Its completely up to you no one else can make you have or not have who you you want in the room with you.I was unable to have my mum in the room physically as she had passed away but im sure she was there spiritually.My aunty wanted to come in the room and I was originally going to let her but when I was pregnant I had a reading done and it came up that my partner wanted it to be just us but didnt want to say anything. So it did ended up just us 2 and the midwives.I think you should do what you feel is right.Good luck

Andrea - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my mom and husband there. I was glad my mother was there to see my daughter be born!! But of course it your choice and if your comfortable having your mother there, then go for it!!

Rose - posted on 03/05/2010

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My sister and my hubby and my mother in law was in there it is totally up to you.

Kim - posted on 03/05/2010

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If your mom will be calm, supportive, and helpful then yes she should be there. if she will raise your blood pressure and put you on edge then no she should not be there. only you know what your relationship is like.



I had my mom and sister there because they both have gone through this and are very supportive and positive. I was very happy that they could both make it. (my labor was very quick for a first pregnancy.)

Stephanie - posted on 03/05/2010

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When I had my first child I had my fiance and my grandmother which is basically my mother in there. I wanted her in there with me because I was nervous it was my first time going through that. But now I am pregnant with my second and this time I am just going to have my fiance in there with me. Honestly this is a decision that you have to decide if it is a good idea or not. Just remember its whatever you want and don't worry about anybody else's feelings because this is your and your new baby's day!!! Congrats on your first baby!!!

Breanna - posted on 03/05/2010

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I wouldn't of made it through labor if my mom wasn't there in the delivery room with me. My husband ended up passing out because he couldn't handle seeing me in pain, so I am very glad my mom was there with me.

Hannah - posted on 03/05/2010

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I didn't have my mom in the delivery room, but I would give anything to have her there (she passed away). But I did have my 3 sisters and my Doula. My daughter's Dad was unable to be there do to his work, but it was a great bonding experience with my sisters.

Wendy - posted on 03/05/2010

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I didnt have my mom in the room for the birth of my first child because she was out of town but was very glad to have her there for the birth of my second. I found that she was giving the kind of support that my husband couldnt give, only because shes a mom too!! Good Luck!!

Kerry - posted on 03/05/2010

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Its is all up to your personal preference. Whatever will make you most relaxed is what you should do. For fmy son my boyfriend and I decided against having anyone in the room. While I was going through labor my boyfriend and I decided to change our minds. It was not as stressful as i had anticipated and I was handling the pain very well and was rather relaxed. We ended up having both my mother and my father in the delivery room. I am now pregnant with my second child who is due in June and once again we have decided to not have anyone in the delivery room. That all may change once again. But, just be open minded and don't be afraid to speak up for what you want. Your doing all the work, so you should be comfortable.

Ally - posted on 03/05/2010

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It really depends on what YOU are comfortable with. It is your baby, your body and a memory that you will have for the rest of your life. Consider the relationship you have with your mom... are you close, does she create stress for you?

When I had my son it was just my husband and I in the delivery room but once he was born, they cleaned me up and I was learning to breastfeed they brought in my mom. My husband left the room so that he could get my hospital room all ready for me. My mom, my son and I were able to have some wonderful bonding time that I will always remember. But it really is what you are most comfortable with.

Jenifer - posted on 03/05/2010

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note: I have not read the other posts.



If you have to decide, definately the fiance (if you are going to stay with him, and he's the daddy) no offense intended. He has a right to see his own kid being born. Otherwise, your mom. She'll only get one chance to see her grandchild be born.

Melissa - posted on 03/05/2010

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my mother insisted on being in the room when i had my oldest child... i wasnt keen on the idea and didnt have the heart to say no at the time.. now i really wish i had... i regret having her in there. having your first child, to me. should be an experience just for the new mom and (dad if applicable) my mother also wanted to see my twin boys born... but luckily i was forced to have them c section so she wasnt allowed in the room anyway, and i didnt have to be the one to tell her NO WAY..lol in all seriousness... the babys grandparents have all the time in the world to bond and spend time with baby... to me, the birthing experience should be special just for the babys parents.good luck with whatever you decide!

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2010

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Do whatever feels right to you! I only had my husband with me, but it's a personal choice. I think it's sweet your moms being so enthusiastic about it... Good luck, best wishes!!

Marissa - posted on 03/05/2010

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My mom and husband were both there. I knew from the beginning I wanted her there. She's such a rock to me and I knew that nothing in the world would make her happier than to watch her first grandbaby come into the world and I wanted to give her that gift because she gave me the gift of life. So she watched and helped "down there" and my husband was by my side holding my hand and feeding me ice chips. I didn't want him anywhere near down there and he was fine with that. lol

Roxann - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my husband and mother. My mother inlaw tried getting in but I had the doctor keep her out. It's a personal matter. You have to decide what is best for you and the best part is if you change your mind tell them to leave while your there.

Marissa - posted on 03/05/2010

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My mom and husband were both there. I knew from the beginning I wanted her there. She's such a rock to me and I knew that nothing in the world would make her happier than to watch her first grandbaby come into the world and I wanted to give her that gift because she gave me the gift of life. So she watched and helped "down there" and my husband was by my side holding my hand and feeding me ice chips. I didn't want him anywhere near down there and he was fine with that. lol

Katie - posted on 03/05/2010

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With my first, I had originally planned on allowing my mother and also my mother-in-law...but about halfway through my pregnancy, my husband and I looked at each other and were like, "wait, this is about US starting OUR new family." We decided that what WE really wanted was to have it be a milestone in OUR relationship and family...yes, your mother has been there for you forever, and his has for him, and whatnot...but in the end this comes down to what YOU and YOUR FIANCE want...Personally, I'm thankful that I didn't have a 3-ring circus going on in my delivery room, as I've been a coach for friends who had pretty much their entire family in with them...I am SO thankful that my husband and I got that bonding experience--when all you have is him to lean on while bringing your first child into the world together, it causes for some MAJOR bonding and mutual respect! If he's watching your mom help you like she likely does with a lot of things in your life, it's much of the same...I say give him the opportunity to be the ONE, the ROCK that he's supposed to be! But like I said before, it's ulitimately up to YOU GUYS! Talk it over. Decide what the two of you have for expectations of the experience and go from there as far as deciding how to achieve that. And remember, it's NOT just you going through it. The pain, sure. But this is one of the biggest days of HIS life, too. Make sure it's memorable, special, and perfect for both of you! Good luck!

CJ - posted on 03/05/2010

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It really depends on how you feel about it. I had decided I wanted my fiance and my stepmom in the room (my mom lives out of state and was unsure she'd be there in time), and nobody else. But when it actually happened, my dad ended up being there too, once your in labor, your thinking much more about getting the baby out than who's there with you. I just knew I didn't want a whole crowd of people, my stepsister had a ton of family and friends in the delivery room with her at my nieces birth.

[deleted account]

My mom was the same. I told her no. It really is up to you, but for me I felt this was a special time for me and my husband. The birth of OUR first child. She had four, she had her time in the room.

Kelli - posted on 03/05/2010

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I'm not reading the other posts... when I was pregnant I learned through other's experiences that I needed to make it clear who was in the hospital room and who wasn't. I wanted my mom and my husband, that's all. I wanted my mom b/c, well, who else do you want when your hurting?? The difference-- I think-- between your mom and mine, is my mom wasn't going to come in the delivery room until I invited her... your mom sounds like she is just expecting to be there. You know your mom- is she pushy, overbearing controlling?? If so you probably don't want her to be in the room when you're going through it all, my mom isn't any of those things, and I still wanted to slap her when I was in the final stages, but if you think she'll help you then I say let her. Also- you might talk to your fiance about it, would he be comfortable in that situation with your mom there? It is a pretty intimate experience for the 2 of you- in my opinion. Its your decision. Whatever you do make sure you decide before the time comes, alot of my friends didn't and wound up with mom dad grandparents, siblings, cousins,aunts uncles, friends, and everyone else in their delivery rooms-- not cool! Good luck! Congrats on the little one!

Amanda - posted on 03/05/2010

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it all depends on how close you are with your mom. if your close than it will be a great bonding experiance and a great memory. if not it will be miserable. Good luck.

Ps my mom was in there with both my kids and i ended up yelling at her both times cuz of the pain..

Stacey - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my mom and my husband in the delivery room and when I deliver again it will be the same. The main reason I had my mom there was because me and my mom are very close, and I am her baby. My mom never once got in my hair or made me upset throughout the entire time I was in labour. It was also nice because when my husband (who has a weak stomach) couldn't handle something, I still had the support from one of my family members!

Sierra - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my mom,dad, cousin, mother in law and aunt in law in there with me and it was good for me because they were all important ppl to me, but my sister in law just had her fiance go in and said that she really liked it that way. I think it is really what YOU want and I would really only take that into consideration, b/c this your time and you should make it exactly what you want!

Jennifer - posted on 03/05/2010

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I say if you and your mom are close then of course... i would have loved to have my mom with me but i lost her when i was 11 and my step mom lived in another state i made them kick my mil out because she was drunk lol and the smell of her breath was making me sick to my stomach... This is my 3rd and this time it is going to be my DH and maybe his mom if she wants its a different MIL and she's a nurse so that will be good ;0) Its all in what you are comfortable with if you are not comfortable with ask your dr and be sure to tell the nurses you only wnat DH and make sure they are on board with you to tell her they only allow 1 person in there that way you dont risk hurting anyones feelings

Tanya - posted on 03/05/2010

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well it depends on wether or not you are going natural or witha cestion. With my csec I asked my mother to be in the room. My husband really didn't feel comfortable with the idea of me being cut open where he could see so he opted to sit out. My mother loved every minute of it. She didn't watch the procedure but she enjoyed joking and coaching me through it.

If you have a naturla delivery then you should be able to have 2 or 3 people in the room. Most of the girls I know who are able to have a vaginal delivery ask their mother, husband/boyfriend, and their mother in law in the room. Or if you don't want to then just ask you husband. Because in all reality it is your and your husbands miracle not hers. It depends on your situation.

Cheryl - posted on 03/05/2010

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my mum was there for both mine. My son it was just the 2 of us. Daughter i had my hubby and i told mum my birth plans cos i knew i could rely on her more than my hubby. He was great and supported but in the own ways.

Tanya - posted on 03/05/2010

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My mother was in the room when my son was born and I loved having her in there. It was an extra person that knew you in a different way AND understood exactly what you are going through at that point.

Sabrina - posted on 03/05/2010

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My advice to you is no matter who you have in there make sure they know what you want! I had my Hubby, my mom and my MIL. My mom asked them to give me drugs when I hadn't planned on having any and I was too out of it to refuse but I didn't tell her before hand that I didn't want anything. If my labour had've been longer I'm sure my mom and my hubby would've gotten in a fight because my mom kept telling him what to do and he was getting super fustrated. The good thing about having them all there though was we got some really great pictures that my hubby wouldn't have thought to take on his own.



Good Luck!

Nikkole - posted on 03/05/2010

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i could of had any body i want in my room, i give birth in my room witch was really nice. my whole family was there. but i had back labor and in so much pain and that was with drugs i maybe my boyfriend to tell every one to leave be i couldnt handle the talking any more. so i just had me and my boyfriend i was only in labor for 20-30mins. it is up to you if you want your mom in the room with you. good luck

[deleted account]

I have had both my husband and my Mother int he delivery room both times and wouldn't have it any other way. It has been so helpful and reassuring... she hasn't done the "coaching"role so much as just holding my head, giving me ice chips and that sort of thing. My husband still hand the major role which I thought was important and when the babies were born she just stepped back like the doctor and nurses, but still she was there and she appreciated being able to be there for me - even though it was hard for her to see HER baby in that way.

Erica - posted on 03/05/2010

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I told my mom no. Meeting our babies was a personal moment for me and my husband.

Barbora Milena - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my mum there and I was really helpful, as she went through it twice, she knew what Im goin through, she wasnt scared and she helped a lot. She was movin me around,making jokes, she put my bouncin ball i was jumpin on to the shower, so i can ease the pain by the hot water, but still movin n speed up the process of dilateting,she was keepin the ice cubes coming to ease the thirst and she was massaging me painful back...when it finally came and I was told to push, she was supporting my head and holding the oxygen mask for me, so i was in better possition to push n the nurse could take care just of the down part n the baby...I would highly recommend to have ur mum there, especially if u get on well with her...

I am a single mum, but even before I was, I knew, I would not want my partner by my side during this,I would allow him in before the very last push, so he could see the baby right after the birth, but I cannot imagine lettin him in n seein my though those looong n difficult 9 hours of delivery...There were situations I was ashamed for even in front of the doc, who has seen them millions of times, cannot imagine how my love life would be, if my partner would see it...

[deleted account]

Personally = This is a time for you and your partner - I dont think your mom was there when you were doing the deed - holding your hand - edging you on

this is a little invasion of a joyeous moment to be shared between you and your partner. However if you single and alone then having your mom there isnt all that bad of an idea as you will need the support of someone.

At the end of the day all opinion differ its what you feel comfortable with.

[deleted account]

i only had my partner as i don't have a relationship with my mother &theres only one person allowed in the room in hospitals in Ireland and he was a fantastic support i snapped at him a few times lol but he was strength at the end of it all.Do what you feel is best its 100% your decision and if you have a wonderful bond with your mom why not have her there to witness the most amazing time in your life the birth of her grand baby...her baby's first child.:-)Best of luck with the birth and i wish you a safe delivery and healthy bundle of joy.

Kaiden - posted on 03/05/2010

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My mom was one of the people I chose to have in my delivery room. I'm glad I made the decision. I went into pre-term labor and once my son was delivered, he was immediately rushed out of the room. Even though I had my husband there as well, all I wanted was my mom to reassure me everything was going to be okay, and she was right there :) It was a great bonding experience. It's like she was there to pass the torch of motherhood onto me. I suppose it depends on the relationship you have with your mom, just know that it CAN be a wonderful experience having your mother present during delivery. Best of luck!

Amanda - posted on 03/05/2010

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Omg I had to have my mother there. I was in labor for like 8 hours before they gave me a c-section but my husband came into the operating room. Other than that I had my mom and his mom and my husband. Im not sure about other people and their customs but with us the mom automatically is with the men. Even in lebanon, the father is not allowed near the room, only her mom and other women she wants and thats it. So all together, I guess it all depends on you. I would let her come in, why not shes your mom?

Kryss - posted on 03/05/2010

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Well i had my mom and my husb in the delivery room..i think its all up to you girl .. you are the one who says who can be in there and trust me you wont regret having mom and fiance there...being your first mayb mom wants to be there to comfort you and tell you things will be okay.. i know if it hadnt been for my mom i would have snapped my husbs head off..lol gl to ya though.

Stéphanie - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had the father and my mother in the deliveryroom, it gave me a warm feeling to know that she was there, she has the experience and kept me calm, I have no regrets that she was there at all !! My man stood there like he has seen a ghost when our daughter came out, so i was very happy my mom was there!! ;-)

Sharona - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had my mom in there with my first and Im expecting in April and she BETTER be in there for that one to. Just think of it this way if YOUR daughter was in the most Scariest but most wonderful thing in her life would you want to be there for her?? I believe so :) Good luck!

Deeana - posted on 03/05/2010

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i had my mum there when i gave birth to my first baby, i couldnt have done it without her by my side, u can have both in the room. definatly have ur mum there

Kristen - posted on 03/04/2010

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I had my Mum there both times...I actually couldn't have done it without her.

Kristie - posted on 03/04/2010

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let her in!! being a grandma is so exciting for them and both my mother and my husbands mother were in there and my sister and my best friend for my second child. my first son i let EVERYONE in lol. both grandpas too. except they had to stay "north of the border" if you get me. lol. call me crazy. but it was the first grandchild for everyone and child birth is natural. the second child there were no men, only my husband. but i say definitely let your mother in. and you need support from someone thats been there. my husband was sweet but just didnt get it ya know? its nice to have someone who feels your pain right there you know? hope this helps...

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