Needs advice.....

Heather - posted on 12/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Alright, I need some advice... My ex and i broke up about 3 months ago. We have a 5 year old and a16 month old. It was definitely not a clean break up. Anyways 2 weeks after we broke up he moved in with a girl who he has been friends with for a long time and they are now living with each other and seeing each other. There has been know to be drugs there and this girl has an open CPS (child protective services) case and is visited once a week by CPS. Is it wrong off me to not let the boys go over there and see him?

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Laurie - posted on 12/08/2012

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No its not wrong! Theres NO way my kids would be around that ever. You are being a protective mother! :) I would take it to courtfor full custody and have him have visitation that way with supervision, scenes as it wasnt a healthy break up, it would be best through courts.

Bonnie - posted on 12/07/2012

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You need to trust your instincts as to wether this other girl is okay to be around your children. If you feel like they are not safe with her then maybe you could suggest he sees the kids outside of their home. My husband and I are still together so I can't relate that well but I know I would never keep them from seeing him as it is what's best for them. I would be hesitant about him (or myself) introducing the kids to a partner before we've been with them a long time (and given the kids time to heal from our separation) because kids can be influenced so easily and need consistency with their caregivers in order to feel secure. It would be really hard for me to accept her taking care of them this soon, as it seems like he moved on a little too quickly and also the CPS case. Maybe you could ask for more details about what the case was regarding to make a better informed decision.

My bottom line is, if you don't feel like your kids are safe there then another arrangement needs to be made.

Jessica - posted on 12/06/2012

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No it is not wrong. You have that instinct to want to protect your children. If she has an open CPS case, than obviously there are some issues with her. If your baby daddy gets huffy over you protecting your children. Take him to the courts. Don't be afraid to do what you think is the safest route for your children.

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