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Holly - posted on 08/03/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello Everyone. My name is Holly and I have a 2 year old little girl named Willow Rain. Been married a little over a year now and loving every minute of all of it. I also have two step-children 11 and 6 years old. I love being a step-mom as well. But I'm not sure on how to get them to call me mom or be affectionate towards me. For example: giving me hugs hello or goodbye. And I've tried and they just kind of shrug me off. I'm not really sure how to get them to accept me as there step-mom and not just the girl there dad married. Other then that we get a long great.

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Jennifer - posted on 08/04/2009

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my partner has 2 kids from a previous relationship and i would never expect them to call me mum i think that title belongs to one person only when they slip up and call me mum i just laugh and say silly billy im jenni they know i love them both to bits and we tell them im there friend and dads partner and they respect me greatlly we have cuddles and play together more than their dad sometimes i think we wouldnt be so close if we tried to incorperate me as a second mum, im happy and so are they the way things are and its clear to them thats how it is, just be their friend they'll come round in the end.

Lucy - posted on 08/04/2009

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I don't have any experience of being a step mum or helping you with that buti just wanted to say.... willow rain is one of the most gorgeous names i've ever heard!

Samantha - posted on 08/03/2009

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I don't have experience as a step mom but I do as the step child. All you can do is continue to try. You don't want to replace their Mom and it may seem like their shrugging you off but don't be offended. It may have nothing to do with you. Unfortunately you are the girl their Dad married and they may have a hard time accepting that. I remember wanting my parents to be together and it wasn't easy to accept that they weren't, let alone being forced to have a replacement Mom. I don't mean to be offensive, I'm sure you're a wonderful Mom and Step Mom. If you guys are getting along great then just keep being there for them. Trust me, they will appreciate the fact that you are someone that loves them just like a biological parent. You can't force anything to happen but it sounds like you're doing all the right things to make it possible. Give them love and next thing you know they'll be hugging and kissing you all the time. As for them calling you Mom, that's something that you should let them decide. Let them know it's alright with you if they would like to call you Mom, if they would rather call you by your name let them know that's okay too. I did end up referring to my step Mom as Mom, but when I spoke to my biological Mom I would call my step Mom by her name because I could tell it hurt my Mom to hear it. My step sisters though never called my Dad by Dad, only by his first name. They love him very much but chose not to call him Dad.

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