My only identity is "MOM"

Tabitha - posted on 08/06/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I feel like my only identity is "Mom" I don't even know who "I" am anymore...If someone askes me what kind of things I like, or like to do....I really have to think hard about it. Does anyone else feel like this? Like you aren't anything but "mom" anymore?

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Justine - posted on 02/27/2014

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Hi, I found your post because the title of it is exactly what I typed in Google. I don't care about things that I used to be into, after 6 years of being a SAHM my self-esteem is non-existent, and I don't know what or with whom I could do something fun. My love bucket is empty, my husband works so much as a family doctor, he is too tired for sex, and I don't even feel like a woman.

Tabitha - posted on 08/07/2009

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I have four kids! 1 year old, 3 year old, 5 year old and 6 year old. None of them were planned. They are great kids, and I love them very much, but it's alot to deal with being 24! You guys had great advice..I'm glad I'm not alone. I love this site!

Vlada - posted on 08/07/2009

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I'm not sure how old your child is, but have you considered using a day-care/nursery for maybe one or two days a week so you can have some "YOU" time.

Johanna - posted on 08/07/2009

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Why of course, but you have to go back to why you became a mom in the first place. Was it for selfish reasons or to have more parts to your life? When I was pregnat with my first child some one said to me "It is still your life, You don't run your life around them they run there life around you!" I have always keped this in mind, and that I am the parent and they are the child. Now going on #5 this is more meaningful to me than ever. It is always good to go back and find a hoby that you like to do, with or without the kid. have time for just you!

Maggie - posted on 08/07/2009

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Yes, but it's really really hard to get away! The children are with me even if I'm away, I'm sure you all know what I mean. If I go somewhere I'm constantly wondering how they are doing, although it does seem to get better as time passes. You look like you are a young mom, so I'm willing to bet you have a baby or toddler? You will find that as they become older children you will find more of yourself, I know this because I had a 7 year old stepson before I had my babies and things only changed DRASTICALLY after the babies were born :) It helps to start scrapbooking too, because you can do something mommy-related but still have a creative outlet.

Jeanine - posted on 08/07/2009

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I absolutely feel like that ...I have no idea whats going on with my friends anymore or how to go out with them anymore . It's very different !!! I dont even know what i like or dont like as you said , and as a person I forget who I am .

Janderon - posted on 08/07/2009

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It's completly normal to feel that way! I think the most important thing is to reconnect with the things you used to do for fun, or to relax. If you lose your identity as a person it's harder to be the mom you want to be, because you start to feel a little jaded as a mom. I regularly try to take time out to go to a movie, read a book, soak in the tub (by myself), or go out shopping for nothing. I find it helps me to refocus and not lose touch with myself. Don't feel guilty for needing that time, it's what keeps you sane=)!

Crystal - posted on 08/06/2009

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I completely understand what you are going through! I also have a hard time thinking of what to do for fun or what to evan do if its not, grocery shopping, clothes shopping for the kids, cooking ect. I have joined groups like the local radio station's momfia, people have invited me out, but I find it hard to go out and do things. I think you should always make a evening at least once a month that you meet up with a friend or do something simple. I know it sounds lame but I like to go and play bingo with my step mom. Evan though we can't afford it I make the effort to go every so often so I don't lose everything I used to do before kids!

Hope - posted on 08/06/2009

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Absolutely. You are definitely not alone. I feel like the only way to define myself anymore is mom. I don't even know who I am without my kids anymore.

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