My nine month old son crys ever time I leave the room... Any suggestions on how to get him to stop?

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Lucinda - posted on 05/26/2013

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When I leave my daughter with her Grandma and Great GrandMother, or anyone actually, they say that she Will Not stop Crying, she's not sick, no wet diaper, doesn't even cry tears, nothing they try works. She has done this since she was six months old, she is now 10 months old. I am unable to be out of her sight at home too.

Christina - posted on 01/14/2010

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Thanks everyone for your help. I've actually been trying to do some of the things suggested. We will see how it goes...

Jessica - posted on 01/14/2010

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Most children go thru it. There was a study done about it, and it is because they have no sense of time at that age....and when you leave, they think that it could mean your gone forever.

So just do the peekaboo thing and sing....That way way he know that your still there.....hope that helps

Joy - posted on 01/14/2010

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Try putting him in a play pen with his toys or in his room with toys to play with himself with some calm music on to let him know that it is ok to be without you some times and just check in on him every now and then.

Charlotte - posted on 01/14/2010

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ah well im afraid if u give attention whilst he is doing this it will only fuel it, its hard but try to ignore him/her next time they do it eventually they will learn mummy has got other things to do as well, crying wont kill a baby so i say leave them same at bedtime place them in cot and leave the room, if they cry n u go back to them they learn that they must cry n they will get what they want hope it helps

Kelly - posted on 01/14/2010

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what bout a 10mth old he just started doing it.. he wont let my father or brother or ne one hold him other than me his dad and his me maw ppl he is around daily he follows me to the bathroom cries when i get in the shower with out him shut the door behind him go out side to smoke.. i hope it does pass ive tried putting toys and distracting him given him a bottle and he still cries until i pick him up or show that i know hes there

Kerry - posted on 01/13/2010

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yeh they go threw the separation anxiety at round 8/9 months they r cuming 2 the fact that u and them arnt as 1 and they then think that u r going 2 leave with out them and not cum bk. they will get over it with time its just 1 ov them things they have 2 go threw 2 grow up

Samantha - posted on 01/12/2010

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I guess it depends on if your leaving the house or just going into another room. I found that when I just leave a room I would keep talking to my daughter and/or sing so she know Im still there and didnt leave her. She seemed to feel fine if she could hear me. Hope that helps a little

Melissa - posted on 01/12/2010

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I believe it's a stage they go through. At just a little over 10 months it's starting to not be so bad with my son. He either crawls along right behind me or goes to the toy basket and entertains his self for a few minutes.
It was at it's worst when I was trying to make dinner. So I would bring him and the toy cars right along with me. He would sit between the kitchen and dining room and play with cars. Another thing I noticed that helped while I was doing work in the kitchen was magnets on the fridge and dishwasher that were safe for him to play with. They would keep him entertained until dinner was done usually.

Adele - posted on 01/12/2010

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my son is nearly 7months and hes just started doing that he settles fine with his dad until he hears my voice so i found a tv programme that he likes the beeps or noddy and give him his sippy cup and hes ok after 5mins i just had to learn to ignore it was really hard but if they no ur gonna pick them up when they cry it will carry on good luck

Jamie - posted on 01/12/2010

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it is a phase most children go through, at that age, they don't understand that you will be back they just see that you are leaving. i used to work at a daycare and delt with this A LOT! it is sad to see them so sad and confused, but with time it will pass. with some children, it passes very quickly, with others, it can last a few months, or even a couple years (years when you are leaving them for the day on a daily basis) with my experience, 99% of the children stopped crying within 5 minutes of there mother leaving and were fine all day, and were VERY excited to see there mother when she came to pick up! I would not recommend "sneaking away" from your child, the baby needs to know that you are leaving, and get more upset when they just see that your gone without any notice!

User - posted on 01/12/2010

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Distract him with toys, leave the room then when he starts crying i would play peek-a-boo at the door, gradually leaving longer inbetween the ''boo's'' he got bored of waiting and started playing with his toys again. he lets out a little cry every now and again, so i just start singing , if that doesnt work il resort back to a quick game of peek-a-boo. Good Luck it will pass :-)

Bethanie - posted on 01/12/2010

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Quoting Christina:

He dose ok when other people are in the room, they have learned to distracted him. What I've been experiencing his when I'm cleaning and cooking or just simply using the restroom. I of coarse don't leave him unattended for very long. Just a few minutes. I when I might be a bit longer I always make sure he's safe. I could leave the room for just a second to say get a glass of water or something and he just comes unglued.



Does he have a swing or a bouncer? My son, too, had a lot of seperation anxiety and putting him in his swing or bouncer would allow me a little time to go do something. As far as when you're cooking or cleaning, I used to take my son with me in his bouncer. When he got big enough, I would put him in a Bumbo seat on my kitchen counter (if you have a decent amount of counter space away from cooking areas, this works well) while I cooked and he loved watching me. I've also stuck him in his eating chair with one of the suction cup toys and that would occupy him and still allow him to have me within eye sight.

[deleted account]

Oh, I understand your problem now. Dont worry. At 9 months they start realising that they are not one with you anymore and that you are now two people. They go then trhough a stage where they have seperation anxiety. This will pass in about 2 weeks. Just make sure that you give him enough love now - let him feel secure, otherwise it can grow into a problem. But this is normal for 9 months. Take him with as far as possible, and also talk with him so that he can still hear you when he can't see you when you are in the loo etc.

Christina - posted on 01/12/2010

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He dose ok when other people are in the room, they have learned to distracted him. What I've been experiencing his when I'm cleaning and cooking or just simply using the restroom. I of coarse don't leave him unattended for very long. Just a few minutes. I when I might be a bit longer I always make sure he's safe. I could leave the room for just a second to say get a glass of water or something and he just comes unglued.

Crystal S. - posted on 01/12/2010

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they easily get distracted so before you leave the room give him one of his favorite things...binkie...toy...blankie...what ever it might be.

September - posted on 01/12/2010

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Do you mean while you're cleaning, cooking and such? If so take him with you :) Our son would do the same thing around that age and I would just encourage him to follow me. Worked well for us...good luck!

Katie - posted on 01/12/2010

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Its probably going to be hard to get him to stop crying but he is at that stage where you are the only person he wants. If you leave the room and someone else is watching him maybe have that person give him something new so that way he is so focused on what that object is he doesn't realize you left. Make it exciting when you leave have the person watching him do something thats funny so he isn't so focused on you leaving. I know its hard, believe I know!! but sometimes you're just gonna have to let him cry and he will eventually realize that you are in fact coming back.

[deleted account]

Hi Christina. It is a compliment to you form your son, but obviously we don't view it that way always :)! My son is nou almost 13 months. I started to sleep train him from 9 months. I had a spesific routine whenever I put him to bed (for day naps and for the night - the same routine.) I gave him some toys in his cot, after I have nursed him to get him calm and then I would make sure he is in a happy / calm mood when I want to leave. I also use the Instant Baby Sleep Soundtrack that I put on every time. This is making sure that he can't hear my voice etc when I am not inside. He would cry sometimes (not for more than 2 min, but the soundtrack would lull him to sleep very fast. If he cried cry for more than 2 min, I would go in reasuring him again. But the soundtrack really worked wonders since I started to use it. And now when I put it on, he know it's sleep time. Wonderful! You can check it out if you want to at www.instantbabysleep.com. Hope it helps!

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