No respect from my baby daddy..HELP!!

Elyssa - posted on 10/28/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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recently i found out that the father of my child was talking bad about me behind my back to other females, calling me out of my name etc, (we were together but i ended it) i feel there is NO respect there so i do not want to expose my child to that behavior because you learn from your surroundings... i will not let him see her or spend the weekend with him anymore.. am i taking this to seriously? what should i do.. i have never said anything bad or degrading about him to anyone.. i've been there since the beginning in every situation...and loved him dearly.

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Tasheka - posted on 10/28/2009

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i really don't blame you. if he is not respecting you as a person than that means he does not respect you as a mother. stand your ground because in the end your doing what is best for your daughter. she doesn't need a "father" around that is acting like an immature high school student trying to spread rumors about her mother. if he does this to you than who is to say he won't do the same about your child when she gets older? i know sounds far feched but really??

Angell - posted on 10/28/2009

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i would have a talk with him. he just needs to remember the lil one is around and doesn't need to hear either of his parents talk bad about the other. he isn't going to grow up until he wants to, so taking his kid away is only going to make matters worse. if the talk doesn't help just be the bigger person and cont. not to say anything bad about him. good luck!

Carol - posted on 10/28/2009

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i suggest letting him know how you feel. even though you have ended the relationship as lovers, there is still the relationship of father and mother to your child. it is serious and should be addressed. hopefully there has been some misunderstanding :3 good luck!

Teri-Lyn - posted on 10/28/2009

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i think its not too harsh, if the father can't respect you your child will grow up thinking that's how it is and its ok to treat you like that, you have a right to stand up for yourself and you deserve respect. no matter how things went between the two of you you're still the mother of his child and that in itself deserves respect, my son's father and i aren't together and neither one of us talk bad about the other in front of our son, i told him i don't care what he says about me as long as it isn't said in front of Ethan.

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12 Comments

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Kathia - posted on 08/17/2012

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let him say what he wants about you to who ever but don't keep the child away from him its not gonna make it any better he is obviously just mad that you ended it and thats how he copes with it by talking about you all day long... laugh at him and continue to be a great mother

Elyssa - posted on 10/28/2009

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I am not mad at him, i think it is pitiful that he would put another female in front of his family and cant sacrifice to do without the people that causes US problems..i cant change him i know this.. im not using my child to force him to do anything, if there is no respect being shown our daughter will think its okay because daddy does it & its not, children learn from their surroundings and think its okay because their parents are doing it... but its not & i dont agree with it & im not going to put her in that enviornment

Shouneille - posted on 10/28/2009

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Elyssa,

To many times we as women use our children as a way to punish the men in our lives. The truth of the matter is-this is not in any way ok. Your child is not a bargaining chip for him to act right. He is obviously a little young in the mind and has a lot of growing up to do. And you two as parents have a lot of growing to do together. You can not and will not force him to grow up by taking his child away just because you are mad at him. Talk to him and explain that talking about you behind your back is childish and petty and be firm when you tell him that degrading you IN ANY WAY in front of your child will never be tolerated. Just please, please do not bring your child into a matter that honestly has nothing to do with her.

Elyssa - posted on 10/28/2009

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he doesnt have parental rights, & is not on child support, but i guess im not that type of mother...to pretend & be fake... i can do without

Tenisha - posted on 10/28/2009

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This is a hard issue, bc regardless thats his child as well, if your child isnt legitimized ( by him) he doesnt have any parental rights, But most mothers still want children to see their father regardless of ill situations. I know from experience that this can be a pressing issue. I would suggest maybe going to court - child support - setting up visitation or if you dont want to go that route, both of you set up visitation maybe at your place for X amount of hours a day..Goodluck..

Elyssa - posted on 10/28/2009

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no, he doesnt talk bad about me around her... just in general i think there needs to be some form of respect

Lindsay - posted on 10/28/2009

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Was he talking bad about you around your kid? I would talk with the father and just make sure he acts right around your kid, but other than that.. you can't control what the father thinks or says about you.

Libby - posted on 10/28/2009

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I would tell him that if he wants to see the child then you will meet him in public places so theres a less chance he will act like a jacka$$! Then if the problem continues, tell him he can see the child when he decides to grow up!

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