Need Help!!!! ASAP!!!

April - posted on 08/23/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am fixing to start my weekly Visits to the Obgyn... and that has got me thinking about a Couple of things one.... That my husband my or my not be here for the birth so whats some things i can do to help our Daughter Emma Bond with Him even when he not there yet... How is Labor and Delivery what should i expect and look out for and how will i really know it time... When is the best time to tell my Mom that she is not going to be in the Delivery Room at all and if My Husband is not there then it will be his Mom (because for one she has been more supportive, understanding and had gone more out of here way to help me than my mother and his mom is a great photographer and i know she will take grate pics as well as a Video if need be).... And Finally what should i bring for me to help out with the Labor and Birth of my daughter...

Thank yall for all the help

April

4 Comments

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Melissa - posted on 08/23/2009

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I would really suggest taking a child birthing class if you are not in one. They help you understand the labor process as well as what to look for. I ended up being induced 6 days late so I can't say first hand what it "feels" like to go into labor at home. You will definitely know if your water breaks full on, but it also may begin to leak which is harder to tell. Take advantage of your weekly visits to the doctor to ask a million questions so you can feel more secure. I used a yoga ball to help ease the pain of contractions (it opens your pelvis more) also you can bring soothing music. I think the best thing to aid labor is to not stay in bed, move around and change positions.
As far as the family thing goes, that is tough. You know your mom so try to be sensitive to her feelings, but also be direct and tell her how you feel. It is your child and your labor so you need to have the people who are going to make you the most comfortable in the room with you. I only had my hubby, but my mom was cool with that.

Sarah - posted on 08/23/2009

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Hello! First of all, my hospital was awesome and i told my doctor that i didnt want anyone there with me in the room except my husband, that i didnt want any phone calls, and that i didnt want any visitors until my older daughters came and they did everything i asked (when my daughters did come, they came in and asked me if they really were my kids before they let them in.. thats how serious they took my request) so you may not even have to tell your mom and during labor she can just stew about it and be over it by the time you have your baby (horrible, i know, but im bad with confrontation).. I did let everyone in my family know what i wanted though and they all were okay with it -- just tell your mom sweetly (id do it as close to delivery as possible that way she doesnt nag you for months) that she isnt going to be there and that you love her and want her to come visit as soon as you pop out your beautiful baby!!
Your baby will bond with your husband even if he isnt there, dont stress over that! i promise you that baby will love your husband... the whole time you've been pregnant she has heard his voice, yours and his voice are most likely the two voices she is the most comfortable with already so she will love her daddy!
I took my computer with me to the hospital and my husband and i rented a dvd -- we didn't watch it, so my advice is leave bulky stuff at home lol Depending on your labor you might want to read a book or watch the tv at the hospital or something but i didnt really feel like it at all. Take socks, everything on your body will be so so hot but your feet will freeze!
as far as labor and delivery go, everyone is different. mine actually went really well i was in labor for about 12 hours but hard labor for only about 30 minutes. Before i had her and i heard people say how long they were in labor for i freaked out but it doesnt seem that long.. hours seem like minutes sometimes. Also, be very upfront with your nurses as to what you want.
And enjoy it! i know that probably sounds insane, but it is an amazing experience and one youll only have once with this little one!

Kimberely - posted on 08/23/2009

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It's hard to say what to expect during labor and delivery but I had 27 hours with my daughter and went through 2-3 weeks of false labor before hand. I'm sure you've heard it before, but you just know when you're in real labor. I thought I was many times but when i actually was it was a for sure i know lets go to the hospital. My best advice is to stay at home for as long as you can handle the pain, at least until your contractions are 2-3 minutes apart and lasting a minute long, Being at home is much more comfortable then being in the hospital.

Now as for laboring in the hospital, walking helped me alot just walkin gand lettiing gravity work to help you, Getting your back massaged is really nice too as well as the bath. It is definantly the most painful thing ive ever expirienced (and ive broken my back twice) so prepare yourself mentally for that, Breathing is really really helpful. Deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth breathing out in short but smooth breaths

As for delivery i had an epidural so i cant really help you out there i was numb and could only be in one possition but ive been told they like to put you in many different possitions to push. =) hope that helps

Tracy - posted on 08/23/2009

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Hello April. I cannot help you with the delivery part. I was rushed in for an emergency c-section after the two inductions did not work. i can give you one very important piece of advice. If you have not had an ultrasound by 37 weeks, make sure you get one. My doctor would not give me one and we never new my son was stuck and had not dropped until i had labored for 12 hours. I do now that when your water breaks, it is like a huge gush of water. There is no mistaking it for anything else. As far as dad possibly not being there. I have had two friends, both husbands deployed at the time, who missed the delivery. I know that lots of pictures and videos were taken so that dad could watch the video and feel like he was part of the experiece and I have also heard of setting up a webcam so that you can communicate with dad during the labor and delivery. I didn't want my mom in the delivery room and I made that clear from day one that no one is allowed in there except my husband. The hospital that i went to had a paper that said who was allowed in your room and the nurses are wonderful and playing the police to keep everything under control. What I would say if I were in your position is that I am not comfortable with you being iin the room mom but I want you to come in after everything is done to spend a few minutes with me and be there for support. if you are going to have your mother in law in the room b/c your husband is not there, I would tell your mom that since your husband is not able to be there, you want his mom there so that in a way a small part of your husband is there with you. As far as what to bring, anything that relaxes you, classical music, certain scents, the birthing ball was my saving grace when I was in active labor. Also take a couple different sizes of baby clothes. You never know exactly how big the baby with be. And take your own pillows. I loved having my own pillow and blanket with me. I hope I have helped you with some of your questions. If I think of any other useful info, I will let you know, Good luck and congrats, tracy

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