need advice. should i take him to court??

Annamarie - posted on 10/17/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

0

I need advice on what to do.. my daughter is turning 3 tmr. Her bio father pops in and out of her life. This last time he was gone 4 months with absolutely NO contact. He doesn't ask to talk to her, for pictures of her, or make any effort to see her until its convient for him. Meanwhile he claims that I keep her from him. He tries to convience everyone I'm truely out to ruin him. He moved away 6mo ago 8 hrs away and has seen her a total of 3 times (a few hours all together) since. He goes months without a word to her, doesn't contribute financially, and only tries seening her when he comes to town to report for probation. When he comes he expects my husband and I to acomidate to his schedule canceling any plans we may have for him to see her. I haven't taken him to court because I haven't wanted to cause more problems and upset between our families but my daughter is only 3 but telling me she wants my husband to be her dad. She calls her bio dad by name and throws insane fits when she sees him. He doesn't seem interested in being her parent, yet other than that I know he doesn't abuse her..my daughter makes it know she doesn't want to see him. Is it wrong if I don't make her? My husband was just discharged from usmc and can't find a job. I'm going to have to take him to court for child support or we won't be able to make it. Getting him to come into her life is like jumping thru hoops of fire. It strains my marriage, emotionally pains my daughter and myself. If I take him to court would it hurt me if I kept him from her? I honestly believe its in her best interest but I'm scared because idk if the courts would see it that way. Please..I need advice!

3 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

That's good you have proof. I think your witnesses from both familes is a even better help. All that matters is that little girl and they should try n put themselves in ur situation and see what they would do. I hope is all works out. . I know it hurts as a mother her Bio couldn't see this little girl as a important in his life. Hopefully she will forget some of this. Hope it all turns out. Your welcome

Annamarie - posted on 10/18/2012

3

0

0

Thank u..I'm going to take him to court..I'm sure a third party will say what's fair and there will be no bias..it just hurts so much to c her grow and develop and know he couldn't care less..I have some evidence and some witnesses in both of our families and friends I just want everyone involved to do what's best for her. Thank u so much for ur response :)

[deleted account]

your thoughts are all in the right place. i would do everything you feel you should because you are her protector and voice. if her bio dont want to be involved thats his total loss of a amazing daughter. you have every right to take him to court. you are the mother protecting her from anything harmful. its sad its her bio but that dont come in comparision to the negitive effect on ur daughter. child support isnt a negitve effect to her directly its to the family/mother providing everything to keep her alive.example:: the effect is seen when rent is past due because your child dont have winter clothes that fit and her needs come first... there is no aceptable reason her bio cant provide money when any other situation would provide the money for him.example::if her dad wasnt alive money would still be recieved by the state since shes a minor. dont worry yourself over the problems that might be caused if you do this or do that because its all your choice raseing that child. any mother would do what it takes to protect her child in ur same situation.. about the court thing with the judge. no matter if the dad is homeles or the richest man alive, no judge will not put a childs well being over the dads postion in life. a judge will review the background of both parents and if you have any kind of proof on ur side it will only better your case. yoarour child voice since she is 3. any proof of the effect on her regarding her bio is even better. a judge will not remove a child from the mother unless any kind of a harmful situation is suspested. i dont know your full situation so the best advice i have is do what you feel is best for your daughter because who else will have her best intrests in mind and at heart. when a parent gets questions and thoughts in thier head about thier child its up to the parent to figure it out for the best of the child because the thought came for a reason and shouldnt be debated regarding the negitive of others. ive learned that being a mother of 3

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms