My mother in law drinks every time we visit her with the kids

Carrie - posted on 02/17/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I don't know what to do. Every time I take my kids to see my mother in law she drinks. From lunch time until she goes to bed she drinks beer and wine. My daughter is 4 and has never seen her grandmother sober for a full day! I don't know if she drinks that much all the time or not but I hate that she does it in front of my kids. I've never said anything about it though it's always bothered me. I guess I'm speaking up now because the other day she had my daughter in the car and decided she needed to make a stop at a liqueur store. I told my husband that we weren't going to hang around so everyone could booze up in front of our children . So we left and went to a hotel . Drinking every now and then is okay but if you have kids watching your behavior one should be aware of how they might be influenced . I'm afraid she may negativly influence my children's regard for alchohol. Any advice on how to deal with this?

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Denikka - posted on 02/18/2014

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Your husband really need to sit down and talk to her. It sounds like she very well has a problem. Express concern for her own health, but stress that this is behavior that you don't want your children around.
Coming from her own child, it may be able to come across as less attacking. If you do it, it seems more like disapproval of her choices where as if your husband does it, it may be seen more as genuine concern and may be accepted a bit better.
Unfortunately, if she has a problem, you may be in for a bit of a fight. Those with drug or alcohol related issues rarely like to admit to themselves that there's an issue. You're going to have be a strong unit here and agree on what steps are to be taken if she chooses not to change her habits. You're well within reason to severely limit or even cut off contact between her and your children until she can go an entire visit without drinking. It'll be hard, she will be angry, especially if she feels it's not a problem. But you have to put the kids first, their safety and healthy upbringing is much more important than her hurt feelings.

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