my son is 3 next month and still in nappies and has a dummy he refuses to use the toilet and give up the dummy, im at my wits end. help me please

Aj - posted on 06/19/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my son refuses to use the toilet, he used to use it but now refuses, and he refuses to give up the dummy, i make prgress but then he goes to his fathers place and seems to take ten steps back when he comes back, im at my wits end i dont know what to do,

4 Comments

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Natalie - posted on 06/19/2009

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Hi i have a duaghter who is also 3 (nearly 4) and i also work at a child care centre. There are a lot of children that are not toilet trained and have a dummy at this age. I agree that you shouldnt worry about the toilet training. talking to your child and making it a postive experience will help your child want to learn about it, but dont force him or he will see it as a negetive experience, most children do it in their own time.

As for the dummy, my daughter was 2 1/2 years old when we got rid of it, we talked about it for about a week before taking them away, telling her that she's a big girl now so that when it came time to give them up she was happy to. we also gave her a "big girl" reward for doing so. I think that you should sit down and take to your sons father and agree on what your actions should be so that you are both following the same rules and not confusing your son.

All the best

Aj - posted on 06/19/2009

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he gave up the dummy once before for about a week but his dad gave it back to him when he had the weekend, his dad refuses to listen to anything i say and wont tell me anythingt about what he is doing,

Emma - posted on 06/19/2009

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Dont worry too much, my son was nearly three and still in nappies with a dummy AND a bottle, then all of a sudden they just do it, the later you leave it with the toilet, the better as they will learn faster. If you toilet train at 2..chances are you've got months of hard work ahead of you, leave it til now..and it will be alot faster, my son was almost 3 and went from being in nappies to completely dry..day & night...in one week!! and i worried alot because it was just before he was due to start nursery.

I think the biggest issue for you though is making sure he has the same rules and routines wether hes at home or at his fathers, its important your on the same page so to speak, with his father, your son will just get confused if your not giving the same guidance for your son,,,talk things through with the dad if possible and make him see that its for your sons benefit that you lay out the same rules otherwise all your hard is just going to waste! and with the dummy, we gave a treat for giving it up...then we just stuck to it when he kept asking for it back, bed time was a nightmare for about a week, but we just stuck with it...its the only way. Once you've got him to give it up..don't give in and give it back else your back a square one!! Hope that helps,

All the best!! x

Emma - posted on 06/19/2009

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Dont worry too much, my son was nearly three and still in nappies with a dummy AND a bottle, then all of a sudden they just do it, the later you leave it with the toilet, the better as they will learn faster. If you toilet train at 2..chances are you've got months of hard work ahead of you, leave it til now..and it will be alot faster, my son was almost 3 and went from being in nappies to completely dry..day & night...in one week!! and i worried alot because it was just before he was due to start nursery.

I think the biggest issue for you though is making sure he has the same rules and routines wether hes at home or at his fathers, its important your on the same page so to speak, with his father, your son will just get confused if your not giving the same guidance for your son,,,talk things through with the dad if possible and make him see that its for your sons benefit that you lay out the same rules otherwise all your hard is just going to waste! and with the dummy, we gave a treat for giving it up...then we just stuck to it when he kept asking for it back, bed time was a nightmare for about a week, but we just stuck with it...its the only way. Once you've got him to give it up..don't give in and give it back else your back a square one!! Hope that helps,

All the best!! x

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