My new life

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I just got married about a year a go and my girls are still having a a hard time with it, but I am having a big problem with it do to the fact that my husband likes to talk about me at his jobs and he goes to lunch with other ladys and is always looking at porn. How do I over come this problem.

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Jessica - posted on 07/02/2009

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Oh man... I feel you on the porn issue! It's something I just came to terms with. As long as he still is sexual with you I wouldn't worry!! Also, make sure you talk to your daughters about how they feel as much as possible. I married a man who has children already and I talk to them all the time because I know they are having a hard time adjusting but with some love and patience, everything will work out :)

Danni - posted on 07/02/2009

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i agree with ashley!!!! counselling will def help as well if you feel you need that, but also remember that a relationship is never flawless it is what you make it, but counselling will def help your girls talk through any issues they may have and will allow you all to become closer as a family unit:)

Danni - posted on 07/02/2009

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hmmm thats a tough one!!!! i suppose it depends what it is your husband is saying about you at work wether it is really personal things that he is sharing or just general chit chat with the boys!!!!! i wouldnt really worry to much either way because boys are boys an quite often they talk about their partners and what they do an dont do and sometimes they just like to bitch, cos all the other boys are doing it, i suppose its an inclusion thing, as for the porn again i wouldnt worry, it is disheartening though an i understand that it may make you feel unwanted or unattractive, and perhaps the best advice i could offer is to talk to him about your concerns, but again u find that he is male and males love porn!! perhaps a way to overcome it is to watch it with him, depending how comfortable you feel with that but id say the best thing to do is express your concerns especially if you feel that ur relationship is not as exciting as it used to be!! As for the lunch with other ladys are they work collaueges, or friends of his? i can understand that, that would make you feel uneasy, but if you feel you have nothing to worry about dont let it get to you, and always remebr that at the end of the day your husband comes home to you and loves you, and if he wasnt happy i suppose he would leave!! If i where you i would express your concerns to him in a non shall we say attacking way, just talk to him calmy and talk about your worries im sure if he is a understanding man, he will be more then happy to talk to you about these things!! but ultimately it is entirely up to you how you approach it or if you even wish to bring it up, but if you are concerned i def think a chat is well worth while!! good luck :)

Ashley - posted on 07/02/2009

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Unfortunately I'm not sure you ae going to find any cures here, I think just based on that short explanation you are going to need some counseling, both for your husband and you, and maybe even for your girls. I believe most issues in marriages have to do with expectations, and I'm sure you did not expect your husband to be engaging in these activities... if these are no-go's for you then you need to let him know that, but I'd do it in couseling because an ultimatum may not go over so well at home... Frankly these are issues that need to be addressed before marriage, but if they weren't then they need to be dealt with in a positive, constructive enviroment or else it could just blow up. Also, just as a sidenote, if you are having troubles with your husband, and your girls are too, make sure not to turn it into a us against him kinda situation.... it really needs to be you and your husband, and seperately your entire family...

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