my son keeps acting out since we had our new baby 3mo ago...What to do???

Jamie - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My son, which is 4yrs old best so well mannered, happy, & just an all around good boy...until we recently added a new member into our family. She is now 3months old & my son is getting meaner & he dosnt mind for anything!!

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LaToya - posted on 08/02/2012

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I'm going thru the same thing with my four year old son who has a new three week old brother. Since I had his little brother my four year old has become clingy stubborn and now throwing fits if he doesn't get his way. He never got in much trouble at school and just this week he has been to the office twice. He never acted like this before and I'm not sure what to do but imwilling to try anything to get him back on track any suggestions?

LaToya - posted on 08/02/2012

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I'm going thru the same thing with my four year old son who has a new three week old brother. Since I had his little brother my four year old has become clingy stubborn and now throwing fits if he doesn't get his way. He never got in much trouble at school and just this week he has been to the office twice. He never acted like this before and I'm not sure what to do but imwilling to try anything to get him back on track any suggestions?

Emma - posted on 11/16/2009

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all i can advise is that u involve him with the baby as much as you can and make sure that you dedicate some alone time every day with him too, i know its hard but have some one look after your little girl while you and your son spend some quality time together. Also make sure you tell him you love him very much and try explain nicely thats she a little baby and little babies need their mummys alot and that he can help out by passing nappys ect, cream and that he hes her big brother and she'll look up to him and loves him very much. x

Amanda - posted on 11/15/2009

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They could also be at that stage again where they push their limits. I dont have the problems anymore but i do include dushaun(my oldest) in things like i give him a diper and ask him to throw it away for me, and i have him go get me things cuz hes my big boy and he is really proud when he does it. maybe if you seperate the oldest from the youngest a little more like the big boy and the baby brother or whatever make him feel special with special tasks that only they can do and rewards that only they can get

Jamie - posted on 11/10/2009

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I hear ya it's crazy!!! i mean i really try to give soo much attention to my 4ys old, just as much as i used to...(well i try). but then outta no where he'll flip out! and throw temper tantrums... i dont understand it!!

Tiffany - posted on 11/10/2009

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I am having the same problem with my daughter, I had another baby about 10 months ago and ever since she has changed so much, she started not listening wetting herself again and she is 4 also. I took her to a behavioral specialist and he said she is fine ?? IDK what to do either???

Jamie - posted on 11/10/2009

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I really appreaciate all yalls comments! They really make sence...i thought i was giving him alot of attemtion, but ur right he's used to being mommas lil boy & getting ALL the attention. Thanks again!

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Quoting laura:

yes mommy time for him one on one is great.. and let him be involved with taking care of lil baby, that way he'll feel imp still and a big bro taking care of lil one


I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old, both girls. My 4 year old was Momma's girl and always will be, but we struggled at first because of time and attention. I also returned to work quicker than anticipated after my second, and that left lest bonding time....



but we have Mom and Olivia outtings, special shopping days, and craft projects we do without her sister. When Kara was littler and required more attention than now (she's 2 now) Olivia would help a lot with the baby, picking out clothes, getting diapers and bottles, and singing lullabies.



Now that Olivia is in school (preK) Kara and I have Mommy time in the morning before I go to work. I work full time, and go to school fulltime after work. My time is limitted but its amazing how you make time for the things that matter. Speech therapy at home with my 4 year old, and house chores with everything else to boot....



There's always going to be struggle and you'll feel like your pulled in 10 different directions, the most you can do is try your best and know you're doing everything your capable of doing. Your children love you unconditionally, and it sounds like your son just misses his Momma.



Even my fiance has special bonding time with the kids set aside with playdates and movie/wii time.

April - posted on 11/10/2009

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hes jealous just try spending time with him when you can like at nap time for the baby or have someone else feed him to spend time with your son

[deleted account]

yes mommy time for him one on one is great.. and let him be involved with taking care of lil baby, that way he'll feel imp still and a big bro taking care of lil one

Anneke - posted on 11/10/2009

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Everyone has good advice. Most important thing is to not leave him out. We gave my first boy diapers to put on his toys. When I changed the baby's bum, he and I would change a toy's bum. Everything from teddy bears to toy cars. Whatever the diaper fit on! Amanda had a great idea with the bottle and doll. If you're not comfortable giving him a doll, give him a bottle and diapers for a teddy bear. Even if he gets a new, special teddy! :) Good luck! You'll get through it!!

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I agree with lilly, you should just come up with things to do just you and him. My daughter went through that a little at first, I would just take her with me on grocery trips and leave the baby with my husband, that gave her and I time to ourselves and she didn't mind the new baby once we had a steady routine

Amanda - posted on 11/10/2009

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Hey my son did the same when his lil brother came and i know people have different opinions on this but it worked. You are spending most of your time taking care of the new baby wich takes time away from him. i went out and got my lil man a doll with a bottle and then we had our time together feeding our babys. it really worked my oldest will be three and youngest will be one and i cant believe how much they like eachother now and i dont have the acting out issue anymore he just wanted to feel like he was part of it

[deleted account]

you should spend just you and him time !! he just wants attention and you should just give it to him :)

MAYTE - posted on 11/10/2009

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UMM WELL IM GOING THRU THE SAME..THERE JUST JEOULOSE I FOUND OUT THAT HE WANTS ALL THE ATTENTION SO THATS WHA I DO I GIVE IT TO HIM...THE BABY IS STILL TO SMALL TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND GOOD THING SHES A GOOD BABY SHES NOT FUZZY AT ALL...AND LET HIM PLAY WITH THE BABY LET HIM HOLD THE BABY OF COURSE SITTING DOWN AND U BY THEM..DONT LET HIM FEEL LEFT OUT

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