My son passed away January 28th 2013 and im still having trouble dealing with it

Brittany - posted on 02/10/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son recently passed. I feel myself being ok but lately I have been so angry. I have been so mad I find myself snapping at people over stupid things. I am so depressed im not happy. I thought it was going away but im having breakdowns and panic attacks. Im not happy. I miss my baby. I want my son back. I don't know what to do or where to turn. Doctors cant help they don't understand what its like to lose a child. they tell me everything is ok but I know its not ok. I also found myself making a bottle instead of my usual tea in the morning. what should I do?

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Cc - posted on 02/12/2014

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I'm sorry for your loss. Your feelings are normal, but being normal doesn't always mean easy. I've never lost a child aside from miscarriages and if I can be devastated about losing a child I never held in my arms, I can't imagine how it must feel to lose one that I have. It may take a very long time to heal, but I really believe that counseling could help you. It couldn't hurt to try. Maybe you could try an online or telephone support group if you don't want to go see someone physically (although I believe seeing someone face to face would be more effective). I just did a quick google search and this website seems like it has a few options...http://griefnet.org/resources/parents.ht...
I don't think doctors are the best ones to talk to about these things either...that's why they are doctors and not counselors. No one will ever really know how you feel, those feelings are yours. Counseling can give a safe place to share all of your feelings and work on ways to deal with them in a healthy way. I hope things get better for you.

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Jennifernider - posted on 02/12/2014

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I think that's all part of the greeving process and healing process and in time it will get easyer, I really think it would be smart to find a support group in ur area and I now it's hard to put urself out there like that but I think if u find the right group of people it could really help and hearing everything others went threw might help you realize that ur struggles are totally normal and talking about it really helps in the greeving process I really truely am sorry for what has happened it's not fair for a mother to have to burry there child it's wrong and I hope in time you can come to turms with ur lose just remember the time you had with him and charish thoses memories forever he will always be apart of you no matter what

Brittany - posted on 02/12/2014

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Thank you jenn,
I do beat myself up and im always having break downs. I could be ok for a day or two then have a couple days where I break down

Jennifernider - posted on 02/11/2014

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I am truly sorry for ur loss talking with people that have gone threw the same thing I think will help, i think all that ur going threw is normal I hope u have a partner in ur life to help each other threw this hard time but I think the big thing is time, time to heal I don't think you will ever truley heal but it will get Easyer try and find some support groups for people in your situation it is never easy to loss a child it's not right or fair but ur still here and you need to find ways to cope don't bet urself up for having break downs I think if you didn't then there might be something wrong with you I hope you find your peace for your child best of luck and my prayers are with you and your angel

Michelle - posted on 02/11/2014

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Sometimes it can take a while to find one that you relate to. There's no harm in finding someone else.
You really do need help. Maybe find a support group for parents that have lost children in your area and see if anyone there can recommend someone.

Brittany - posted on 02/11/2014

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The hospital where he died had me speak to one the first day. They don't understand. I actually almost punched them in the face, They said the same thing that its ok, that its ok to feel sad but I shouldn't be angry

Michelle - posted on 02/11/2014

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Instead of just seeing your doctor you should see a grief counsellor. They specialize in helped people deal with grief.

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