Natural Mommas

Sasha - posted on 07/30/2012 ( 72 moms have responded )

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The main issue that I have faced lately with becoming pregnant is that most of my friends are completely uneducated about birth. I am a huge activist of natural birth and attachment parenting.

I am looking forward to having an unmedicated birth. My husband and I are thinking of a water birth. Still up in the air...dealing with insurance.

I am also planning on breastfeeding...for at least the first year. Once we own a house (and do not have to rely on a public laundry) I will be cloth diapering.

I believe in co-sleeping an baby wearing. That said...I have a hard time finding like minded young mothers. I have a huge support system of older an more educated women that I go to for advice and questions. But it would be nice to have more young mothers that are choosing the same choices as my hubby and I.

What are your thoughts on natural birth and parenting?

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Kristy - posted on 07/30/2012

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I had a natural birth, but didn't plan to.. my daughter was coming too fast for me to have any pain medication. I also planned on breastfeeding for at least 6 months, but that didn't work out either. You can plan and plan and plan some more but things may not go accordingly.. so I say be prepared that it might not go the way you would like.

Heather - posted on 08/12/2012

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Both my husband and I have big families, so lots of support, but a lot of the advice they give is "traditional," for our Western society anyway. So I did a lot of smiling and nodding with extended family. My close family knows if I have strong opinions I will do what I think is right, so they don't tell me what I'm doing is wrong. Whatever you feel about birth and parenting, you should feel comfortable. If something doesn't sit right with you, trust your gut.
As far as support goes, my there's a Crunchy Moms group in my community. If you can't find something like that, you could try to start one. Are you using a doula? I asked the group how it got started, and the woman that started it said she made connections through her doula. So even if you're not using one, you might be able to find someone in that field to help you start a group. Also, I can't make it to the group much, but I still get a lot of support in the facebook group.

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co-sleeping is safer than crib sleeping. Do research before you bash something and make wild allegations.

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Cultures who traditionally practice safe co-sleeping, such as Asians, enjoy the lowest incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Trusted research by Dr. James McKenna, Director of the Mother-Baby Sleep Laboratory of the University of Notre Dame, showed that mothers and babies who sleep close to each other enjoy similar protective sleep patterns. Mothers enjoy a heightened awareness of their baby’s presence, what I call a “nighttime sleep harmony,” that protects baby. The co-sleeping mother is more aware if her baby’s well-being is in danger.

Babies who sleep close to their mothers enjoy “protective arousal,” a state of sleep that enables them to more easily awaken if their health is in danger, such as breathing difficulties.
Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding easier, which provides many health benefits for mother and baby.

More infant deaths occur in unsafe cribs than in parents' bed.

Co-sleeping tragedies that have occurred have nearly always been associated with dangerous practices, such as unsafe beds, or parents under the influence of substances that dampen their awareness of baby.

Research shows that co-sleeping infants cry less during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which can interfere with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety.

Infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means baby sleeps physiologically safer.

A recent large study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol.

Tracie - posted on 08/04/2012

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It's good that you've done your research and you know what you want. That said, keep an open mind. What you want to do and what you'll be able to do are not always the same. Don't put unnecessary ideals/restrictions on yourself that will make you feel like a failure if you're unable to go through with it for some reason.

I also wanted a medication-free birth. Until I felt the contractions. It hurt so bad I actually left my body. I wanted to breast feed for a year, but both of my girls self-weaned at 9 months. Oh well. Babies aren't real good at adhering to other people's plans. ;-)

Best of luck to you for an easy pregnancy and healthy baby!!

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Letitia - posted on 09/02/2012

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You seem very strong minded about this which could be a bad thing in some ways. I was determined not to have drugs with both my births. My 1st labor I had to have an epidural cos I had pre eclampsia and the doc was scared, with my blood pressure, that I was going to seizure. With my second I was more determined. It turned out he got stuck in my cervix n he was spine on spine. I ended up having gas after 6 hrs. I'm pretty proud I said no to the epidural that time. My point is that circumstances change. Fair enough u could go natural once bub is born but try have an open mind for the birth. Try as hard as you can but remember that you want what's best for bub so if they suggest drugs n u think that's whats best for bub n u, then don't be disappointed if that's the way it works out.

User - posted on 09/02/2012

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I love the idea of natural birth and parenting. Cloth diapers are a bit much for me b/c buying diapers are just much easier. lol. With my daughter, i had her natural. It was definitely a challenge and hard to go through but if you keep a good mind set and you do your breathing, time goes by faster and the pain isnt as severe. I breast fed my daughter for 2 years. Some people say thats a bit long, but my daughter is strong, very healthy and rarely sick, very athletic and happy. Not saying that bottle cant do the same in some cases, but breast feeding not only give them nutrients that bottle does not give them, but it forms this unbreakable bond that you seem to keep forever with your child. My daughter is 4 now and she never leaves my side :) I am about to have my second and am VERY interested in water birth! I remember when i was in labor with my first child, before i went to the hospital i sat in a warm bath and kinda rocked my body through the water and it not only helps with the pain, but it puts your body in this since of peace and its very calming. I didnt however have my first child in the water :( I think that its up to the person.

Erin - posted on 08/31/2012

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I did co sleeping with my daughter and absolutly loved it because she was right there when she needed boobie juice. as for natural birth i cant help you there as both my children were vis c-section due to my son having the cord wrapped around his mid section and my daughter because i have a liver condition.



I think what you have decided is awesome and already your going to be an amazing mama and your sweet pea is very lucky!

Deidra - posted on 08/30/2012

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I was dead set on a natural birth for my daughter, no meds or anything. When my due date came and went and I had tried everything from walking to spicy foods to self induce and still no luck I agreed to go in and be medically induced at 42 weeks. After 20 hours I was only 2.5 cm they did and ultrasound and my daughter was breech. (head up) I had to under go a c-section. Then b/c she weighed 8lbs 8oz I had to wait to feed her b/c they had to run some test on her. I started off bottle feeding but wanted to nurse. when my milk started coming in really good I started breast feeding but I was on a strong iron pill b/c of an iron deficiency (I've had for years) the iron pills cramped her stomach and I couldn't stop them. I had to bottle feed my daughter till she was 12 months. I wanted to do everything naturally and the reason I told you all of this is b/c of the fact that not everything works out. As far as co-sleeping my daughter has slept in bed with me and her father since she was born, yes even in the hospital she slept on a cot with her father. We got our butts chewed by the nurses but we didn't care. Since the day she came home from the hospital she slept in bed with us. Good luck with everything and if you decide to go all natural I really hope everything works out for you and your husband.

Chrissy - posted on 08/22/2012

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all i can say is if u have never done it be4 make sure u get accurate responses. i gave birth to my 1st child naturally, it was THE WORST. i use to watch TLC to see the mothers give all types of natural birth and i feel like i have been bamboozeled, really. none of it was accurate because they werent me. my pain level is a 7 but when it hits 10 i cant take it. it was the worst. i always wanted the water birth, glad that never happened. it was the only traumatic experience for me. i still can feel the tearing every time i talk about it. then trying to breast feed was not enough for her. she is very greedy. if this is not your first rodeo then by all means enjoy the experience. for me i am calling my friend big E this time even tho im scared of needles and thats the ultimate needle. one good advice i can give u is dont beat urself up if everything doesnt go as planned, just remeber that u and ur baby made it out alive and r healthy, hapy and well.

Johnna - posted on 08/22/2012

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I had the same problem, I'm 22, and the majority of my friends are still in their "college years". Not many of my younger friends have babies or understood any of the parenting mumbo jumbo that had come out of my mouth. I feel the same way about natural birth. When I looked at pain meds, all of the side effects scared me to the point where I had decided that I didn't care how bad it hurt, I was not taking anything! I was in labor for 13hrs and honestly, it wasn't that bad. The most painful thing was the contractions in the last hour or so. The delivery was nothing compared to those contractions, and once you see your baby, it won't even matter! Just be strong, you can do it! and if it gets to the point where you don't think you can handle the pain, it's alright to change your mind too, just listen to your body :) I intended to breastfeed, and up until about a week and a half ago, I did. Carter developed an almost "allergic reaction" to breast milk, as the doctor had described it. [He was projectile vomiting pretty much an entire bottle after we would feed him.] So, we had to switch him to Soy formula. It really bummed me out for a few days, but I had to accept that it was better for him to be healthy. So just expect that plans can change, and as much as it may disappoint you, it may be better for baby :) I also believe in co-sleeping. I don't know how any parent wouldn't for at least the first couple of months anyway. It makes me feel safer knowing he is in the room. It also helped a lot in learning his noises and what they all meant. Carter sleeps in his bassinet most nights, but we have tried co-bedding. I suggest against it if you want to get a good nights sleep. For me, I became too paranoid to sleep well, it was almost like sleeping with one eye open all night c(= He had a bad habit of scooting//crawling until he was up next to me or his father, which was personally too close for me. I just kept thinking he would get his face too close and suffocate, or we would move and be on top of him, it just caused too much stress for any of us to get a good nights sleep.. Carter is now 6weeks old, and we just purchased his crib, but I really want to delay his move to his own bedroom for at least as long as he can still fit into his bassinet comfortably. I will guiltily admit that I'm not ready to let him sleep all by himself yet, maybe in a few months. I hope something I said was helpful, best of luck! :)

Lauren - posted on 08/21/2012

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Sasha...good for you for doing your homework. I had my children at the hospital (not a water birth because I was induced both times), but I didn't have any drugs or epidurals either time. Granted, my labors were NOT 12+ hours (being induced speeds things up, albeit it's a bit more intense more quickly). My friend just delivered her first early this morning--yay--and we discussed her options beforehand. She tried to go natural, but after 9 hours took the epidural. If you want to try natural, go for it. But also don't be mad at yourself if you get to the point where you don't feel you can handle the pain anymore. Babies are delivered every day with all these methods, and you need to be able to enjoy your baby's birth--medicated or not. Make a decision with your husband and discuss where your thresholds are so you're ready should the options be presented to you. And then sit back and enjoy!!!

Staci - posted on 08/21/2012

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I just had a waterbirth in June! I'm all about natural parenting as well. Where do you live? If you live near me, I can set you up with a lot of resources for like-minded mommies :)

Alexis - posted on 08/21/2012

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Well I gave birth to my 20month old at 18 n my labor was horrible I was in labor for 46 hrs!i had planned on getting the epidural but for sum reason they couldnt hit my point.they tried three times to give me it but everytime was a fail.so there I was pushing out my baby with no drugs lol sorry for my language butIT HURTED LIKE FUCK!!!still when I talk or think about it my stomach gets weak I described da pains as your body being on fire ripping in half.so im praying dat wen I go into labor wit my second im drugged but least I got to experience a nayural birth at least once so if you realli want to go.ahead if u strong enuff because it literally feel lik u dying(everyone not the same though)as for breast feeding I wanted to do it ttil 6months but unfortunately I only got to for three months cuz once I got back on birth control it dried me up...breastfeeding hurts a lil in da beggining bt u get use to it n its nothing compared to giving birth .i liked it its a great bond with your child so I think u shuld breastfeed....hope I helped GOODLUCK

Callie - posted on 08/19/2012

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Janessa, I'm not saying that women who don't use 'natural'/attachment parenting methods aren't educated but that most women don't educate themselves in general on different options/methods and therefore they don't see natural/attachment parenting methods as a viable/safe option. I had several people tell me that my baby or I would die or be seriously injured if I used a home birth midwife which if they have done any research you're statistically more likely to die/be injured in the hospital. My insurance policy specifically says they won't cover any infections contracted from a maternity stay at the hospital because it's an optional admittance.People will tell you not to carry your baby because it will spoil them. If you've researched the options and choose to not cosleep or use and epi that's fine. It's your decision. But most people don't educated themselves on the different methods and just do what everyone else is doing. That's why I said I don't think people are educated on 'natural' parenting options.

User - posted on 08/15/2012

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I found out I was pregnant with my son at 20 and had him at 21. I did plan for a natural birth but also did get the proper education on it and when labor came, I was completely thrown off. I did get an epi :/ I'm hoping with (future) number two I'll be more prepared. My son is now 15 months and still nursing. I plan to let him wean when he's ready. We also co slept the first year and I did a lot of baby wearing. We never did the CIO method and we also cloth diaper. I find it really hard to find like minded people as well. I always get critized and asked when am I going to stop breastfeeding him or it's gross I use cloth diapers. I've always got "you're a terrible mother because you cuddle your son too much" my son is a very lively outgoing and independent toddler and I truely feel it's because of the attachment parenting. He knows I will there for him when he needs it.

Janessa - posted on 08/14/2012

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I believe as long as you do what you feel is best for you then you don't need to worry about what others think but on the flip side be careful about saying things like more educated women, because that isn't fair to those of us who choose not to do it naturally. I struggled with guilt about getting an epidural with my first 2 and was totally planning on doing it with my 3rd in spite of my guilt. Needless to say I prayed hard and finally was at peace with it and knew I was not a bad mother for doing it. I also knew it was right for me. All 4 of my babies were just fine and might not have been if I hadn't done it that way because I never would pushed lol. I also will avoid cloth diapers at all costs no pun intended, and cosleeping out of the question I do breastfeed and in fact I am still breast feeding my 16 month old, so I guess we can friends. Lol I'm only kidding. I have friends who do cloth diapers, but also epidurals, I have friends who do it naturally but no cloth diapers, and I have friends who don't breast feed, but here I am still breast feeding my 16 month old. The point is we are all different and should never feel like our way is the only way. I know I am a better mother to my kids when I do it my way because I am more patient and loving towards them because I'm not worried about what other people think.

Callie - posted on 08/13/2012

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If you're looking for some support you should try trustbirth.org to find a local group. I've also meet cloth diapering moms through our local cloth diaper/baby boutique. I've also found a local baby wearing group on facebook as well. Many of the ladies I've meet are part of all of the groups and they span all ages. If you find one group that supports a single aspect of 'natural' parenting I bet the ladies would be able to direct you to other groups.

I know that my family hasn't agreed with all of my decisions. When I chose to use a home birth midwife with my second pregnancy not many agreed with that decision. But luckly most of my family knows that I've researched and made my decisions based on the information and have been accepting. My mom, after talking with me about why I chose a midwife, decided that it was a good thing and her and my sister attended my labor and delivery (which ended in a transfer to the hospital). I've decided that most people just aren't educated on many of the 'natural' parenting options like natural birth, midwives, cloth diapering, baby wearing but if they are open to listening then they often will at least understand why you're making the decisions you have.

Heather - posted on 08/13/2012

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Shannon,

My LO also will not take milk from a bottle. He did at 2 months old, and stopped around 4 months old. Maybe because we stopped practicing, or maybe it's just common. At this point, I'm not even trying anymore. I give him frozen milk in a mesh teether when his gums hurt, and Dad gives him this too when I'm not home. He'll also take the last few tiny chunks from a spoon, and we're working on drinking from a shot glass with faceted sides, so it's easy for him to hold.

Amanda - posted on 08/12/2012

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I think it is great you are trying to do great things for your child! I am a mother of 4, who I had all naturally. Breastfeeding is so amazing, it really does create a special bond to the baby. Baby wearing is also another amazing thing to do because it keeps the baby close to you, but you still have your hands free. I didn't start cloth diapering until my third child, but I am amazed at how easy it really is! Everyone around me was kind of grossed out and also didn't know what to make of it, but now that it's been 2 years they think it's great. My MIL doesn't cloth diaper when my DD stays with her all night, but I just had to be ok with that since she's trying. I know doctors tell you not to cosleep, but I've done that with all my kids (until the next one comes along) and I love it. It makes breastfeeding so much easier and my husband works nights so I just have to share the bed with my baby. It really is amazing that there is a whole other world besides the one that is advertised. The more "hippie" type parent is not the norm, but I think it should be because it's so much safer than all the chemicals and extra junk people are constantly putting on their kids or into their kids.

Leslie - posted on 08/12/2012

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I did all that except for breastfeedig. it did not work for me. I was introduce and made it 20 hours with no meds. last eight hours use the pain blocker. my is now 21 months and already potty training for five months now.

Heather - posted on 08/12/2012

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Hi! I'm heather,a young mother of 3. I planed and had a natural birth, and I am currently breastfeeding and cloth diapering. ;) It is hard to find young mothers that are interested in these things. I found myself drawn to some of the older women I know b/c of our common intrests. If you want to talk you can friend me / message me on here. I wish you and you husband the best!

Whitney - posted on 08/12/2012

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I had my daughter all natural but I didnt breast feed. I was placed on medicine that was not recommended for breastfeeding women right after her birth. I had to weigh my options and it was what was best. My daughter is highly attached to me but I do regret her not sleeping in her own bed only because I work an off shift so she feels the need to be cuddled with but its someone else. I'm glad you are sticking to your ideals. I know how annoying it can be for others to tell you you are crazy for what you do with your child.

Stephanie - posted on 08/12/2012

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I think the key to the whole thing is to have an idea of what you want, and understand that anything can happen. So many factors come into play at once and there's no right or wrong, just what works for you. It's great to decide what to do, but if circumstances arise that are out of your control, what choice do you have! We are lucky to live in a world where modern medicine saves lives. It's so true, you can plan for the whole nine months, and still have the outcome not be what you expected. Ah, the excitement of life!

Hannah - posted on 08/12/2012

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I had my first at age 16, I'm now nearly 23 and have 3 kiddies. All my births where unmedicated and very empowering, the shortest amount I've breastfed is 14 and a half months, I co-sleep and my babies where held a lot (although not "worn") I have bee researching everything birth, pregnancy, breastfeeding, natural living for now nearly 6 years...I do find it hard as well to mind like minded people....if you ever wanted to chat babies and birth with me I've love to PM or add me on facebook =D

Heather - posted on 08/11/2012

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Great to hear. So glad your standing firm and all though some things have changed your still doing things how you want and not how everyone else says it should be. Ooh and ya there are some things people do for their children that makes me think OOh MY!, but I keep my mouth shut. Plus just because I don't think it's right doesn't mean their wrong or anyone is better at parenting. We're all learning evan though it's been done before.

Shannon - posted on 08/11/2012

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Has anyone had trouble getting breastfed baby to take EBM out of a bottle or sippy. My Lo is 9 months and only wants breast. I still breastfeed on demand as well

Stephanie - posted on 08/11/2012

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I went the birth center route and had an amazing water birth. We took Bradley classes and were totally prepared for anything, with our birth plan in case of emergency transport to the hospital. I do have the Baby Book by Dr. Sears as my childcare reference, also. I loved the idea of co-sleeping, and it worked for us for 4 months, which was great. It made it so much easier to breastfeed in the early months.
I now breastfeed and make my own baby food for my little girl, who is almost 8 months. I am a SAHM and I love to be with my baby all day. I use a sling when we go out, and in the early months, did almost all day at home, too. We also have a kelty kids back pack we use when we go for walks, and vacuuming.
I am a relatively young mother and have found only a few women my age who are into the natural methods that I am. It's difficult sometimes to take the time to do the extra things, like make my own baby food. Especially when there are so many easier options and quick fixes out there. It's a business and companies and hospitals make lots of money doing it, kind of sad the way it is these days.

Grace - posted on 08/10/2012

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I'm all for natural birthbreastfeeding as long as possible, cloth diapering as long as it doesn't drive you, your husband, and child crazy! I tried some attachment parenting and I regret it in some ways. My kid was really clingy when I didn't need her to be, but she is also way ahead if most kids her age, and well adjusted now. The 2nd year was not too much fun with "other people".

Missy - posted on 08/10/2012

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im planning to go natural its my first one due the 23 of aug... my mom had 16 children in all..at home and natural birth.. tuff lady so i hope i can atleast do the natural thing lol....
p.s. she had twins too.. the oldest is 24 and the youngest is 3. she was 46 when she had her last one

Momof1 - posted on 08/10/2012

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I agree with you. I have a hard time finding young or older women who have done natural parenting methods. I was actually laughed at when I said I wasn't going to use an epidural... Yeah it hurt, but even with an epidural labor can hurt and at least I got to eat and lay in the tub while in labor. I breastfed for over a year. Wanted to go longer then I actually did, but the husband wasn't as supportive as he was for the first year. :/ Unfortunately we did not cloth diaper our son and basically the reason for that was when we found out we were pregnant we started buying supplies, instead of saving up for cloth diaper. Also I know my husband will not work with cloth diaper and I wasn't too knowledgeable about them, but I am now. I think a lot of women need to do a lot of research, talk to whoever they know who has kids and talk to their doctors.



So let's put it this way, I'm the only person I know (that I know of anyway) who has had a: natural birth, breastfed over a year, didn't use a pacifier, homemade some (not all) of his baby food, waited until he was 6 months before introducing solids, does not allow juice even though he is almost 3 and still has him rear facing. So I am kind of looked to like a freak... But I don't care. I did not co-sleep, though, well we did like 10 days total through really fussy nights, because that just wasn't for me and I didn't feel safe falling asleep in his bed. I also didn't do baby led weaning, because it was hard enough to make my husband wait until our son was 6 months to feed him. I think it is a good thing we started at 6 months because he definitely ate way more then what is expected for a first time feed and it was right after him having been breastfed.



Most of the women that I hear from say, "epidural right away", "how can I breastfeed if I'm going back to work", "my child isn't one, but over 20 lbs so I turned him forward facing." You get my drift.



On the other had: I know two people who have most of the same values as me, except the juice part.



I think most women just don't do enough research so they only go buy what their friends/family did. I was the first person I know to do all of what I listed above. Doesn't make me special, just means I did my research and decided that that is how I wanted to raise my child. I did give birth at a hospital, but it is specifically for women and babies and I barely needed attended since I didn't have an IV, so I loved that hospital.

Heather - posted on 08/09/2012

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Wow! You are right! It is very hard to find young mothers who like more traditional methods of birthing/breastfeading/diapering. All though I don't think anyone is any less of a parent for choosing other methods. Sometimes they don't have a choice if there are complications during delivery or a lull in the production of breast milk. Cloth diapers are deffinately a money saver.
My first delivery was induced by prednasone due to me going into labor, but I was not dialating. I refused anyother drugs. It was only painful for a short period of time and then it was over. Since I had no other drugs in my system there were no side effects and recoverd fine, and was able to feel every contraction so I knew when to push on my own. With my second delivery I deliverd twins and was incurraged to get an epidural in case there were any complications which needed to be manualy corrected(which I agreed to). Turns out there were no complications, But I needed to be intructed on when to push because you can't feel anything from about the last rib and down. This botherd me alot. Afterwards I wasn't able to get out of bed until feeling came back whick took about a whole day. Then when I was sleeping I had to wear curculation casts because my legs felt numb for the next day or two. Didn't like it I still get the hebe gebees thinking about the whole process of that and would never recomend it to anybody. The pain of the birth is part of the experience. Breast
Breastfead yes! It helps with the bond to the child, not that there isn't one already. Also, breastfeeding makes you feel good about what you are soing for your child as long as you eat healthy and drink plenty of liquids. Carrots and Beef pot roast were my favorite and loaded with good things for the baby. Also I never had a problem producing breast milk when I ate this.
For me I did the disposable diapers when I has someone watch my children and did cloth diapers when we were at home. It's allways nice to have cloth diapers around in case you can't get to the store to get disposeable ones. They save you sooo much money.
Being a mom is the best Gift I every recieved.

Shannon - posted on 08/09/2012

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To everyone who said co sleeping is dangerous. There is evidence that proves infants who co sleep have lower risk of sids. And all the mothers who smothered their babies where 9/10 obese.

Mommy - posted on 08/09/2012

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My take on it is, you do whatever makes you comfortable as the parent. I would have liked to breastfeed longer, but with going back to work I wasn't able to keep up my supply. I won't do cloth diapers because I just don't want to deal with the cleanup, but more power to you if you do. The co-sleeping thing is such a hot topic. I don't do it because I'M afraid of hurting the baby in my sleep. I am not saying YOU shouldn't, just my own preference. I also like the alone time with my husband, so after 8 weeks in a bassinet by my bed, the baby goes to the crib in an adjoining room to ours.

At the end of the day, unless I see a mom hurting their child with their choices, I am happy with supporting whatever works in your family. I guess what I am trying to say is that as long as people are supportive, it doesn't matter if they would raise their children the same way or not, I think they can still offer your a great support system.

Shannon - posted on 08/08/2012

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I am 20, will be 21 in sept. I share all the same views! It's so refreshing to see other young women think that way. My baby girl is 9 months today and we are still exclusivley breast feeding on demand. With co sleeping and breast feeding I have gotten so much sleep! No waking up to make bottle just pop it in and drift right back to sleep!! I wish you the best in your natural delivery. I was not educated on what all the medicines do to your body and your baby when I was pregnant. I wanted a natural birth but ended up getting an epidural after it being basically shoved down my throat every hour! I also would like to try a home water birth my next go round! :) You can do whatever you put your mind to especially when you know that's it's the best for your baby. I pray you have breastfeeding success! It may be hard at first but it is so rewarding and satisfying knowing you are giving your baby the most natural tools for a happy and healthy life :)

Jessica - posted on 08/08/2012

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I agree with vaginal birth (as opposed to unnecessary c-section), but I don't think that someone should be looked down upon for using pain medications. My body was fighting the contractions, slowing birth way down, but once I had my epidural, I dilated within a few hours, thus causing the least trauma and distress on my child.

I also agree with the breastfeeding issue. However, most of my friends, homeowners or not, have told me they wouldn't use cloth diapers if they didn't have a laundry service, simply for the fact of stain cleaning.

To each their own, but I don't agree with co-sleeping unless absolutely necessary. The only time I did it was to get through each of my childrens' growth spurts. There is too much risk of suffocation, and attachment issues. If a child is left to co-sleep for too long, it can not only cause problems with getting them into their own bed when they are older, but it can also affect your relationship with your spouse, which is also important to maintaining a healthy family environment. I'm not sure what you are referring to with reference to baby wearing, but if you mean what I think you do, to each their own. My children had no interest in being in a sling or carrier beyond a few months.

Here is the main thing... while it is nice to have a support system of women your age who agree with you, the only thing that really matters is that you are doing what you feel is best for you, your husband and your child. Regardless of someone's education about birth and parenting, only you can know what is best for YOUR child.

Good luck!

[deleted account]

Did you ever nurse while laying down? Babies have more freedom to roll over. Plus the article does not say its lazy. Reading comprehension going a long way. Plus the article you posted is against cosleeping because its the consumer product safety commission. Which I DO actually agree with. Adult beds in the US are not designed for babies. They are too high, and have too many crevices they can get stuck in. You need to practice safe co-sleeping and take the proper precautions. The same as you would if crib sleeping. Hell, some cribs don't even meet safety standards, does that mean its dangerous and should not be done?

"Cosleeping is a widespread practice in many non-Western cultures. However, differences in mattresses, bedding, and other cultural practices may account for the lower risk in these countries as compared with the United States." Copied from your article. Also why I have a queen size mattress directly on the floor and sleep with light breathable blankets. The same set up other cultures use because they co-sleep. Plus, your article agrees with the benefits and if it also highlighted the amount of deaths caused by unsafe crib sleeping, you would see that the numbers are drastically higher than that of cosleeping deaths.

Moira - posted on 08/06/2012

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Can I just say to all the mums battling about cosleeping it is completely unnecessary the poor mum to be will being inundated with updates that have gone so far from the original question no offence but she is asking for support and has done her research so to come on and feel the need say what you felt is wrong bla bla bla leave it out as a mum you should know we are more than capable of researching and discovering what we feel is right for us and do not need other mums to try make others feel guilty about their parenting I have two beautiful well adjusted kids who I'm constantly complimented on when we are out and about and I'm 100% happy and confident with my choices would I tell someone else who parents different they are wrong no never however this mum has asked for like minded younger mums and so I don't understand why some if you have commented anyways best of luck wishing you all the best!

Terra - posted on 08/06/2012

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Sounds like you're making some wonderful informed choices mama!! I am also a natural birthing, co-sleeping, babywearing and extended nursing mama. The most important thing to remember about attachment parenting is to remember that it is totally based on following your babies cues and mutual respect. I have seen many an AP mom beat herself up because the baby preferred to sleep alone, or hated the carrier, etc. The most important thing to remember is that you are listening to what your baby wants and doing what will make you both the happiest. If you keep that in mind then even if thing don't go a certain way you'll know if your heart it's because you are following your babies cues and meeting their needs in the perfect way.

As far as natural birth goes I highly, highly, highly suggest getting a doula to help you during labor. My doula helped me SO much especially during labor when transition hit and I started thinking I wanted drugs. She helped remind me of my goal, refocused me and I was able to get on top of the contractions again and make it through. I'm not sure I could have done it without her since the others with me kept telling me it was okay if I got the drugs and didn't support me in my choice to natural birth when I needed it the most. It's not that they wanted to see me fail or anything, they were just family and didn't want to see me pain anymore. A doula in no way replaces your husband during labor by the way. She is there to support the both of you in what ever way you need. She can be as hands on or hands off as you want her to be. My doula was and midwife were near my while laboring but saw that I was in my zone and didn't want to break my concentration so didn't interfere until I started to loose control a bit. Then my doula was right there in the very moment I needed her. IMO if doulas where made available to every single woman in labor there would be far more successful unmedicated birth (I'm talking about the moms that go in wanting to birth naturally but their support team and fear take over and thing fall apart), higher breastfeeding rates and fewer unnecessary c-sections.

All that being said I have a few resources for you that you may not have found yet.

www.thebabywearer.com
http://www.mothering.com/community/
www.diaperswappers.com
www.kellymom.com
https://www.facebook.com/TheLeakyBoob
www.askdrsears.com

The first three all have communities of like minded mamas. I have made many on-line and in real life friend from visiting these forums.

Good luck on your journey mama!! It is the most amazing and rewarding thing you will ever do!!

Shelley - posted on 08/06/2012

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I just had our daughter about 2 months ago. I had a waterbirth, and it was the best thing I'd ever done. I was feeling pretty much back to normal after about 2 weeks. There were a few things that didn't' go as planned, but I'm still hoping to do a watebirth again if I'm able to.
When she was born the umbilical cord was really short, and possibly due to this the midwife pulled her up out of the water and then submerged her again. I don't exactly know what happened there, it was what my husband told me. Since I was one my knees when she was born and all of this was happening behind me. Anyway, she ended up swallowing a bunch of water and they ended up pumping her stomach because she wasn't nursing well and ended up doing an x-ray on her lungs to see if there was any fluid in there. It was a bit of a mess, but she's doing fine and is quite healthy and growing well.
I was so happy to do a natural birth. The midwife did break my waters, but other than that I had no drugs and since I went into the birthing process in a very relaxed state, I think I had a very easy time of it. Natural birth is not bad, and not scary. Yes birth hurts, it's supposed to, but our bodies are beautifully designed to help us deal with that.

I'm not very educated on attachment parenting, but I personally need a little space now and then. Our daughter sleeps in a crib about 3 feet from my side of the bed. If we were co-sleeping I'd never get any sleep because I'd be too concerned about rolling over on her or smothering her. She's already a snuggly little thing, so we get lots of cuddling and bonding time, but I don't wear her on me all the time. I don't think I could anyway, because I have back problems that wouldn't allow for it.

I'm a HUGE advocate of breastfeeding. There's nothing better in the world for your baby than the breast. I nursed our firstborn son for 9 months. I was angling for a year, but he pretty much weaned himself and had no interest in it any longer. I want to nurse our daughter for as long as I am able, but for some reason this time around I am not producing enough for her and have to supplement with formula. It's not ideal, and I'm not happy about it, but I'm doing all that i can to increase my supply in hopes I can nurse longer.

I hope it all works out well for you but if you hit a few bumps in the road along the way, don't get discouraged, things will work themselves out.

Heather - posted on 08/05/2012

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Ok julianne read up on it. Not so much a wild allegation. The consumer product safety commisaion states it unsafe and can lead to stragulation of an infant. Maybe u should read up on it. Http://m.kidshealth.org/parent/general/sleep/cosleeping.html. It also says easier for breast eeding moms to feed the infants in bed thats just plain lazy. Think about it your laying with your baby breastfeeding when they are done eating they cant move far away from your breast like they could if you are sitting up aand feeding this could lead to stragulation. You could even roll onto your baby and again suffocate them.

Heather - posted on 08/05/2012

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I have to say co sleeping is a crazy and bad idea. I hear everyday how parents roll on there babies and suffocate them. Is it really worth it?

Shannon - posted on 08/05/2012

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I think what you are doing is great. I had my first daughter via water birth and it was the most wonderful experience of my life. I also just delivered twins 100% naturally two weeks ago. They both are breast feeding very well and my daughter did very well her first year of life. We cloth diaper too because it is better for them, our pocketbook and the environment. Only thing we did not do was co sleep. The twins will crib together but we just like having our own space. All in all, sounds like you and your husband have thought this through. When you follow your convictions your family will soon realize how great all of this is and they will begin to support you.

Ashley - posted on 08/05/2012

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I have 2 babies under 2 years old and have done a natural birth and a medicated birth. Its all about mental peparedness. I was very well educated via books, research and classes on what to expect for my first birth and it was absolutely validating to naturally birth my first baby. Quite the opposite can be said for my second! We had just experienced the loss of our home and everything in it due to natural disaster and went through the stress of trying to find and buy a new one very quickly before she was born ( I was not having 2 babies in a camper lol ). I went into labor less than a wk after we moved in...and boy was it different! Long story short, an epidural isn't the end of the world and post labor was much more comfortable. My labor was 2.5 hrs from 1st contraction to birth. However, I'm pretty proud to say I went natural with my first:) as far as attchment parenting, I find my kids in particular are better mannered and socialized with a combination of both. I would never let my child share a bed with my husband and I as that is our cherished time to be with one another. Other than that, I don't think it hurts to love and hold them to your hearts content :) I am all for beastfeeding, I think it gives children the most incredible head start in life! Unfortunately, I was unable to successfully breastfeed either of mine past 2 wks - we couldn't get a good latch and I wasn't able to pump enough to keep my supply going...breastfeeding isn't just a matter of will, and that's one thing I wish I could have been educated on. Stay true to you and nevermind the rest! Rely on those that support your parenting style and follow your heart. No one knows what's best for your child except you! Good luck!

[deleted account]

I also said, bash someTHING as in co-sleeping, not someone. Try reading more carefully next time before you get all defensive and jump to conclusions.

[deleted account]

I don't agree with co sleeping. its not necessary and seems dangerous. Plus if you do that the kids won't want to sleep in their room when it's time. It won't affect the babies upbringing in any way

this statement is false, plus saying co-sleeping is dangerous. Thats where you dont know what your talking about. Name calling is against the sites rules, plus very childish. You would think having three kids would have taught you to grow up. Guess not.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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I never said she was wrong. Just stated an opinion. sasha im sure you will be a great mother no matter what you choose to do before during and after your babies birth. Dont go by what anyone else thinks just go with wha you feel is right .

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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I did have the basinette in my room til about 6 months. i wasnt worried about me rolling on my baby I was worried my ex husband would! You talk like daddy wont be in the bed too. He was a deep sleeper so you know.

[deleted account]

Educate yourself before bashing something you know nothing about. :)



Oh, and the whole "mommy and daddy need their space". We get plenty of daily "activity". Why limit yourself to the bedroom? Plus My daughter who is almost 3, sleeps soundly in her own room without any problem at all. With both my children I never lost a wink of sleep when they were infants. I have a 3 month old and get 8 hours a night. If I didn't co-sleep my first baby wouldn't even be here. She was a c-section and had trouble breathing, because I was so close to her, i awoke when she stopped breathing and would give her a little nudge. She could have died if in a crib.



I get it, co-sleeping is not for everyone, but we all have our different choices. Doesn't mean its wrong, just wrong for YOU.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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I wanted a natural birth at age of 21 with my first with no drugs but I was in so much pain that I ended up getting the epi. no one told me how much it hurts. he wouldn't latch so no breastfeeding. I didn't breastfeed any of my 3 children and they are still very close to me. I couldn't fathom breastfeeding for 2 years. Let alone 6 months. I've seen women breast feed children at 5 and even teens! thats just weird and unneccesary I think. i would have liked trying the water birth but it wasnt an option for me. I had medicaid. i don't think one has to go through such extremes to have a baby. either way it is coming out. Just do what you think works best for you . I don't agree with co sleeping. its not necessary and seems dangerous. Plus if you do that the kids won't want to sleep in their room when it's time. It won't affect the babies upbringing in any way. Plus that is mommy and daddys space. co sleeping seems like it would put a strain on your sex life/marriage unless you have a very super supportive hubby. If you and hubby agree I guess its ok .

[deleted account]

I have two children with completely different personalities, so I parent them slightly differently, although I practice AP parenting and positive discipline techniques, with natural consequences where possible, with both of them.

I had to have two inductions due to pre eclampsia so not totally natural (and it made my ideal water birth an impossibility) but I went into my labour with my son (eldest) thinking I wanted the least pain relief possible, I knew I definitely didn't want an epi but was unsure about the lesser meds. I ended up having gas air because transition threw me,I didn't expect it to be so quick. With my daughter I was drug free, I knew what to expect and was able to focus myself better than first time around. My hubby cut the cord with our son (he couldn't do our daughters she needed resuss), I caught our daughter because she came far faster than the midwife expected (less than ten minutes after I had arom at 5cm) :-) I would definitely have a natural birth if I ever get pregnant again it was so much nicer than my slightly medicated birth, absolutely incredible, I remember more and felt more in control.

My son never latched, despite me trying ridiculously hard, I expressed breast milk until my supply dried up (I couldn't get any milk out, with pump or hand) and was so disappointed in myself. My daughter is still breastfeeding at 14 months, I'm intending on getting to 18 months at the moment (but that may change because every time I reach a goal I extend it, I set myself small goals, starting with beating the three weeks my son got, getting to a month, two months, three months, six months, a year, 18 months). I love bf'ing it's so easy once you've got through the first few months.

My son hated even co sleeping in our room (which he did until he was 7 months old) and sleeps far better in his own room without me and my hubby waking him up, he is a great sleeper but light. My daughter loves to be near me so we bed share with her, I love it but I am starting to wake up with unexplained bruises where she's kicked me in her sleep :-)

I also try where possible to provide my kids with healthy, homemade foods and only used pre made baby crap...sorry puree for my son when I ran out of my homemade purees, but he had sense and hated them so I stopped even attempting to buy them, homemade is the best. With my daughter I did baby led weaning to introduce solids, so she fed herself very rarely has she had homemade puree, she far prefers feeding herself and eats like a star.

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