My partner and I are having troubles finding things that we can do as a family. Suggestions?

Phoebe - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My partner and I are having troubles finding things we can do as a new family (our daughter is 4.5months old) and it's impacting badly on our relationship. Any advice?

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Shauna - posted on 08/28/2009

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Maybe you can leave the baby with him a little so that you can go out w/friends?

It can also teach him that it is not "easy" or count as "free time" when you are home with the baby.

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Lashandra - posted on 09/05/2009

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Hay. I can relate. I met my fiance when my son was 4 months. When I started to put my son in his life we started by going to the park. In Augusta, GA they have a place called the River Walk along the Savannah River and it is sooo beautiful. We have 3 kids combined so its tough. (9, 7, & 22 month) The park is perfect. When looking to go out to eat we look for places that are kid friendly and try to at least once a month get a babysitter and go on a date. At home we put the kids to bed (or at least in their rooms) at around 9pm and that is out time to be alone. We watch movies...talk...have a drink or two (responsibly) and enjoy each others company. I look forward to that most of all. Have play dates also. Or dinner dates with friends with kids who are married or dating. That way the kids can play, moms can vent and have fun and the dads can have a beer play the game and everyone can have a good time. (you dont have to drink by the way!) On one day you can even suggest the men make the dinner and feed the kids and the moms be catered to! Hope it helps!!!

Audrey - posted on 08/28/2009

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Just have fun! Having a small baby won't hinder you too much. All of you will benefit from the time together.

Phoebe - posted on 08/28/2009

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That is definitely something I'm looking forward to. I'm starting a course in a week or so that means he has to look after bubs for a few days a month for the next nine months or so. But we're fighting so bad, and I keep finding myself thinking of leaving him. But I don't want to for her sake. It won't be fair on her to have her parents in separate states.

Siiri - posted on 08/28/2009

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I got exactly the same problem. My baby boy is 7 month now. Since he's been born we are having arguments after arguments every single day. It is so stressful, often there is some small silly topics we arguing about. I tried to work out what is best for our relationship. I offer him to go out and just walk in the park and discuss what is happening. I also told him that I would like to finish my driving licence as I fell preagnant and stopped going there and taking lessons just to get away from home. I leave my husband with little one, to see how is coping with him and to open his eyes, that my job is sometimes even more harder than he thoght it is. So after leaving him at home he has became a better person, understanding me and the situation much better. If it's possible for your hubby to stay at home and look after (even if it's only weekend) trust me it's worth it. Get time for yourself, you'll feel much better.

Belinda - posted on 08/28/2009

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My husband and I just had our second child, he is 2 weeks old now and with a 21 month old we are kinda hard up for things to do ourselves! But what I have found is that eating together, going for walks, playing games at night... like monopoly and Wii, are the best (and cheapest) things to do! Or try putting the baby to sleep and stay up you and your husband a couple hours past your bedtime and have a little date night! Rent a movie and snuggle on the couch! LOL!

Phoebe - posted on 08/28/2009

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He gets stupid amounts of "me time" but I get barely any. I think I've had about 6 or 7 hours of "me time" since I had bubs. Everything is falling apart so I'm getting desperate

Shauna - posted on 08/28/2009

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Make sure you both get "me time" too. It can be hard, but it is much better because you can have more in common than just talking about the baby.

Phoebe - posted on 08/28/2009

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Yea, we don't have the date night so it might explain why our relationship has died. We only talk about our daughter, which is hard and making life so hard

Shauna - posted on 08/28/2009

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Parks, the outdoors in general are your new best friend. There's also the fact that once you get the hang of it, you can whittle down your giant diaper bag to an "essential daybag" when you do little excursions. If you're afraid of the baby getting a sunburn but you want to put him/her in a carrier, try a colorful umbrella to block those evil ultraviolet rays.

Picnics are fun and so is going to various places with your husband (even out to eat). Once you get the hang of your baby's sleep and wake times, you can use the "sleeping" times to go out and have a nice meal together, and just get your baby used to sleeping with ambient noise around him/her. Our daughter has been exposed to normal noise from day one and that has helped her be able to sleep almost everywhere and adapt to new situations fairly well as long as she knows that we're there to keep her safe.

And don't be afraid of having someone watch the baby so you can have "date night" together. That's SO important to maintaining a strong relationship!

Morgan - posted on 08/28/2009

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just get outta the house, so shopping, hang out at the mall, go to a zoo or aquarium (my son loved to watch the fish in our aquarium when he was 4-5 mnths.) idunno what type of place u live in but i live in a small city and when my son was first born i would take him down to the park and to the local shops and just sit and have coffee and i met alot of other moms (and couples) with kids the same age. good luck 2 u!

Kristy - posted on 08/28/2009

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maybe you could try having a picnic i find going for walks is good it gives my partner and i time to talk .

it will get easyer as she gets older..

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i agree...i am 21 and my husband is 25...we have a good time walking around the neighborhoods with our daughter...we get to talk and joke around and karlee loves to look at everything...its also a good chance to work out...maybe just rent a good movie and cuddle up at home if youre feeling too tired...make a good nice meal together also.

Crystal - posted on 08/27/2009

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Get a carrier or stroller and go out. You can go to a museum, zoo, park, or just for a drive. Mine loved riding in the front carrier when he was that age. It leaves your hands free. Don't be afraid to travel with a baby. They don't explode too often and there are plenty of restrooms out there to changer her if she does. Good luck.

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