need advice!!!!

Tiffany - posted on 07/16/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am a 26 year old mom of three. A 4 yr old boy, 2yr old boy, and 3 mth old girl. I live in a city that is very cliquey and is really hard to make friends. I've lived here for 5 years, and don't have any friends I didn't have before I moved here. I feel really cooped up all the time. Play, laundry, feed, clean, bla bla bla. Anyone have advice on how to get out and make friends with kids? Or at least how to have somewhat of a social life?

10 Comments

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Carissa - posted on 07/18/2009

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I also live in a pretty cliquey area. I am twenty five and I have to boys and it can get pretty overwhelming. It def is nice to be able to have a conversation that is not about Dora or Thomas the train. That is for sure. I would try looking for support groups or even a local church. They have groups that go out together and they with watch you kids for free. My church has so many things that evry person can find something that they can get involved in and feel supported. Where do you live?

Tiffany - posted on 07/18/2009

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I tried to take my kids to the park yesterday, really hot day knew it would be busy, perfect chatting opportunity right? My 2 year old whipped down his pants and peed right in the sand where all the other kids were playing! I tried to get to him but just being potty trained hasn't quite mastered the start, stop ability. Pretty sure I'll laugh about it later but was quite embarassing!! LOL I just looked around and saw the whispers. So much for that, maybe in a couple days I'll try again and hope it's not the same mom's!

Amber - posted on 07/17/2009

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You should take your kids to the library...most libraries have story time. Or take them to parks or museums...you will meet alot of other moms at these places!

Alicia - posted on 07/17/2009

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Its tricky and nerve wracking. I swear its sooo much easier to make friends when your 10..lol... as long as you both like barbies your best friends. But as women get older, it becomes more complicated than that, the problem is that women are generally very hmm whats the word Im looking for here.... bitchy? Lol.. seriously, were great with good friends and even some aquatiances, but introduce a women weve never met before and its almost impossible to hit it off right away... unless you both like barbies :)

Were always sizing eachother up, and wondering subconsiously what shes good at or better at than us, is she prettier, nicer, cooler? Its hard as an adult, but if you join clubs or organazations that offer things you like, like a cooking class, or scrapbooking club, youll find women who at least share the same interests... and slowly as time goes by they will open up to you and you can form some great long lasting friendships... but you have to remember that your the new kid on the block, youve got to be open to them, and seem available for a chat, talk to them, engage in jokes, or relate stories, that way you dont seem closed off to them, which is going to make everyone stand offish.. I hope I helped a little bit! :)

Emma - posted on 07/17/2009

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Hi Tiffany,

Friends ? Social life ? I used to have those i think !

Its hard to remember it feels so long ago. Im in Port Elizabeth South Africa. Where do you live ?

Danielle - posted on 07/16/2009

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Tiffany, i have a 4 year old and a 9 month old, i have no had a great social life either since having kids and it is hard when they are so little cause they can join many groups and school moms can't happen until they actually start school. I recently started my son at bmx. They start as young as 3 and there are many other parents there. i've been once but a had a great time and my son can't wait to go back.

Katie - posted on 07/16/2009

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Hi Tiffany! welcome to the group! I moved from my hometown just over 4 years ago.....it was very scary not knowing anyone and I lost a lot of confidence and my feeling of self-worth for a while....but slowly and surely I made friends,where? In the school yard of all places...other mothers and I got chatting and over a period of time we arranged coffee mornings,walking sessions,etc and formed some fabulous friendships which I know will be everlasting. I would encourage you to join a library,poetry class or something to meet other adults,if your kids aren't yet at a school-going age, But I assure you,when they do start school....the world is your oyster,it is certain you will meet/chat and form friendships with the other mothers. Best of luck....its only a matter of time xx :)

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