On the fence about going for custody...

Samantha - posted on 08/20/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex and I split up when my daughter was about 8 months old. He lives with his parents and I live with my SO. Our schedule is always different because we try to work together. For the most part he has her Monday from 10-7, Wednesday 10-6, Friday 10-7, and Saturday 9-6. Those are the times that I am totally ok with him having. It gets tricky when his work schedule gets in the way. My mom will usually watch her while I work but that does not solve the issue with who loses what time. He is constantly arguing with me about the schedule. I originally told him he could have her two days a week and every other weekend but he won't accept that because of his work schedule. I really want to get it where it is either consistent and I always know when I have her and there is no arguing because it is set and stone, or I want it to be flexible and not a battle over who has how much time with her. He can't take her overnight at all so that never helps. He holds it against me that I get to see her EVERY DAY even though some days I only see her for a half hour in the morning and an hour before bedtime. It isn't a very good situation for her at his house but I do not want to keep her from him. I'm worried that I will lose all flexibility if I go to court over it but on the other hand I want both of us to know the schedule so there is no argument. He says he loses time because he works and it's not fair, when I don't gain ANY of the time because I have a set schedule. Just looking for help with what to do and or expect.

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D - posted on 09/26/2014

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honestly, if you want something consistent go to court. he will not like the idea, but what will more thank likely happen is what you offered him, every other weekend and one day a week. just curious why cant she stay over night? mine is 2 and i fought hard to not let my ex have her over night because he is an alcoholic...that may change if he can convince the judge he is no longer drinking...which he is a good actor but i know he will not give it up for long, that's the reason our family is broken. but prepare for things to get ugly if you two go to court, one person usually the father will not like what the judge orders and then the "civil relationship" you two had will no longer be...If you need any help or have any questions let me know. Good luck.

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