My sister neglects her daughter and is having another baby!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Dchector24 - posted on 02/10/2014

17

0

7

Hi Shannon,

I understand the frustration. I have a sister who is doing the same thing, except this would be her fourth, and she only has custody of one of them. It is very upsetting, but all you can do is help her if she is willing to allow it. If not, there really is no point in putting yourself through the stress and drama. My sister does not want the kind of help she needs, so I have stopped trying. Her lifestyle is not one that is at all ok for children to be part of, but I have to accept that that is what she has chosen for herself and her children. I try to stay positive and check in from time to time, but that's about it. She has a lot of issues that do not allow me to get any closer than that, or have a real relationship. I hope things aren't as bad with your sister. How old is her daughter?

3 Comments

View replies by

Dchector24 - posted on 02/11/2014

17

0

7

I'm honestly still working on the peace and forgiveness part. However, I'm getting better at dealing with the negative feelings I have towards my sister. I think it is particularly hard for me to understand the behavior because my sister and I were taken away from our biological mother when we were very young due to neglect and her drug abuse issues. I try now to think about it as a medical condition that needs attention, and try not to take it personally on any level. That's kind of the only way I can get past it or even talk to my sister. I know that she has a lot of issues because of what happened with our biological mother, I have them too, but she is at the point where she probably should be on a medication to help stabilize her mood so that she can function somewhat normally each day. Without that, nothing will be able to change. I understand how upsetting it is because your mom did her best to give you both a good life, and the way your sister is living seems so disrespectful. I totally get it. It is not fun, but again, she is not you. You made different decisions than she did, so you shouldn't feel guilty or responsible in any way. I've also learned (the hard way) that it is ok to love her even though she might not seem to love you or even know how to begin to show that she does. She is your sister and you will feel connected to her on some level forever. Try to hang in there and take it one day at a time. You and your mom are awesome for helping your sister's children. They will be so grateful :)

Shannon - posted on 02/10/2014

6

0

0

Thanks Shana. I'm like you and try to accept it but it is hard and scary to let go sometimes. I can communicate with my sister but I don't feel comfortable around her because of what she does. Just hard to look her in the eye at this point. My mom is such a good mother and worked so hard and for us and now has to do it again. That alone makes me just as angry as the abuse. My mom says she won't take the next baby but she won't turn her back on an innocent. My niece just turned five :) how long did it take you to find peace and forgiveness?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms